Tell me how to juggle it all please

[CircassianLeyla]

I have a new job that is beginning as part time and will go full time in the next few months. I haven't worked full time for 5 years but have been working various configurations of part time.

Just trying to get prepared from now really whilst I have the flexibility to ensure a smooth transition etc.

So I will have:-

• work which is a high level support role;
• part time university in an academic subject with lots of reading;
• volunteer position that requires attendance at approx. 3-4 meetings per term and reading of significant
• cleaning, washing etc;
• dinner/cooking
• DC being able to do extra curricular stuff;
• just being mum and hanging with DC without all of the above causing them to be upset in any way.

We have not had any spare money for the past 6 months and DC are aware that me working FT will change our quality of life and allow us to buy our flat and a house eventually.

For the first year getting a cleaner etc is not going to be possible due to clearing some debt (substantial but not huge), buying our flat, having nursery costs and decorating (nothing has been touched for 10 years apart from DC room.

My priorities are DC (7, 5 and 2) and then my degree.

DH works in a management position where he currently has a couple of week days off and works late one day. He always cooks in his day off and will Hoover/mop.

All tips gratefully received.

I think the first thing that I'd do in your position is to resign from the voluntary role.
Then I'd look at the DCs extra curricular stuff, and see if you can reduce those or shuffle them so that your dh can take them on his day off.

Then sit down with dh and talk about how the both of you will manage this transition - meal planning, shopping, any activities the two of you do (and consider cutting those back for at least a few months to settle down), expectations of each other etc.

Will you get a lunch hour in this role? If so, maybe you could eat your lunch at your desk and do some uni work each day there.

I dont think that sounds too bad. You only have the volunteer thing a couple of times a term so that wont make much difference if you want to continue with it. Once you get started you will be fine.

As luck would have it the two activities they currently have are on DH day off, but there is one or two extras that they would like and I would expect I would do those at the weekend. Perhaps I will put them on the back burner though until the new year and we are all settled.

I am inclined to agree wrt the voluntary role.

I would be prepared to lower your standard re: chores, and involve the kids where you can. It's a shame you can't manage a cleaner.

I read on here yesterday about a family who have Sunday evening meetings to make sure everyone knows where they need to be, arrange dinner money and PE kits, sort pickups and drop offs etc. sounds like a good idea for you.

I love the idea of the Sunday night meeting.

Tbh my standards are pretty low as a SAHM when I can tidy or clean when I want. The cleaner will definitely be forthcoming once we have got past the first year - although tbh I am wondering if a laundry service might be more useful, do they even exist? We have three boys and the washing we generate is ridiculous. I don't have a tumble dryer so that might be one of my first purchases.

We do have a tumble drier, but when it can't go outside, most of our washing is dried over a dehumidfier. By using an X airer and a Hangaway, I can hang 3 or 4 loads to dry at a time, and by hanging stuff on hangers you really minimise ironing and its easier to put away too.

If you do the long wash over night, and on during the day (for really dirty things), then you can get a couple of quick washes done in the evening, and that keeps on top of it.

And remember - its not you that doesn't have a tumble drier, its we. I used to work with a single dad who reckoned the measure of equality in a relationship was putting washing away, packed lunches, and childrens birthday parties (taking them, organising, and buying presents), and I think thats really true.