I've been lucky enough to have taken almost a year of maternity leave, dp and I have scrimped our way through somehow...although probably ever so slightly exceeding our means so it is important I go back to work, albeit part time.
We work for the same employer and work shifts so dd will be looked after by dp when I work, we have thought about the importance of time off together so will get two days every ten as a family. I appreciate that in respect of being able to care for dd ourselves without the need for nursery means we are very lucky and I am glad of that but we do pay for it with our hours!
I'm in the process of negotiating my shift pattern for when I return. My gripe is that the manager of my area wants me to move shifts to a team where I don't know anyone because they are short of numbers. I knew there would be an element of change on my return and I'd reconciled myself to having to learn a new job role as it were, part timers don't tend to have the stability full timers do in terms of their job role. This was daunting enough (on top of the anxiety of leaving 9 month old dd) but not having the support of my colleagues worries me. I feel like I'd be starting a whole new job, new faces, new role...and I didn't sign up for that, I was happy where I was.
They are so desperate for me to move to this shift they want to move dp to another shift to enable it!
I don't feel like I can say no to this, even though I'm angry at being rail roaded into all this change. Dp understands but says I need to suck it up, as long as it works for us and dd I should just get on with it. He's also having to move but it actually benefits him as he's been after a move for a while (hates his boss).
I KNOW he's right and I will get to know everyone and learn my new role but I'm so anxious about it I had a panic attack this morning (I assume-white vision, heart thumping in ears, difficulty breathing...actually might have been a faint). Have suffered anxiety /pnd during my mat leave and this is not helping!
Anyway, gosh this is long. I don't think there is anything to be done. I have to do it, just needed to get it out.