Going back to work with six month old

[hercules]

We had got childcare sorted between dh and myself but my school have not agreed to me going partime so we are now having to look at nurserise for dd or possibly live out nanny as also have eight year old ds. I did send ds to ursery when he was 3 and that was fine but never wanted to leave a six month old with someone else but dont have any choice now.
I would like to hear other mumsnetters experiences of going back to work fulltime with a young baby and how you managed it.

I've used a childminder and now have a nanny. Went back both times after 12 weeks maternity leave. I really liked both my childminders (as did my girls) and now my nanny (as do my girls). Must admit to feelings of jealousy/worries about missing on things/was it fair to the girls etc - work fairly long hours so girls used to/do spend a lot of time with what, essentially, is their primary carer. Good news is the girls are happy, sociable, polite, usually fairly well-behaved etc and have benefitted from another person to love them. I think it can be incredibly hard - but good carers will update you/keep diaries etc/take photos/spend time with you to involve you as much as possible so that does help. Good luck.

Just to add - I've an awful lot to thank the girls carers for and have benefitted a lot from their support and advice. Credit them with most of my dds' social skills/general kindness etc.

Thanks Sykes. My ds was very happy at nursery and with his childminder when he went to school. I suppose what really gets me down is that I want to be the primary carer. I know my dd and ds will be fine as whatever childcare we choose will be good but I will miss her sooo much. DS not so bad as he is at school all day and it wont really affect him. I am also at home during the holidays.

Hi Hercules

I went back 4 days a week as on the 5th day I have lots of hospital appointments etc with her.
I went back to work when she was only just over 3 months old - horrid but no choice. Love being a working mum now and wouldn't have it any other way.

With the childminding - my best friend had her for the first 2 years a few days a week and my mum had her for a couple of days. now my dad has her for one day and my mum the other 3.

I also had a friends childminder semi lined up in case it got too much for my friend or my mum.
What else, if anything did you want to know about?

I didn't go back full time - but almost (30 hrs per week) when dd was 6 months. She took about 1-2 weeks to settle in, that's all. She doesn't seem disadvantaged by her early start in Nursery - on the contrary she is a very confident 18 month old, who is emotionally secure and happy.

Having said this, I didn't feel that I was missing out when she was a baby (babies - urghhh!), but now she is older I do miss her and resent being apart from her, and I intend to give up work soon (particularly since no 2 is on the way)

Re my babies - urggh comment! - I'm sure your baby is lovely hercules!!!...I'm just not overly enamoured of babies myself

(Phew, nearly put my foot in it)

Hercules,
I went back full-time when ds and dd were 4 months and 5 months respectively. I too feel gutted that I don't have a choice either (including simply cutting my hours at present) but I can honestly say that although I miss them, the children have both flourished at their nurseries. Good quality childcare can be found (even if leaves you skint). We always felt happiest with a nursery setting, partly because of an initial bad childminder experience.
I wish I could say it gets easier for the parents but that's not true for me. But you will find a way of coping and I just focus very tightly on the fact that we would still be cooped up in a tiny flat and have no garden or car (nothing grand mind!) if I had given up work altogether. We are also using our sad disposable monthly income after all outgoings are met to save up for university fees

Went back to work with DS1 at about 5and a half months and DS at 7 months.

We have employed two nannies, the first one with DS1 - though looked after DS1 very well was a bit of control freak who we were unable to communicate with, felt very excluded. Our new Aussie nanny is great, more easygoing, not quite as perfect and the fact that we have a great relationship with her makes the whole experience so much easier. Don't underestimate the importance of you getting on with the carer because that it will make it much easier. Carry out two interviews, one with the kids present and one without.

Good luck, hope it goes well.