Still reeling from the shock!

[AnniDoesHaveDreams]

Just had two weeks off with stress, two days back at work thought I was having a back to work meeting which morphed into some form of 'disciplinary' meeting. All the notice I had was an email saying that some other issues would be discussed which I had no idea about.

Apparently for the last six months (yes six months!) I have been disruptive, badly behaved, rude, disrespectful and not working as hard as I could have. Yet no-one thought to mention there was a problem. Whilst I have been feeling bullied, harrassed and intimated by two work colleagues one of whom is my immediate boss.

I can't believe I didn't see this coming. I have worked there for 12 years and have never had a bad appraisal.

I have to give an answer on Monday about whether I am going to mend my ways or leave.

So not expecting this :(

Who was present at the meeting, OP? Sounds horrible.

Bumping for flowery and the other experts as I would have thought this is bad practice with such tight timelines but I don't know for sure.

Did they give you warning you were going to be in this meeting? Did you get the opportunity to take someone with you? Why haven't you had feedback before if you're behaviour is so bad? What are their disciplinary procedures, and how does that compare with what's generally thought to be good practice?

Are you a union member? If so, get on to them immediately. (Well, first thing in the morning.)

See www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=2179

On Monday, I'd be going to them, after reading up on disciplinary procedures and my rights, and I would

• definitely not resign
• ask them for the disciplinary procedures
• ask them why there has been no previous feedback, and mention your good appraisals
• ask them what evidence they have for each of the accusations And if they still haven't backed down by this point,
• ask them what training they would suggest to help you improve, e.g. courses in communications, team-building or things like that.

If you have been feeling harassed and intimidated, have you been keeping a diary of events at all, or can you bring up other evidence, such as emails, meeting minutes or anything? Print paper copies, in case they suspend your access.

They sound a bit clueless, so find out your rights and make sure you know as much as you can.

Thank you for your answers.

They know exactly what they are up to, I work for a large legal firm! They didn't call it a disciplinary meeting it was emailed to me as a back to work meeting.

There was a whole page of my supposed transgressions all of which contained a grain of truth but by no means a strict account of what has gone on and no I was not given the chance to take someone in with me. I was given the weekend to reflect on everything that had been said and to go back on Monday to sit down and work out how I was going to improve or tender my resignation.

However I cannot see how I can continue to work closely with two people (both Lawyers) who i have now lost trust and confidence in being honest with me but were instead prepared to make a formal complaint about me instead.

This all started as an altercation back in April, not by me I hasten to add and I am thing of lodging a formal complaint about how I feel quite bullied and intimidated.

My boss knows me quite well and I think she knows I would rather resign that continue after the things she has said about me. I still can't believe I was so blind!

Sorry should have said there was only me, the HR Manager any my immediate boss present -some back to work meeting that was! My anxiety levels have just gone though the roof again.

Just because they're a legal firm, it doesn't make them immune from bad practice or discriminatory or bullying behaviour. In theory, it should, but it isn't always do in practice.

I think it's definitely worth looking into your tights and so on, and considering what you would put in a formal complaint.

It isn't always do -> it doesn't always do

I think I might have to approach the Citizens Advice Bureau for some advice.

I had had a meeting the day before to raise some concerns that I had about returning to work regarding my boss and her colleague.

Apparently this is supposed to be addressed on Monday but I am not sure I can face another meeting to be honest. Thinking of going back to the Drs, I only went back to work Thursday to see how I coped and this all happened on the Friday :( :(

Print off and keep all the emails. Ask that they put everything in writing. I would go to work, I imagine they would be clapping their hands if you don't go back, don't make things easy for them, show you're committed etc and but for the behaviour of these 2 other people, you could and would perform at your normal high level. Good luck.

Get advice. I can recommend a London firm. Pm me if want. I've used them 3 times. Excellent.

Sorry this is a bit late but second what PP said about law firms not necessarily following correct procedure. In fact it sounds like they arw deliberately not invoking formal procedures in the hope that they can pressurise you into resigning without them having to justify themselves. Lawyers are often very bad at dealing with colleagues constructively and firms are old hands at dirty tricks campaigns to make their lives easier - and I say this as a central London lawyer. ..

I would express surprise and disappointment that matters have been allowed to get this far, and ask for formal confirmation of whether these are disciplinary procedings and if not, what basis they think they have to require you to depart.

Thank you for the post MrsM.

Sad to say that after the weekend I was so demoralised that an A4 page of my transgressions were treated as fact without any right of reply from me apart from what I managed to respond to on the day that I could not imagine continuing to work for said person. I could not stand the thought of being monitored for the next three months to see if I improved so I resigned on Monday.

Would have believe that after being told what a disruptive person I had been for six months on Friday I have suddenly turned into one of the most productive secretaries they have. Then my immediate boss turned round and thanked me for all the years of support I had been to her!

Difficult telling my colleagues that I am leaving, some broke down in tears which was nice in a sad sort of way. Oh well time to move on. I have a nice 5 page letter which I will leave as a parting gift telling them about the bullying and loss of trust and confidence. I shall still be an employee as I will be taking holiday at the end of the notice period so they will have to deal with it in my absence.

I may well have to PM Minnie and the address of those London Solicitors!

Thanks everyone