Why won't he see sense? I'm going to go into early labour over this!!

[1Baby1Bump]

Ds is 1 this month and I am due again on 6th Sept with Ds2.
My husband works full time and I currently work 4 days per week, finishing at 4pm on 2 of these days. This was as much as we could afford for me to reduce my hours by when Ds1 was born.
When Ds2 arrives, it will just not feasable for me to keep my job.
The only way we wll survive will be to sell up (we only own 50% of our house and will never be able to afford to buy the rest of it) and apply for a council house. I know that things will still be tight but it's the only way we are going to manage.
Dh is being a total prick and keeps on about he is not going to move into a council house etc etc. but when I ask him what his suggestion is, lo and behold, he doesn't have one.
A few months ago he came up with 'you can get an evening job' which is a total crock as he can't even look after Ds for an hour with me in the house let alone a newborn aswell. He also thinks it's fair for me to have to look after 2 babies all day, then sod off to work till midnight, come home and then get up all night to 2 kids. (He 'doesn't hear' the baby in the night and has a 'physical job' as he likes to put it so can't possibly help at night)

I'm getting to the point where I could just walk out on him and get my own place. I'm constantly worried about it and I'm getting really stressed. He just keeps trying to ignore it. Atm my mum looks after Ds but her situation has changed and she needs to get a job herself. I think he thinks if we do nothing she will just look after no2 aswell.
He has no respect for her or anything she does for us and that pisses me off aswell.

Can someone suggest anything, or just say something as I am really upset about this. His stupid mother, whom I hate, just says to him 'ooh, you don't want to that' (council house) and 'don't go bankrupt'.

we manage by dh working nights.

Your dh sounds like an arse. Sorry if that is harsh.

So, you work atm but have to give up work when ds2 arrives, but then you can't afford to stay in your current house. Is that right?

tell him to f*ck off. Sorry but from your description he's being a selfish swine and you'd be better off without him.

how much have you researched the possibility of gettinga council house of the kind in the area that you want? just want to make sure you properly know what your options are before you identify the one that is best for you.

We moved from one end of the country to the other, from London back to Scotland (where we are from) so we could afford a decent sized house adn I don't need to work. The trade off is that I have conmpletely ruined my career and will have to retrain once I decide to return to work.

I think you need to both sit down and look where you can tighten your belts like no holidays for a few years, change electricity suppliers, look at ways of reducing your shopping bill etc also look at childcare options i.e. working families tax credit, employers nursery vouchers etc maybe by a combination of these things you might be able to work and keep your house.

I think you also need to discuss with your DH that he needs to give you more of a hand when not at work. With a newborn and a toddler you will be knackered (trust me I know) and you will need him to help out. For instance, my DH will get up if DD1 needs settling (which is rare) whilst I look after DD2 as she still needs nighttime BFs. If going out he will get one ready I get the other. You both need to pull together as it's tough enough.

Best of luck x

thats correct northener.

besides, you can't just apply for a council house and expect to get one when you have SO much savings from the sale/equity of your home. you're asked about your assets on the housing application form.

in our council at least, if you're going from a mortgage to rent, you're considered a 'mover' as opposed to a 'starter'. and good luck getting ANY council accommodation - b/c starters have priority and there are 157,000 on the wait lists.

how about buying a cheaper home - say, an ex-council one?

we swap shifts, too - i work a day job, DH nights and weekends.

we have two kids - dd1, age 3 and a 7 month old baby.

wish i had savings or equity. selling will clear the mortgage (just) and then i will have our personal debt left to pay.

i have applied and they say they can help once our house is sold and i have no interest in it anymore.

please be very careful and get some independant housing advice too. don't just rely on what the council say. The fact that they say they can help you may only mean they will stilck you on a waiting list for a zillion years, or offer you B&B as a homeless household whilst you wait another eternity for some nightmare high rise in an area nobody wants. Have you checked out the rents on council housing too? do you know exactly how much cheaper it will be? also, if you are current part ownership is there any option of selling your share back to the co-op/association or whatever that owns the other part and becoming a full renter with them?

exactly, vito. i'd be shocked if you got offered anything decent just for selling your house.

of course, they'll tell you how it works in theory, but the reality is you need to be completely homeless to be a priority in most councils.

i cant afford to be a full renter either.
basically i will get the bailiffs round or have to go bankrupt.

I would also stress that you must get independent housing advice (speaking as someone who workss in this field) before you take any decisions. in most areas families wait for months in appalling temporary housing conditions before being offered anywhere - to get priority at all you have to apply as homeless, and from what you say the council could decide you have made yourself intentionally homeless (legally speaking!) and so have no duty to help you. Go to the shelter website,at www.shelter.org.uk and find a local housing aid centre, or ring the helpline - do not rely on what the council say.I'm sorry - I know what it's like not to be able to make ends meet and I wish I could think of something more positive to say.

where do i get the advice from? citizens advice? i was told u have to wait months and months to see them and i dont have long left!

agree with littleshebear. use the shelter website. they also have a free 24 hour helpline

Selling up wont solve your problems - Youll have to wait eons for a council house and renting privately is likely to be more expensive than your mortgage anyway

Im nosily wondering how much your mortgage payments are per month - I envy you as although you are in a tricky spot right now at least you live in a house that you are investing in

Im about to move into a privately rented place - housing benefit and my money will be adding to my landlords bank account - I reckon most mortgage payments are cheaper than rent

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - FWIW your DH sounds like a petulant school boy!

I would also say - you can get free debt advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau,if you need this,(don't kow if it's appropriate in your case)and if you do this could enable you to stay where you are rather than move, by reducing your payments to any creditors. If you haven't already done so, do a list of income/expenditure and see if there's any leeway anywhere. Also check, through CAB, that you're claiming all the tax credits you're entitled to, and get them to calculate what you would be entitled to once the baby is born and if you give up work. The CAB, or someone at Shelter should also be able to go through all your housing options with you in an informed way. There are sometimes local schemes you can access - part-ownership through housing associations for example.
Sorry if this all seems very obvious and you've already thought of it -just trying to help as I know how panicky you must feel. We have really struggled financially over the last 4 years since my husband was made redundant just before I had a baby. Just gone back to work to try to get straight but I think we'll be paying off the debt accumulated over the last 4 years forever.