After dd1 I went back to work 4 days a week (5 Weeks holiday a year), then after 6 months my team was made redundant and I got a job in a school. Less pay and working 5 days a Week but shorter days and 12 Weeks holiday. The year before dd1 started school I had dtds so had a year at home and she did her 15 hours a week free nursery place. When dtds were a year old I went back to work 12 hours a week term time only and mostly from home. Child care was simply more than I earned.
Anyway, they are now 2 and a job has come up at work that I want - it's full time (school hours) term time only. With childcare costs my take home wouldn't be much for the first year but then dtds will get their free 15 hours, then school, and I'll have a job I enjoy that allows me to spend holidays with DC. All sensible, and I do feel I'd like to be in work properly again.
But, I feel stupidly guilty at leaving dtds (even though I was fine with it with dd1), probably because even though money is tight we can afford for me to be a sahm. People keep saying I should cherish these years and dds are so much fun i'm terrified I'll regret missing out on so much. I'm so torn and can't figure out how I feel.
No idea how you can help with this but any experiences welcome.