Would you take this job? (long, sorry)

[joshandjamie]

I used to have a pretty amazing career, fairly senior earning a salary of about £60k. That was ten years ago. Once I had kids I decided I needed flexibility so started freelancing and then set up my own business. I ended up earning about £20k less a year but it was my own business and I could work whatever hours I wanted. I got bored of that after five years and sold the business. I then spent some time doing a bit more freelancing and for the last year, haven't worked at all.

I am in the fortunate position where I don't HAVE to work and me not working has made our lives a lot easier. My husband travels a huge amount for his job and is rarely here. We moved to a new city, the kids started new schools, we had a house build to contend with etc. I used the time to make friends, settle in and write a novel (almost finished). I had convinced myself that becoming a writer is what I wanted to do. And I would still love to be one, but I'm a realist and know that the chances of ever getting a book published much less it making any money is slim to zero.

So I've been feeling restless, like I need a job to add another dimension to my life. I love being there for my kids over the holidays, getting to watch them play sport, just being there for them. I know that the time I have with them is short (they're 9 and 7 and will soon be teens who skulk off and want nothing to do with me) so taking a job when I don't need to seems daft, especially given it will put a lot more pressure on our family life. I haven't been constrained by set hours in over ten years. I am used to being my own boss or having the freedom to do what I want when I want.

But today, for no reason at all other than the fact that I was bored, I decided to search for jobs in my local area. Up came a very rare job that looked perfect for my skill set - giving me the chance to focus on the bits of my old job that I loved and combining it with writing. The job closed two weeks ago but I thought sod it, I'll give it a shot. I don't even have a CV so just sent them an email with a summary of what I could do.

Well amazingly I got a call back shortly there after and they have asked to see me on Friday. The salary is about £30k.

It will be a proper job. With normal working hours. I won't be able to spend nearly as much time with the kids. Life will become far more frenetic. I have no family support nearby (but I do have a good circle of friends who could help out in an emergency) and while earning my own money will be nice and will make things easier on our family finances, I don't know if it's worth the sacrifices I will have to make. On the flip side, it is a fab opportunity to get back into the business world onto a career path that is far broader than my old one, something I've been wanting to do for years.

I'm going for the interview but am terrified they offer it to me. Would you take it?

Yes I would. But I'm a ft working woman and mother to a 5 and a 2 year old. My dh works ft too and his office is at home. We have no family around (think 6hr drive or 12.5 hr flight away) but have good friends. I travel quite a bit for work and so rely on dh to pick kids up from nursery or afterschool club. Sometimes friends do that too.

Reason I say that is because of the extra money to cushion the family. Dh was made redundant nearly 2 years ago and decided to set up shop by himself. It's been v successful but stressful at times. He still doesn't really pay himself what he would get if he was in practice. So we only count my income for mortgage and etc. what he brings in is bonus.

But my fear was always if I hadn't been working when he was made redundant, we'd now be in alot of trouble financially and so I thank god that I had a mostly well paid job.

Your kids are old enough for them to be in clubs or activities. You probably need to utilize some good will amongst your friends in exchange for other favors? Eg during first couple of terms we took in a couple of our friends kids and brought them to school with our DS. This school holiday, one of the mums has already taken him for one day. And another mum will take him another two days. They've also always said they are happy to pick him up when they can.

You probably have to get more organised in terms of food cooking. Maybe dh will have to step in half the week and bring the kids to brownies or whatever.

Good luck in making that decision.

Thanks for your thoughts takeaway2 - I should probably clarify. My husband can work from home if he is in the country, but he is away A LOT. In June he was here for a total of 7 days (and that included the weekends). So I cannot rely on him at all. So if the kids are sick or whatever, it will be me who has to do it.

How about an au pair then? I know people who have them even though they both work from home and it's been helpful. These friends, the dh works away alot too although works from home when in the country.

Other friends have au pairs and they both work away lots.

You've nothing to lose by going to the interview.

I'm a great believer in women using the skills they have and you sound as though you have a lot to offer.

The kids will be absolutely fine.

If they offer you the job perhaps you could negotiate 4 days a week rather than full time. That seems to work for many employers and employees.

Alternatively you can say have the kids in afterschool club 2-3 times a week till 6, and then organise for one day to be with a friend and the other day you take the friend's kids. That way you can work from home after they go to bed for a couple of hours.

Or you can do what some people I know do, work through lunch and leave at 2.30/3pm every day. And make up for it an hour per evening?