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Original poster

Is it just me or is this woman a foul old trout? Longish...

26 replies

olivia35 · 28/07/2006 23:07

Dh is pretty much a one-man department, so there's a fair bit of flexibility both ways - he works from home regularly BUT often till late or at weekends. Also he was head-hunted for the role & is MD's blue eyed boy...

He's on 2 weeks hols from tomorrow. So, his schedule today was: office for a couple of hours, client meeting other side of town, 'working lunch' back at office (a monthly, convivial affair with the emphasis firmly on the lunch, not the working - basically office gossip session), then sorting anything that couldn't wait 2 weeks.

This morning, a colleague, on ML, pops in for coffee & to show off new baby. Ooohs & aaahs.

Why haven't YOU brought YOUR baby in yet, ask colleagues.

OK, says dh, I'll pick her up from dw on way back from client meeting (we live 10 mins drive from his office).

So he collects dd (4 months) & takes her to lunch with colleagues. Ooohs & aahs.

She's snoozing peacefully in her sling, so he returns to his office to do whatever needs doing before he buggers off on hols.

Enter (newish) manager of another dept. She is senior to dh but doesn't actually supervise him.

She asks if he's about to go home.

Dh assumes she's looking boot-faced at him sloping off early, says well, I'm doing x & y, then taking z home with me, is there anything else you desperately need doing before I go?

Not at all, says old trout. But I really don't think you should have that baby here, it isn't appropriate.

Dh comes home thoroughly upset by this. Apparently she was really quite curt & he's now imagining her spending his holiday slagging him off.

I've told him that it's probably because HER department is largely staffed by women of childbearing age & she's envisioning a dangerous precedent & a pram by every desk...

Are we right in thinking she's over-reacting? It was a one-off & really wasn't upsetting anyone else.

OP posts:

Chandra · 28/07/2006 23:29

If he were taking young baby to the office all day long or very very often I would say she had a point but, given the info in the OP I would say she should be ashamed of herself

Panyanpickle77 · 28/07/2006 23:31

Sounds like a sour faced dried up old hag. Tell your husband not to fret, she obviously doesnt have a maternal instinct in her body!!! She probably went home to a microwave dinner, and a smelly cat wishing she had a life.........

Chandra · 28/07/2006 23:33

at the smelly cat wishing she had a life!

chubbleigh · 28/07/2006 23:36

I thought everyone took there baby into their work at least once, you've got to go and say thanks for the presents. She can't be popular with that attitude, it's not like he works in a coal mine. Don't worry about it.

Original poster

olivia35 · 28/07/2006 23:45

ta for that people - he's still fairly cross about it.

Apparently she has grown up kids, so maybe when they were small taking them into the office was off-limits.

Dh makes the point that female colleagues regularly pop in on ML with babies; as a bloke he'd assumed that he wouldn't be doing so (as not on leave - he appreciates it's different as he was actually 'at work'), but then colleagues were asking to see dd & it all seemed harmless enough.

OP posts:

Jimjams2 · 28/07/2006 23:47

She is what I call a lemon sucker. Had one in my house this afternoon. Smiling sweetly whilst saying "lemon sucker lemon suker" over and over in my head helps considerably I find

foundintranslation · 28/07/2006 23:52

'Not appropriate' - ffs. my ds (14 months) is a reasonably regular feature in my office (never for long - half an hour or so between classes - dh will drop by with him), and most of my students have admired him at least once (one of them took it upon herself to tell me I shouldn't be bf him at night any more, rod for my own back etc. etc. )

Original poster

olivia35 · 29/07/2006 00:00

The thing is - I think she felt it was precedent-setting (ie. someone in her dept. could subsequently say 'well X brought HIS baby into work', & expect to do so regularly/all day).

But dh's plan initially was to take dd to the lunch thing, then drop her back home before returning to his own office (all night if he had to, he's definitely not a slacker) - however, sleeping baby, not much urgently needing doing - seemed simplest to get it done then knock off.

I can see both sides, but still seems terribly jobsworth.

OP posts:

BearintheBigBlueHouse · 29/07/2006 00:07

he's cool
she's not
nuff said

Tortington · 29/07/2006 03:31

actually think your dh is wrong in this scenario - it is inappropriate. people are supposed to be working - thats why at any office i ever worked in the women ( and one man ever) come in at lunch time for the ooohs and ahhhhs.

at which point i fuck off sharpish for a cig.

maybe she is a bitter old fuckface. but i dont think shes wrong.

WideWebWitch · 29/07/2006 08:58

We're not allowed to bring babies or children into our office because of health and safety (a child died on a competitor's premises apparently) but I do think this woman was being horrible if there's no such policy at your dh's work. If he's MD's blue eyed boy he should just forget it though, she comes across as a bitter horrible hag, he comes across as lovely family man.

vix1 · 29/07/2006 09:36

If i were him id probably have a quiet word with her, and just explain why he took her in, and it isn't going to be a regular thing. But then again id prob. be really pissed off and end up saying something id regret! She should have asked anyway if she was that concerned as to why he bought her in! Id be very annoyed, some people just aren't maternal, so they wont ever understand!!

