High flying demanding career or regular job?

[senorita81]

Hi, I have no children but me and my boyfriend are planning to try for a baby in about a years time. I recently left my last job due to stress and depression as it was long hours and demanding, so now I am unemployed, I obviously do want to work, but at the moment, my dream and priority is to have a child, I just don't know if theres any point in getting another demanding career type job when I plan to get pregnant soon enough. Should I just get a regular, part-time job that will be more family friendly? It won't be easy living with less money but I will have to learn to cope.
Also, my priorities have changed now, a year ago, I hadn't met my boyfriend, so my focus was on career etc, then I met him, we moved in together and I'm now keen to start a family (I'm 32)
But somehow I feel like I should have a great job/promising career rather than a family friendly job with no pressures, due to social pressure. Has anyone else felt like this? Any opinions would be welcome.

It's not an either/or situation - there can be a middle ground between high-flying, pressurised career and part-time work with no demands. Lots of people have satisfying jobs with a good salary, responsibility and chances of promotion but manage to do this within generally regular hours and while still having time for family and life outside work.

If, however, you left your last role because of stress and depression what would be different if you went back to a similar role? What has changed which would prevent a recurrence of those issues?

Something else to consider is what happens if you don't fall pregnant this year or next year or for 5 years or ever? Have you considered this in your decision-making process?

Goodness, if you are thinking if TTC in a year them even if you get pregnant quickly it will be best part of 2 years before you will be on maternity leave. So if you want to continue your career in whatever hou want then then there is no need to go for something less demanding for r sake of family friendliness now - you can always do that later.

What was your previous job and what skills do you have to potentially do something else? What do you enjoy doing? If you have suffered stress and depression then I think finding a job/career you enjoy is the most important - as long as you are happy with how much you can earn from it also (you don't want further stresses re money). It's important to get the balance.

There are lots of options to consider. I have a friend who is now married into military life so moves every 2 years, she is a PA. I set up my own company and work from home (and in face can offer suggestions for similar projects if you ever wanted to do the same). Working freelance specialising in a particular skill could earn you a decent amount over time I'm sure and would give you the flexibility for whatever happens in the future with family.

Good luck.

Thanks a lot for the feedback, I worked in recruitment so I had long hours and targets to meet, I actually left my job 2 days ago! In terms of skills, I would love to do something freelance or working from home, but I don't know what, I thought about childminding as I love kids, I also love writing and I did Spanish at uni, I've really no idea what I could do. I'm not working now, to be honest, I find full time work, Mon to Fri, 9 to 6 exhausting, so something part-time would be great!

Ps. Helena, that sounds really interesting, would be really keen to know about your company and how you got things going!

if you enjoyed the actual work of recruiting but not the hours you could always do this on a part time basis (I've come across several recruitment consultants recently who work part time) or could you set up your own consultancy with other agents who are disgruntled with the demands of targets?

Another option would be to join an HR department in an organisation - less demands as no targets to achieve as such but can also be done on a P/T basis.

Childminding would require additional training and involves alot of paperwork and can be stressful in a different way (you are looking after otherpeoples children after all!).

I'm sure you could find some translating work with your Spanish (which can often be done at home) or how about tutoring?

Good luck with whatever you choose.

I would just go for work you want, and don't consider the potential future family. It's a couple of years off, and once you're in a job, you're in a much better position to go part time / work flexible hours than if you look for that now. If you want to set up your own business / go self employed, make a start asap so that it's established by the time you go on maternity leave. I would try to work full time (not necessarily long hours / stressful) for the time being to save money, because babies don't come cheap!

If you find full time work exhausting, a baby might be a bit of shock as it is a 24/7 job. I would say it is worth seeing your GP to see if there is any underlying cause to tiredness/depression. In my experience, the higher on the career ladder you are the more potential there is for flexibility. If you haven't started to TTC yet, I would go all out for earning the best money you can and getting the best maternity conditions.

I would say working full time in a demanding job is a walk in the park compared with balancing work outside the home and looking after children so if you are having problems dealing with work, as Portofino says, I would address those first. Of course, one person's 'demanding career' is someone else's 'regular job'; I would call a demanding career one that involves lots of international travel, crazy hours, weekend commitments, evening entertaining etc. etc. not a 9-6 job, that's pretty normal.