The GUILT - any tips?!

[woowoo22]

Second week back at work after mat leave. Last week was fine, am struggling a little this week. DS seems so young! He is 9m.

Am doing 4 days, have good hours and really enjoy my job. Have been told my role is changing to involve international travel, starting early next year ( 1-2 trips a year of 10ish days each, plus some local travel every month, 1 night away max). I can't bear the thought of being away from DS. Turning down the travel is not an option if I want to advance my career, which I do.

DS is looked after by family, and if I wasn't working we would be struggling (DH doesn't earn v much), but I feel like am letting my son down.

Is it normal to feel like this? I do love my job/company but part of me is questioning if I'm doing the right thing. Have felt so so guilty this week!

I had exactly the same feelings (and to some extent, still do but it's much better now). What helped me was a) reminding myself that it's good for my DDs to have other influences/experiences in their lives than just Mummy, b) hoping that my working would give me some useful perspectives on the working world that I could share with them in the future, c) reminding myself that I am contributing to their financial security. As far as travelling goes, there is no getting away from the fact that it is hard (I have to go away for a week at least 3 times a year and I hate it each and every time) but once I'm there, I get into work mode and then it becomes about counting the days to coming home. I also spend time away looking for little gifts for them as that helps me to feel close to them. I also call as much as possible which helps.
I get really wound up just before going on trips so now I just force myself not to think about it until I am on the way to the airport (and then I allow myself a little cry, I know it's pathetic!) and then I just get on with it.
Don't worry - your little boy sounds very well cared for by family, and it will get easier as time goes on. Good luck!

It's completely normal. My ds went to nursery full time at 10months but he loved it from day 1 which helped massively. I missed him a lot but also enjoyed my freedom. Having a hot cup of tea, a lunch hour and adult conversation which i'd really missed! I think you need to focus on what you are giving him by working, which is a stable income and a well balanced mummy! You are lucky that he is with family, so he is with people he loves and who love him.
Please don't feel guilty, every mum who has left their child feels exactly the same - we feel your pain but give it a few months and you'll settle into it.

Thank you both! Made me feel so much less alone. Am going to write down the reasons why I work in my diary so I can look at them during low moments. Also going to ask work to give me a decent amount of notice for trips (3 weeks??) then that way I can at least prepare myself properly.

Thank you