Men and women with children and climbing the corporate ladder

[CookieDoughKid]

I read this at my workplace recently in an article:

Work/life and family debate
From McKinsey April 2012 a Survey performed by Sylvia Ann Hewlett confirmed the higher women climb up the corporate ladder the fewer children they have whereas the reverse is true for men. In the 41 to 55 age range, 49% of the best paid women are childless. While only 19% of the best paid men in the same bracket are childless.

IMO - I think it's because women still bear the brunt of the housework and childcare which makes it much harder to focus and give our time to our careers.

Why do you think?
Note - I'm not a journalist and am a regular mumsnet poster

I think whether we do bear the brunt of childcare/housework or not (and not sure that's always true - either that or my DH is abnormally helpful!), it's perceptions that make more of a difference. I'm regularly made to feel like a bad mother for working full time - either by posters on here who suggest we should all be having family tea at 5pm (er, sorry, not possible with a commute into London) or through people saying things along the lines of "but don't you wish Mr. Slev earned more money so you could go part time?" (actually, no, I like working - most of the time).

So much as I hate bowing to peer pressure, I find myself leaving earlier than childless colleagues so that I can get closer to society's ideal of what a good mother should be. And actually I don't think it's impacted too much on my career, I'm in a more senior position than a number of my childless friends - just depends on your ability and work ethic really.

I will be outearning my dh soon as I am going from management to social work. I work more hours than dh at the moment. My career is a massive focus for me, but it still ties in to family as we are having 4 children and that wouldnt be possible if I wasnt working so hard.

I care about work significantly more than dh. I am not going to be the highest paid person ever, but I suppose we are different as I am so career focused and have children. I am currently working 50 hours a week and dont find it detrimental to family life at all.

Yes, I do agree re child care etc. I earn much more than my ex, and when we were together, and now we're split up I would say that I do 80% of child type duties, including sorting out childcare and picking them up if they're ill, and taking time off when there are strikes at school etc.

It depends on the man of course; there are many who do their fair share and more.

But as a society we are still not there with equality. At my work for example 9/10 of the board are male. It's a culture which is very macho- you have to be able to demonstrate your commitment by the unsocial hours you're able to work. And for many women they neither aspire to this, nor are able to compete; even if they're more capable than many of their male peers.

Did the survey show any difference in earning potential for men with children and men without? A literal reading of that first quote implies that the more children men have the better their career prospects are - possibly more motivated to be out of the house for longer hours?!

I have the double-whammy of being a parent and a carer, both of which significantly affect my ability to perform work during office hours, requiring me to make time up pretty much all the time at weekends and in the evening. I don't really mind the irregular hours, I suspect if I did I would try harder to make the days more regular.

There are a number of reasons why I haven't been promoted in the last few years, of which gender is one, but in a very subtle 'you're not one of us' kind of way which encompasses many of the men in the organisation as well. It's an immediate strike, though - I can't become 'one of them' ever, whereas some of the men who've been sidelined probably could, if they wanted to.

I would find things a lot easier if DH were able to pick up the domestic slack, which he can't not because of his glittering career but because he's too ill to work, and thus by definition can't manage the house either. Interestingly, though, I work in a team where virtually every member has young children (babies to key stage 1 in the main, whereas my ds is 8 now). They are all men and all of them have a wife who is a SAHM. Yet all of them do a share (whether it is really 'their' share I guess is for them and their wives to decide) of days off due to illness, hospital visits, getting home early because the wives have gone away for the weekend, school plays, and so on. One does the school run in the morning like I do, so we both get quite late (just after 09:30). It all makes it a lot easier for me not to stand out quite so much as being 'different'.

Maternity leave and not being present at work is the first hit. You lose contact with people at work and contacts outside. Others step into some of your role and it is not easy or possible to get those responsibilities back. Then part time work compounds this, with shortened hours meaning less responsibility and involvement. With 2 pregnancies (12 months leave each) plus part time hours of 75% of previous full time AND not being able to socialise means my influence at work is considerably less than pre-dc. :(
Add in other things like boss/colleague changes and a couple of babies can wipe out years of hard work and promotion prospects. I can't be alone in this....

Hi tricot. I'd agree with you. I think the trajectory of my career has definitely stalled due to similar circumstances. I also think there is more employers can do to support working parents!!