NannyStar · 30/07/2006 19:13

custardo!!!

Woman does sound like a sour faced old trollop. A man showing his bundle of joy off is v.sweet IMHO.

1Baby1Bump · 30/07/2006 19:40

minging old hag.

just ignore the JEALOUS cow!

Blondilocks · 30/07/2006 20:09

I'm sorry but I think it's inappropriate to have a baby at work while you're actually meant to be working.

Fair enough to bring baby in at lunch time to show colleagues.

MuddyMum · 30/07/2006 21:07

If management show they have consideration for their staff's feeling (i.e pride in being a new parent), then staff will have greater respect for the organisation for which they work and work hard. I've worked for management with no people skills (bossy, bullying and dogmatic)and loathed them - did the minimum for them. Good for your DH to take baby into work! Nice to see proud Dads.

tigermoth · 31/07/2006 07:41

There's a lot you can read into her reaction.

It's a pity your dh can't get an angle on it before his holidays. If it bothers him that much, he could ring personnel to chat it through with them, thereby anticipating any complaint she might make.

As she's seniour to dh perhaps she felt she would be responsible if any health and safety issue arose, so was making it clear she did not approve and did not know, simply to cover her back. Just playing by the book.

Perhaps she felt your dh should have asked her permission, even though he is not in her department - or was waiting for him to say he had cleared it with his own boss.

Perhaps your dh makes her feel insecure and jealous, as she knows he is the MD's blue eyed boy, and she took the chance to have a pop at him and spitefully wanted to unsettle him before his holiday.

Just as well she is not his direct boss. I think she sounds insecure and didn't communicate her message properly.

1Baby1Bump · 31/07/2006 07:46

oh and also, its crap management for her to tell your dh off. she should have gone via HIS supervisor if she had a problem with it.

Caligula · 31/07/2006 08:14

She a Foul Old Trout.

So what about the h+s and jobsworth issues. There's a way of raising it (if it really is an issue) and a time of raising it, which is more appropriate than the way she did it. She may technically be correct, but she is technically incorrect in her way of dealing with it.

FOT. Definately.

nikkie · 31/07/2006 19:47

On a similar note did anyone see the article in G2(guardian) where the staff took their kids in for the day?

Original poster

olivia35 · 31/07/2006 23:21

Well, I think I agree with everybody!

Yes, he should probably have taken her in briefly during a lunch hour this week whilst he's on hols (agree with Custado & Blondilocks).

However, Foul Old Trout did rather over-react IMO - it was a brief check of emails & dealing with essential stuff, in dh's private office, & following a monthly convivial lunch after which half the workforce tend to repair directly to the local hostelry & call it a weekend.

Dh is mostly pissed off because he feels that he reports directly to MD, not Trout. & MD couldn't give a monkey's who anyone has in their office so long as job gets done (2 Jack Russels & a bewildering procession of mistresses in MD's case...)

I'm mostly pissed off because it's all slightly soured dh's hols & he's STILL quietly seething about it...

Thanks everyone for opinions.

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 23:24

I think she is me in a period pre-children and totally career obsessed

She's wrong though...(as I was)

eidsvold · 31/07/2006 23:28

old trout - i took my dd1 to school on a few occasions - usually when I was teaching year 11's who had work to get on with and dd1 would play quietly on the floor behind my desk or she would crawl around the room checking out what was in the kid's bags. NOt a nice public school wither - rough as guts old comprehensive in Essex - but the kdis were fab with dd1 - great to watch this tough lads turn to big wusses when dd1 was around. No one thought anything strange from it - usually it was an afternoon session where I had been to the hospital for an appt with dd1.

aitch71 · 31/07/2006 23:46

how old is the old trout? is she still remotely of child-bearing age? if so, it may be the case that she was simply jealous... i had a few false starts at the whole pregnancy thing and while that was all going on the sight of people showing off their new babies made me run and throw up in the nearest toilet. Perhaps she was being a cow to cover up other feelings?
if not, then she's deeply naff. luckily your DH is the MD's blue-eyed boy so should be able to engineer her speedy dismissal...

Original poster

olivia35 · 01/08/2006 00:05

FOT has grown up kids - she's in her 50s.

I think a) there was none of this bringing in of babies nonsense when SHE were a lass

& b) her Dept. is full of women of childbearing age (her predecessor as Department manager left to be at home with children), so she's antsy about precedent-setting re: babies snoozing under the desk

& c) she & dh just clash. She doesn't like the fact that the nature of dh's role is that one week he's there till 10pm ('upsetting the cleaners'); next week he's swanning around off-site running the company stall at some trade exhibition.

Grrr. I'm quite sure the whole thing was just her chuntering to no purpose, tbh.

OP posts:

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