Working full time - anyone willing to share advice/experiences?

[PumpkinPie2013]

Hi everyone

I'm planning quite far ahead here but would really appreciate any advice/experiences from others

I'm 26 and 23+4 weeks pg with our first dc yay! Both me and my husband work full time in education. Generally we work from 8am-4.30pm. He occasionally has to work an evening (e.g. parents eve) as do I but it's not very often at all.

I start my maternity leave in Oct (baby due end of Nov) and intend to return to work at the start of the academic year in 2014.

I enjoy my job which is a bonus however I did consider going back p/t. However, having done the maths this really won't be an option

I worked out that we would be better off financially for me to return full time even when including nursery fees (we have no family to help with childcare due to their work commitments). If I went p/t we would struggle and DH earns more than I do so not an option for him to be p/t.

We are fortunate that we can live comfortably on our earnings, pay the bills etc. We are not entitled to any WTC or CTC which is fair enough.

So result is we will both be working full time during term time and dc will go to nursery (thankfully there are a number of excellent ones near us).

I guess my question is how do other parents who work full time manage the situation? Our hours are good compared to many and DH is pretty good at home but at present I can't imagine full time work, spending time with dc in eves and at weekends plus doing housework, shopping, cooking, ironing etc??? I'm actually considering sending the ironing out to be done

I'm probably being dim here but please share your tips/advice for me and anyone else out there

I teach full time as have a 2.5 yo. I am pg so starting ml in September, but when I returned ft after my first mat leave I found it to be manageable. I also studied
Part time for a masters, and it was hard but fine. I know it is a cliche but having dc did make me better/
more efficient/ better at prioritising etc.

Some things that have helped me are:

Short commute (10/15mins) nursery 5 mins from home.

Exceptionally supportive dh who doesn't just "help" but actually pulls his weight in terms of sharing child care, cooking, etc.

Cleaner and yes outsource ironing if you have to.

My ds was a terrible Sleeper and so cosleeping saved me when I went back. I also bf until he was 18mo
Which I think helped me feel connected even when I was back at work.

Supportive colleagues and family.

I can be home by 4.30 generally and then spend 3 hours with ds then do any work after he has
Gone to bed. But at at times
Early nights are essential too!

Good luck!

Some things that

We both work ft.share the drop off,pick ups
Wall planner and shared diary of appts,any parties etc.know if any late meetings etc
Project all annual leave,work at home on planner and plan who off for what
Batch cook meals and freeze portions,this last @6wk
Cleaner
Dh Shirts ironed externally,other stuff we do our own individual ironing
Internet grocery and mainly click and collect or online shopping
Lay out all mine and dc clothes in advance for the week
Make lunches night before

It works with precise planning.

Use your lunchbreak for home stuff - doesn't have to be everyday. I do stuff like:
Dealing with personal mail and shredding it.
Renewing insurances
Writing shopping lists
Online shopping of things we need
Paying bills
If I drove, I'd probably do the food shop.

All bills on direct debit,easy no hassle

Get a cleaner!

Grocery shopping on line.

DH to actually pull his weight not just help. Give him tasks to do and leave him to mess them up,learn to do them properly and then add to his list . This is harder than it sounds because logically you will end up doing most of the chores on maternity leave as you are at home.

and you do just have less time when you have a child. My NCT teacher had some stats about how you get 45 minutes a day together as a couple with a small baby in the home. My D Sis was shown the same chart inHolland when she was pg and didn't believe it. We told her it was less than that.....

We work roughly 8am-6/7pm

• get a cleaner
• do all grocery shopping online
• organise mornings and Eve's between you. Ie we have 1 hrs in mornings to get all up, x2 toddlers ready and all out house. Each person knows what to do what, ie I will go and make breakfast for everyone whilst dh quickly showers himself and toddlers.
• everything is laid out night before. So everyone's clothes, toddlers bags if off to nursery

-we also get children to nap every afternoon ( and you can just ask nursery to get them to), so that we aren't in a hurry for bed in the evening. As without nap they would be tired and miserable from 5/6pm. But with 2 hr nap they go to bed 8.30/9pm after we eat/ play etc together.

