Any advice starting work tomorrow,dreading leaving dd.

[me23]

Hi, I start my new job tomorrow. It will be the first time I have left dd 1 year, with anyone (shes going to a childminder)
I'm really excited about starting work but the thought of leaving dd is churning me up. what if she is really upset and thinks I've abandoned her, I'm so worried.
how did you all cope please help me feel better aboutit!
thanks.

try not to worry. I felt like that when ds1 went to the childminder. It only natural. My Childminder is a star and ds1 loves her to bits. Has dd bee to stay at the child minder in the run up to you returning to work

I know exactly how you feel! I was the same and worried myself sick over my "abandoned" ds. Someone told me that "he will be fine, it's you that needs the support" and they were right. I felt really wobbly for the first few days but made sure I could talk to someone at work or phone someone if I really needed to. I got stuck into work which helped and very quickly it got better.

When I was still on maternity leave I could only imagine it as me leaving ds but once I was actually at work, I had lots of other things to think about. I work part time Tues - Fri and still feel sad on Mondays knowing that I won't see him properly until the weekend but I know he has a great time at the CMs and I now view her as the third key adult in his life after me and dh.

Try and look forward to the good things about work - brain food, hot coffee and conversations with grown ups!! Apparently it takes us 90 days to adjust to a new situation so give yourself a while to get used to your new circumstances. And finally, best of luck!!

thankyou both, it's nice to hear I'm not alone in this. dd has stayed with the cm for 1 hour last week and she didn't even notice I wasn't there but it will be 7 hours 4 days a week, so I'm worried how she and I will cope. I hope it is only me that finds it hard and dd takes it in her stride.
90 days to adjust beansprout! can't bear it that long lol

It won't take that long, I promise!! You will feel better by this time next week - promise! Also, if she cries when you leave, she will be ok within a few minutes. If she does cry and it upsets you (and that really is the hardest bit of all) then ask your CM if you can call to see if she is ok later on. Any decent CM will not mind.

they cope better than us

thanks I hope they do! good idea about asking cm if I can call, will do that to put my mind at ease.
god it's horrible isn't it taking the first steps.
I will report back after work tomorrow and letu know how upset I was lol.

I am a childminder and when I get a new mindee starting I make sure that for the first few days I plan activities for other mindees that give me time to give lots of attention to new child. I use lots of distraction when I see bottom lip start to wobble which works very well. I also usually sent a text to parent to let them know how things are going part way through day (it's not always easy to answer the phone so might be good idea what is the best time is to phone).
Good luck and I am sure your dd will be fine.

hi, thnaks for that post feelingold, DD seemed toget on well, the cm said she was fine although she didn't eat her lunch but she had a nap and didn't really cry.
so i'm very relieved, tbh work was so busy (have so much to take in) I didn't have any time to worry too much about dd. Am glad I was so busy,
lets hope she is fine tomorrow too!

Don't be surprised if she does cry a little tomorrow when she realises she is going to be left again, this is quite normal, but she will get used to it in time and will realise you will be coming back for her.
I always give mindees a 1 month settling in period where if parents or myself feel child doesn't like me or won't settle we can end agreement without the usual 4 weeks notice but have never had to use it, some take more time to settle than others but they do settle given time and lots of cuddles.

Hi, just an update been back at work 10 days now and I am loving it and dd is having a great time at cm she is always full of smiles. The cm says she is happy and full of life when she is there. So (touch wood) looks like things have turned out good!
Except! another one year old that has been there before dd is a bit jealous of dd turning up and cm said the other baby has been very clingy and moany since dd started but I guess the baby needs a bit of time to adjust to the new situation.