Going back to work 2 weeks after birth

[walkdowntheavenue]

I'm due a baby in late January, due to financial circumstances I have to return to work 2 weeks after the baby arrives. My job is complicated and while technically I work from home I only spend one afternoon per week at home working, the rest of the time I'm on the road at appointments etc.

Does anyone have any practical advice for dealing with post partum bleeding, breast feeding and the lack of sleep involved with a newborn, while working a mentally taxing job?

I just want to say that my suggestion that he look for ANY job was so that the OP didn't have to work! so they wouldn't have to find childcare.

or, at the very least so she could go part time.

she has ante-natal depression, their home is at risk, she's going to have to go back to a stressful job 2 weeks after giving birth... my feeling is that he ought to be looking for anything he can do to help this situation!

maybe there is a reason why he can't. but personally i'd be looking for ways around this situation, even extreme ways

What about renting out your house and then you renting a smaller, cheaper property? It would take the pressure off a little.

In your situation I'd personally just use formula, get your husband to do all night feeds and rest as much as possible in the two weeks you have off. I really wouldn't bother expressing, it means more time, less sleep and more stress for a lot of people. Good luck.

OP - it's doable, so don't stress. I started my part time masters at the LSE 2 weeks after having my second DC and went back to full time work 3 weeks after that (was a bit of a juggling act). And I had had a C-section to boot, and was 40 years old at the time with a 3 yo that never slept through the night. My job was very mentally taxing, too (as was the masters whcih took up all of my weekends).

Some things did slide. Breast feeding faded off after about 6 weeks as had huge problems expressing. House was a tip and didn't get tidied properly for a year or so, and my baby weight never came off, but it was ok.

Bleeding was not a problem (seemed to be heavy during night but not souring day) but lack of sleep sent me bonkers sometimes. I cheated and occasionally used modafinal which I got over the Internet - I probably used a tablet maybe once a week on the Thursday as would have run out of energy by then. Travel was painful for the first few weeks (c-sections and commuter trains are it a good combo).

The advantage you will have that I didn't is that your DH is not working. Therefore you MUST ensure that he does quite a few of the nights for you to enable you to rest.

Gosh what a difficult situation.

I have to say after my first dc was born, I couldn't sit for more than about 10 minutes for 2-3 weeks, as I was sore, and had a lot of lochia for a long time. There is no way I would have been physically fit enough to work at 2 weeks.

And I say that as someone who was living in one country, came back to uk for the birth, visited grandparents in another country at 5 weeks and packed up and moved back overseas before ds was 8 weeks.

5-6 weeks doable, 2 weeks very difficult physically. And ds was 2 weeks late.

I am not trying to be bringer of doom, but reality may not make this possible, which is why I think people are trying to suggest other things too.

In your 2 weeks plan to rest, rest, rest as much as you can to get fit, get some breastfeeding going and so on.
Do get dh to do night feeds once you start back to work, you said your family can't help financially, but can they do anything practical? Meals, shopping etc?

Sorry for delayed response.
DH is looking for work anywhere and everywhere and has been successful in getting a few days here and there doing manual jobs. He is very willing to clean toilets with a toothbrush if it means looking after his family and is utterly devastated at the turn of events. I have never seen anyone so desolate. Because of his qualifications he doesn't even get looked at for lots of jobs, he has applied everywhere, shelf stacking, fast food, box packing, delivery driver... there isn't an avenue he hasn't exhausted and he is changing up his cv to try minimise his experience where needed. This really isn't a bash the dh conversation because I know without a shadow of a doubt he would do anything for us and if something comes up in the meantime he will be the one out working while I'm home with baby.
He spends everyday following up leads and contacting old friends and colleagues looking for any sort of work. He has also taken on courses to broaden his scope of work but everytime he gets interviews they come back with the same thing, you're wonderful but overqualified/too much experience/you'll be bored/stifled/unhappy etc.

This scenario is entirely unexpected because we had an agreement with our mortgage provider, they reneged on this agreement with little notice. We had one week to come up with the means to top up our usual payment to the full amount. We did this and now the savings we had for baby things and to give some leeway when my income wasn't there is gone on mortgage payments.
We have asked for a 3 - 6 month grace period to allow us to sell our home without incurring the massive losses we would incur by doing it their way, this was refused. We asked for a grace period to allow me to have the baby and get back to work safely and again this has been refused.

I know it will be very difficult going back to work but I am sure people have been through worse things.

I really appreciate the practical advice re feeding, breast pads and introducing dh to other expectant parents.

2 weeks is same as standard paternity leave in UK. Your baby will be fine cared for by your DH. In your shoes, I would plan to ff. Give the baby colostrum for first few days after birth if that is important to you & then focus on getting you recovered & rested so you can return to work.
Good luck op, I hope you have a straightforward birth & recovery x

I knew many people who had to do this, or similar, in the US. It is difficult comparing it to others on this board, as the UK is super generous and I have found it gets very stressful comparing to others with much more time off, when many countries do not have similar traditions, and going back to work soon is much more acceptable. Have you considered going to a US-based website like BabyCenter where people will be less judgemental and you may find many more people who have been in this situation and survived it?

Good point made by Slems. Going back to work so early seems an alien concept to us in the UK but not so unusual elsewhere. My boss mentioned recently that she went back to work when her son was 6 weeks old and people were aghast. However it's just what she needed to do at the time (20-odd years ago) and he's a perfectly well-rounded adult now

If your salary can support all of you, and if your job involves drving to meetings, can dh come with you in the car/do the driving/take baby to park cafe while you in meeting,and give baby to you during breaks so you can bond or bf??? Not really trying to push bfing, more the bonding, and ffeeding will be easier in terms of your set up.