Struggling to carry on

[Excited1stmum]

Hi ladies,

I really really need your help desperately!!! I'm 29 weeks with my 1st DS and plan to finish work at 36. I was promoted at work before Xmas with a nice pay rise which I'm grateful for but the job has not turned out as I expected. Its a mess and needs lots of dedicated work to put process in place. It's a new team and I feel like I'm working for a new company. 2 days a week I'm having to commute to an office 3 hours away on the train which I HATE and the other days I work from home.

My boss has clearly got a problem with me being pregnant (despite saying it wasn't a problem in the interview) and she takes every opportunity to have a pop at me and cause problems when talking about my end date/owed holiday. I'm feeling completely depressed about work and on the days I wfh I find myself lazing in bed for as long as possible and avoiding doing anything work related at all if I can. I feel really guilty and if my DH knew he wouldn't be happy.

I've had low blood pressure but no other pregnancy problems so far touch wood so don't think I can get signed off work. Other than work I am so excited about the baby but I'm cutting corners at work and doing the bare minimum I can get away with. Please please please tell me what I should do for the next 7 weeks because I don't think I can cope anymore and don't want to feel miserable during the best time of my life :-(

What about starting maternity leave earlier? You can change the date you go off if you give 28 days' notice, or your employer may even accept less notice. I think that's what I'd do in circumstances where you're physically fine, just fed up.

Hi Flowery, thank you so much for your reply. This is the first time I've posted anything and its so nice to know that you have read it and replied so thank you again :-)

Work are already annoyed that I'm planning to take my full holiday allowance for this year prior to mat leave so I don't think bringing the mat leave forward would help the situation. It would definitely make things worse!

I just need to find some motivation from somewhere to get my head down and get on with it. Especially given that this role is quite flexible which I will need if/when I return. I just need to stop taking everything so personally that my boss says which is hard when your emotions are a bit wobbly! I would definitely be looking for another job if I wasn't pregnant so I guess the trapped feeling is just making things feel worse too. I've got 10 years solid experience but feel like I'm being treated like a child.

It's very unsatisfying for me knowing that I literally have days where I haven't achieved anything work wise. I'm even making to do lists of house stuff to get done and cross off just so I don't feel like a total lay about! Haha. The wfh thing is new to me too and I don't think it's helping!