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Original poster

Can't handle the technology of my job any more

21 replies

RubySparks · 19/11/2013 19:21

I work for a software company and I'm nearly 50, on HRT and thyroxine for hypothyroidism. I just feel like my brain doesn't work any more... I can't keep up with the technical side of the job, have short term memory problems, difficulty focussing and concentrating.

I don't know if it is down to lots of change in recent years, my age or my medical issues. What can I do if I can't do my job any more? Is medical retirement an option or voluntary redundancy? I want to work but just can't handle this any more.

OP posts:

flowery · 19/11/2013 20:53

Has your manager noticed a decline in your performance/capabilities? Are you discussing this with him/her in terms of what the concerns are and whether there is anything they can do to help?

Original poster

RubySparks · 19/11/2013 21:27

Well I guess part of the problem is a number of different managers... Two this year so far. Going back several managers, one was more aware and understood, I worked from home more and could lie down for a sleep at lunchtime (yes really, it was that bad couldn't keep my eyes open, think that was due to thyroid though have had chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia suggested as well).

Latest manager was kind of in name only until a few weeks ago so although I explained the ongoing health issues, not to mention recent bereavements, I haven't said I'm not coping. Guess that conversation is due.

I'm just a but afraid of what it will open up if I admit how hard it is. My head is a mess, brain fog where I go blank on things, forget things one minute to the next...

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flowery · 19/11/2013 21:52

Have you ta?ked to your doctor about how you're struggling with work?

EBearhug · 19/11/2013 22:10

Health issues and bereavements will explain a foggy brain. Sounds to me like you need support and stress management - the technology is a symptom rather than the cause.

Original poster

RubySparks · 19/11/2013 22:23

I have been to the doc quite a lot trying to get a handle,on the thyroid problem, was too low, then too high but seems a bit better now. It may be time to go back, wondering about depression too, thought it was thyroid causing it but actually it's not going away.

I think I have coped better with changes previously so maybe it's the last straw kind of thing. I just don't want to do it any more, too much of an effort to try to learn this stuff and then I find I'm doing something different again.

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EBearhug · 19/11/2013 22:43

Fair enough if you decide that, but don't underestimate the cumulative effect of health problems and bereavements, particularly if they were close to you. But if different work will make it easier to cope with, then it's a win all round, I guess. I hope you work it out.

Original poster

RubySparks · 19/11/2013 22:47

Thank you. I honestly just don't know what to do, I have been looking for another job but finding that hard going to! There isn't much can be done for health or bereavement is there, I have been trying to fix health issues for at least 3 years so I know there are no quick answers to that. It feels like I won't get back to how I was - I used to be quick to learn! That seems unbelievable now when I forget what I was supposed to be working on.

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EBearhug · 19/11/2013 23:03

Oh, I was reading back through some documentation I wrote a few years ago recently, and I was quite amazed at what I used to know!

Have you considered careers counselling at all? I found that quite helpful, just giving me a clearer idea of what a lot of my non-technical skills are (which I tend to take for granted), and also what my values around work are, and generally just a different perspective on how to look at getting satisfaction from work.

Original poster

RubySparks · 19/11/2013 23:20

That sounds like a good idea, how do you find a career counsellor? I mean how do you know if they are good, presumably could just google...

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EBearhug · 19/11/2013 23:25

I got one through my union. My company also has an employee assistance programme, and careers counselling is one of the services they offer.

It's not always a cheap option, but I found it really useful having someone who had no former relationship with me taking a view on my skills and experience, and just talking things through with me and helping me focus on particular areas - I was doing most of the work, but they showed me the path. It helps if you have some idea of what you want to achieve, but I think you're already partly there by having started this thread.

EBearhug · 19/11/2013 23:32

Unhelpfully, I can't remember the name of the company the counsellor worked for. I will have details somewhere, but I had a massive email clearout a while back...

ClaraStahlbaum · 20/11/2013 00:08

I've got hypothyroidism too and it's a bugger to keep on top of at times. I've been feeling bad again recentl, but my bloods were coming back fine. It turns out when other things were texted for, I was very, very low on vitamin D and lacking a fair amount of iron too. It might be worth checking with your doctor about these things, and vitamin B12, because they are apparently quite common with thyroid problems (vit d and b12, not iron especially). A lack of vit D can also cause depression.

