I really need some help

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

I am 30, been a SAHM FT for two years, worked sporadically as a Theatre Director (only earning when assisting) for 5years previous to that, supplemented by various crap temp jobs in admin.

2DC, no plans for more, youngest is nearly 2. We live abroad, I'm currently on a non working spousal visa but should have an unrestricted working visa by the end of the year.

I have no idea what happened to my life, I have no career, no real transferable skills, no money to retrain, I am utterly financially dependant, against all my principles and wishes. I have no idea where to start

Feeling very lost and need to start being positive in order to make some inroads into having an actual career and not coasting for the rest of my life. We're ok for money but any job I did wouldn't have to cover the childcare costs incurred as we don't have that extra. I'd be prepared to only earn enough to cover this, so long as working doesn't put us out of pocket (tbh which has always been the case since having DC) with the long view that eventually I'd be earning more.

My degree is basically useless (BA in drama and English from a top university).

Where do you start! Literally writing a list of the jobs you'd like to do then start researching how to get them?! Need a kick up the bum and some kind words simultaneously as I feel I've failed totally....

Sorry would have to cover childcare costs

Also I live in USA where no free childcare til they start school aged 5 (another year to go for DC1) and the school day ends between 12-1....

I assume you live with your children's father or co-parent? You are both responsible for your children so equally responsible for childcare - both paying for it and the logistics of using it.

It's likely that you do have valuable transferable skills but you have to believe in them and yourself. Many people have very rewarding careers based on admin so if that's the bulk of what you've done before then maybe focus on this area to start. I have seen people progress very quickly from admin assistant or receptionist to more responsible roles. Perhaps your theatre experience would help you get a role in arts admin which can be very interesting although not especialy lucrative. But it's a sector where who you know is very important and admin people can forge great relationships with influential people.

If you don't value your skills and experience no one elsewill so I really recomment trying to think more positively about yourself and reflecting on what you have achieved in the past.

What about teaching /drama coaching?
Do the USA do I year teaching qualification that can be done whilst working for a year within a school?

Was called the graduate teacher programme here in England (GTP).

Thanks both for the early hours responses... craving that was a great mix of bollocking and support!

I really don't have any faith in my abilities at all. I do as a theatre director but that waxes and wanes tbh. I have no idea what transferable skills I have aside from being a good people manager.

My admin experience (aside from founding and running a fringe theatre company in London) all finished when DS was born - wasn't any point doing a low paid job I hated just to cover the costs of childcare any more.

I'd consider teaching for sure, with older children, but we don't have the cash for additional training.

Currently I have one day a week when I don't have either child (they're both in daycare) so I can look up volunteer opportunities to do on that one day a week.

Of course we have shared responsibility for childcare, but DH's wage already covers everything we spend in our lives (I bring in no money whatsoever) and this already includes 3x week preschool for DS and 1 day week daycare for DD. there just isn't room in our incomings to cover additional childcare costs so any job I was to do that would incur more childcare would have to cover those costs.

I'm fortunate that I don't necessarily need a highly lucrative career, but I do need a career of sorts, something that I am passionate about and can have as my focus, I was never suited to being a SAHM and certainly wouldn't want to be one forever. I am of course terrified if being financially dependant on another and of being a bad role model for my DC

I just look at all the current graduates, my degree was 8years ago, I have no real workplace experience, I am not entirely flexible due to DC. I some ways I know 30 is relatively young and others have major career changes older than this, but I feel horribly past it as well...

I can't offer much in the way of suggestions, because I'm in the same boat myself, only different useless degree from good uni, we move every 2-4 years and am 34. Wanted to say that I totally understand how worthless it can all make you feel in the working world. I try to think of the age thing the other way around: there is a good 30 years before I hit retirement age, so whatever I will do, there's still a lot of time to get good at it. I don't know - or really value - the transferable skills I have, but if I look back to how I'd do things just after uni, the life experience certainly makes me think differently (more maturely) about situations.

I don't know if you'd want/be eligible for a loan given your visa status, but would it be possible to do some kind of fast track teaching diploma with a loan and the view that it could be paid off over your working life? That may be a v silly idea, sorry if so. As a student you might get some kind of childcare help via the uni?

Regardless, I know it's a crap situation, so have some??and ??with me!
.

What about working for an events company? Events can be a lot like theatre - lights, staging, theming etc plus using your admin skills and they are often at evenings and weekends making childcare easier?

Think weddings, corporate parties and functions, private parties (engagements, landmark birthdays, anniversaries etc)

You could even run your own company? Source suppliers, set up a website, attend local wedding fairs, send packs to local business PA's and bingo you're in business!

Hi, I am in the same boat, useless degree from a good uni, career wise things never took off and I worked in admin. Admin job although reasonably paid for admin would not cover childcare costs for 2 in London, currently a SAHM.

Don't be too hard on yourself! Think about all the things you have achieved, a great degree which I assume you enjoyed studying at the time, 2 kids by the age of 30 (there will be loads of career women who will be jealous of that as they rush to try and start a family later on), you have experience of living abroad.

I also hate that I am now financially dependent, but try not to let it get me down. Looking after your children is an extremely important contribution to your household. I have kind of accepted that I will not be able to really do much career wise till the younger one is in school. I have just taken a job in a supermarket on Saturdays and one evening a week so there are no childcare costs. I have not started yet, but I am kind of looking forward to it as I think it will be a lot easier than looking after 2 kids so will be treating it as my day off .

Either look at volunteering you can do on your day a week off that will help you get into something a couple of years time when both kids are in school, eg in a school if you are interested in teaching, or if you really hate not earning any money, is there any job you could do one day a week, not necessarily a career job?

I have not ticked the career box I thought I would have ticked in life but have ticked a lot of others. These days people's careers are going to chop and change a lot more in their lifetimes than in our parents generation, so there is still plenty of time :)

If you plan to return to the UK in a couple of years time or so, you could do the GTP teacher training. You work in a school and receive a salary so you do not have to pay for the training. That could be something to focus on and look forward to.