Organisation, organisation, organisation

Get everything ready the night before so that all you need to do is shower, dress, grab bag and go. When I first went back to work I used to shower while then 9mo DD sat on the bathroom floor and drank her milk and watched me! That one really helped, actually, killing two birds with one stone. But you need to make sure there is nothing to actually think about in the mornings.

Yes to using your lunchbreak to do home stuff or, if there's nothing that needs doing, taking an hour to yourself. Part of going back to work is struggling to find any "me" time, so squash it in where you can. I spend about an hour and a half a day on a train, but I get a seat so that's my "me" time with a book or catching up on emails.

Be busier in the weekday evenings than you probably want to be. An extra half an hour sorting the washing etc on a weekday evening gives you back half an hour at the weekend with your DC.

Get a cleaner if you can afford it, even if it is only once a fortnight to do the deeper cleaning (bathroom, kitchen, floor mopping etc). If you can outsource the ironing without noticing the money too much then do it!

Batch cook where you can, or plan quicker and easier meals. If you're both going to be at home in the evening then work out what needs to be done and divide and conquer - someone starts dinner while the other baths the DC, then you swap over for bedtime, that sort of thing.

Oh, and get a calendar which says EVERYTHING on it, and stick to the rule that if a night out isn't on the calendar, it's not happening!

In terms of back-up and family support, do you have anyone near enough to be an emergency contact? If not, don't be afraid to ask the friends you make during maternity leave, they'll understand. You'll probably never need them but it's a reassurance to have the number of a SAHM your DC knows just in case that 1/1000 worst case scenario happens. In a year we've never had to call a favour from a friend but I feel better knowing there are people in our town who would help out.

Lastly, be kind to yourself those first few months back at work - it's a massive change, it feels such a struggle, but you just need to give all of you time to settle in to the new routine.

I've worked full time since DS was 3 months old (not through choice, but necessity )He's now 5.5 and going into year one in September.

The first 2 years of his life I did everything alone (house childcare etc) as XH was not helpful hence the X He know has DS two days a week, so that helps.

It was tough, and I was tired. YY to what PP said about using your lunch break to do personal admin etc.

Get everything ready the night before, and get into a routine, I can now shower, dress, make up, blowdry, coffee and get DS ready in 40 minutes.

Luckily my sister is a cleaner, so she comes in once a week for two hours, my dads taken over my garden as his own as he enjoys it, so that helps! And none of my clothes need ironing!

Also batch cook! I'm out the house 7-7, DS eats at my mums, i pick him up at 7, then I play for half and hour, bath, story, bedtime by 8, so it's just me to eat. I make 3 weeks worth of stuff at a time and frezze, takes 5 mins to heat up and minimal washing up.

Good luck!

Oh, YYY to clothes that don't need ironing. If you're getting new clothes when you go back to work, choose clothes that match a lot - so you can quickly replace something when they've wiped toothpaste over your trousers - and which don't need much looking after. I have about 8 dresses and cardigans which pretty much all go together. Also, having 8 means bar any dirt, I can dress myself for a good fortnight without doing any washing if things slip in the house. Ditto for DC's clothes, especially when they are in childcare - lots of cheap supermarket or second-hand clothes that all go together.

Thanks so much for all of the tips/advice I'm pretty good at getting things ready the night before e.g. clothes, lunches etc and we have a certain place to keep the car keys, purses/wallets and our work ID badges so we're not hunting for them every morning.

DH always loads the dishwasher at night and then unloads when he gets up while he makes us a cup of tea. I shower/dress while he does this . He showers after we've had breakfast.

So mornings are pretty good and can be adapted for when baby is here

We could probably afford a cleaner perhaps once a fortnight so I'll definitely look into that as it would be good to have someone do a deep clean for us.

I work in town centre so can use my lunch for bank etc.rather than doing what I do now (chatting to colleagues and going on the internet).

I'll also return to online shopping (I hate supermarkets!) I did it for a while after I was in a bad accident and then stopped for some reason so I'll reinstate that!

We do have people who can be emergency contact for us so we are lucky in that respect

All in all I'm sure we can make it work by being organised and outsourcing where possible

Thanks everyone!