Need urgent help willing to pay

[facebookaddictno40]

to cnfidential and upsetting for internet is there anyone here i can phone

If you give some brief details of what it is about on here, I will try and help? x

Yes, of course someone will give a random on the Internet their number with no given reason.

messaged you

Ive pmd coconut and I was sort of assuming that some of the HR advisors on here actually run HR consultancies where they are paid for doing business, so I was hoping to find one of them. I am not exactly in the best place at the moment, so I am not quite thinking straight.

Hi FBA,

I got your pm.

I would suggest not worrying about the employment situation too much at the moment, the priority is getting your husband urgent medical attention. Take him to his GP or A&E so he can get some help.

Sorry but people will be unable to really help any further on here, you need to speak to his Union or a Solicitor to get proper advice, once he is safe and well.

Take Care x

done that - he has already been to the doctor and is home with me - work have been informed of the situation and don't actually care they think he should still go to their stupid meeting, I have told them he wont be there

also tried to speak to union and informed them of situation, they at the last count havent rung back for 2.5 days

OK that's good that he is safe with you.

Make sure you send, receive and keep copies of everything in writing, and keep on at the Union to help.

See a Solicitor if you need to, but be aware if the Union find out they will withdraw their help, but if you feel they are not helping then...

Your husbands employer can proceed in his absence, however they may decide to wait until he can attend, you have a reasonable reason, with evidence for this (from his Doctor) and could use that as a mitigating circumstance also.

What type of meeting do they want him to attend?

Is it a disciplinary or an investigation?

Has your husband been seen by Occupational Health?

It appears to be a combination of both - my argument with their head of HR is they already know how much stress he was under, they should have been aware that in these circumstances clearly an employees performance etc may be affected

Its investigative, but no HR rep was going, but the letter said it may lead to instant dismissal.

If he had taken the advice given to him by doctor, myself, counsellor, t therapist, etc, he would not have been in work for anything to happen and although he has stuffed up - in the circumstances that is not surprising and to take such a heavy handed approach in such traumatic circumstances is not appropriate

Nor am I happy for such distressing and confidential information, including personal documentation of mine, to be handed over to people my husband sees on a daily basis

No - they offered occupational health in their letter, but when he tried to access it this morning, they werent able to let him see them until post the meeting

Will wait for union cant afford a solicitor anyway

It sounds like they are a fairly large employer, and they are not following their own procedures - again another point against them.

Can you get in touch with their Occupational Health Department and refer him for an urgent Stress Risk Assessment?

OH may be willing to write to his manager (more evidence) and also refer him for counselling.

I am thinking if he acts quickly now to show remorse and plead mitigating circumstances (of which there appear to be many!) he may be able to argue for action short of dismissal, as it seems that is what they are trying to go for.

Request (in writing) a postponement of the meeting for one week, and request that he be accompanied as he needs support at the moment. They would be unreasonable to refuse (dosen't mean they won't of course, but again this strengthens your case, if you need to appeal later).

By the way, as i'm sure you know, the union should be doing all of this.

OK, cross posted, if you can get the meeting delayed, would that give him time to get an OH appointment? I suggest getting one asap anyway for your husband, to get the ball rolling so to speak. The employer has a duty of care to him, whatever he is alleged to have done.

You could also start to gather reports from anyone else he has seen recently, as this will support what you are saying.

I've offered them a pack of written documentation to explain the mitigating circumstances, I've left a message with the union, Ill drop his sick note off tomorrow.

I'm going to offer to "pay" back any time they feel he misappropriated and I am going to ensure DH gets all the help he needs and should have had over the last 19 months. There is no concern about content etc.

I myself had a complete breakdown last year, and DH went to work, while I was literally on my knees begging him not to go and leave me, because he didn't want to let them down.

He may not have done the absolute best job in the world, but he has absolutely done his utmost to keep going for everyone, in my opinion putting his work life over and above his family.

They are a blue chip company and they should hang their heads in shame - because the traumatic circumstances are so upsetting and no-one knew what to say, the left him to rot at his desk, my employer sent me home, offered support and told me to stay there as long as necessary,

Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of supporting him, and you are on the right track, I hope it all works out for you both and he is feeling better soon. Take Care and let us know how you get on xx

Thank you - Im going to get the pack together, write out a draft letter and arrange to meet with union guy tomorrow.

They may wish to only deal with one aspect of this but I don't see how they can really, they have fundamentally failed in their duty of care as his employer, thankfully, I have had my own employer to show me exactly how a caring employer handles things.

No-one has ever asked him "how are you today". Their own embarrassment has prevented them from offering him support.

The contrast could not be greater.

They sound like an arrogant nightmare to deal with, duty of care is a legal requirement and as long as you have sound evidence, they are on shaky ground, especially as they are a high profile company, and they won't be wanting any bad publicity