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Boss on my case re returning to work - any tips?

4 replies

mrsbun81 · 10/01/2014 13:41

My boss has been texting and calling me since my DS was 10 weeks old, initially, although I was a bit annoyed, it seemed like she was trying to be friendly and supportive (she has 2 kids herself and just came back from ML in August when her DD was 8 months), but as time's gone on I've now started to feel very pressured by her to give a definitive date of my RTW, even though I have until June. We met up in dec and I mentioned the possibility of coming back in April due to financial constraints but that I needed to sit down with DH to work out what we can afford to do. I also told her that I was feeling quite anxious about leaving DS in nursery at such a young age. Since then, we've worked out our finances and it turns out I can afford to stay off until June. My boss has been on my case again this week to send her a request for my return to work conditions so I've done so, letting her know I'm aiming to be back in June. I've had 2 arsey responses from her asking me why I've now changed my mind from April to June, even though I'd never said anything definitive about coming back in April. I'm already feeling guilty and anxious enough about going back, now she's making me feel guilty too and I'm dreading it even more!
Another thing worth mentioning is when we met up she told me I'd have to stop breastfeeding when I come back as there's only a disabled toilet to use to express milk! She fed her kids on formula after 2 months which is obviously totally up to her and I respect her decision to do so but I feel like she doesn't appreciate or respect the fact that I want to bf as long as possible.
Am I right to be feeling so annoyed or should I just suck it up?!

OP posts:
SofaKing · 10/01/2014 13:45

She must legally provide a safe a hygienic place for you to express, not a toilet! This is a legal obligation so if she does not do so, I would go to HR.

She also shouldn't be contacting you during your mat leave unless it is to arrange KIT days, constantly harassing you for a return date is not on.

What would happen if you stopped responding to her texts?

mrsbun81 · 10/01/2014 13:51

I wish I had the balls to tell her to leave me alone but I don't want to make an enemy of her before I go back or it will make going back even worse than it already is!

OP posts:
skyeskyeskye · 10/01/2014 13:55

www.adviceguide.org.uk/wales/e_maternity_rights_at_work-3.pdf

www.sydneymitchell.co.uk/services-individuals/employment-law/maternity-and-paternity-leave/maternity-leave

www.nhs.uk/Planners/breastfeeding/Documents/breastfeedingandwork[1].pdf

A few links for you to read, but basically anything other than agreed contact is harrassment. You do not need to go back earlier than 52 weeks, but after 26 weeks your employer can offer you an alternative role with same money and hours. Regarding breastfeeding, employers have a legal obligation to provide somewhere that you can express and a toilet is not deemed suitable.

However... If your employer is a very small firm in a small premises, then there may not be anywhere, literally, that is suitable.

SofaKing · 10/01/2014 14:10

I'd read Skye's brilliant links and have a think about how it would be best to handle her.

Perhaps respond to texts with the bare minimum, if asked why you have changed your mind about when you come back, just reply 'Family reasons' and refuse to elaborate. Any questions about work, you don't know. After all you haven't been there for months.

She sounds like a total PITA, you must just be dying to go back to work Grin.

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