Original poster

RubySparks · 20/11/2013 07:40

Thanks Clara, I did have low vit d at the start of the year but it has come back up to normal range, I was taking tablets for a while and making sure I went outside. It could be heading low again though now winter is here. I have annual checks for b12 and others at my annual coeliac appointment. I think it may be complex autoimmune problems I just do my best with it.

I will look into the employee assistance program at work too, I have used it in the past for counselling but not career counselling, not sure if they do that. Could go through union too actually but again don't know if they offer it, will find out!

OP posts:

tribpot · 20/11/2013 07:45

Could you take a full month off work? Properly decompress, get some fresh air and sunshine (I really resent being in the office at this time of year when it's so dark the rest of the time) and see if that helps restore your equilibrium.

The brain fog could be fibromyalgia ('fibro fog') but I wouldn't leap to that diagnosis yet.

The type of work doesn't seem to be helping, are you constantly flitting between technologies or products? Could you ask to be assigned to one thing for a while?

FeetUpUnitilChristmas · 20/11/2013 09:16

OP I concur with tripod, about taking a month or longer of work, if you can take it as leave great or maybe as sick leave with the help of your GP.

I work at a high management level although not in technology but we have a dynamic energetic sales force and most of my colleagues were younger than me. Over the past 5 years I have been feeling generally rough and had operations to help alleviate my health problems in 2011 and 2012 each time taking under 3 weeks off work. By the time my latest problem was diagnosed this summer I was barely managing to hold it together, I was permanently exhausted, snappy with people and didn't always make the best decisions. I masked this well and I am sure this wasn't really helpful.

Because the operation I required had a recovery time of 6-12 weeks I made the decision to take a long break of 6 months to give me the best chance of a full recovery. During the first 6 weeks of my break I concentrated on myself, I rested, caught up with the jobs at home that had just got left, saw friends and family that I hadn't had time or energy to see, took myself on holiday for some sun and relaxation and just generally de-stressed and recharged.

By the time I went in for my op I was a calm refreshed happy person despite my underlying health issue, and what I am trying to say to you is that at this point having given myself space if I had gone back to work I would have been ready.

As another positive is that my recovery from my op (which was more complex than originally planned) has gone very well and although I still have 6 weeks left of my leave I am ready to go back.

Please note my medical issues are different to yours and I have far fewer ongoing issues than you appear to have.

Timetoask · 20/11/2013 09:27

OP, I honestly don't think your problem has anything to do with your age. My dh is in IT and is your age, he is on the ball with technology and can work for hours and hours!

My sister also has thyroid problems so I know it can be very debilitating if not controlled well. I think you need to have a thorough health check, your body is not functioning as it should. Once you get that sorted everything will fall back in

Original poster

RubySparks · 20/11/2013 19:09

Thanks tribpot and Feetup that sounds great. I would love to take a good chunk of time off but not sure how that would work, is is all unpaid? Can't really afford to not be earning. Time I think you may be right, I have kind of lost sight of what well is like and probably I am accepting being very under par as normal.

I just don't know how I can get any more help, GPs and I've seen several don't seem to have any ideas, though I have had many many blood tests! One GP did say it might be too early to find out what's wrong and it would have to get worse before I got better. I can't keep on like this though.

I had major melt down last night / this morning, slept really badly and only realised when calm that what happened was a massive over reaction to a stress at work. Basically being expected to do a job without the information to do it, simply can't deal with that any more, such an effort to push to get what I needed. That may go back to fatigue though really.

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Original poster

RubySparks · 20/11/2013 19:10

Thanks Time that was a good remember that this isn't normal!

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Original poster

RubySparks · 20/11/2013 19:10

Reminder!

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tribpot · 20/11/2013 20:08

You sound like you really need a breather. How much leave do you have left to take? I would ask your manager if you can take a week almost immediately and then the bulk of it in one go as soon as possible.

At this rate it's only a matter of time before you are off sick with stress, to be honest. Whilst that would be 'better' in that you would have a period on full pay, you need to avoid it getting to that stage if you can, as it will only aggravate your physical symptoms.

Original poster

RubySparks · 20/11/2013 22:10

Thanks tribpot I did have some time off at the beginning of 2012 mainly due to thyroid/ fatigue but stress played a part. I am just counting down to Christmas really and should get two weeks off then which just sounds so good... Though from experience this kind of tiredness doesn't get better just from time off. It was really hard to get back from sick leave so would rather not do it again. Also not long in new role on a project and the main work will take place December/January so not ideal for sick leave, it never is!

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