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How can I get my confidence back and find a new direction?

7 replies

cheerup · 20/07/2013 07:15

In my twenties, I had a good career in a specialist sector in London. I progressed well within the company (now defunct due to acquisition), managed teams and got frequent calls from headhunters. My personal life was, however, a car crash and I rather stupidly gave my notice in, sold my house, left London and severed all ties. Fast forward 10 years, I have a great personal life but have reached what feels like a career impasse and have completely lost my confidence at work.

After leaving London, I've worked locally in non career jobs and, since having the children, part time. Initially, I didn't work because I didn't need to (this doesn't seem to go down very well at interview BTW). I'm still in a management position but it's very much junior management/supervisory and I don't feel like I've developed any new skills or learned anything marketable for a long, long time. I'm bored, stale and am finding it hard to conjure up any recent achievements for applications/interviews or even the confidence to apply for anything. Although I've been working, I feel like I've been out of the 'proper' job market if that makes sense.

Youngest is now about to start school and I have a fantastic opportunity to forge a career again as I could go full time or have two days a week to volunteer/train but I am really struggling with both confidence and direction. The times when I didn't need to work are long gone financially and I want to feel passionate and engaged about my work again.

Any words of wisdom for someone who is obviously spectacularly useless at career planning?

OP posts:
cornflower123 · 22/07/2013 09:19

Bumping this for you - it sounds as though you are really playing down your achievements over the last 10 years. You have continued working during this time, and in a junior management role - obviously not always easy with young DC, and many people don't mange to do this.

I think you really need to sit down and honestly look at your current and potential skills. What do you really deep down enjoy doing? Many of us find that career path takes a different direction post-DC and the cards are thrown up into the air. I also think you might be making too much of a distinction between 'proper' and 'improper' jobs (I have spent too much time doing this too). Rose tinted spectacles and all that.

Hope someone else has some more concrete suggestions for you!

Veen2 · 23/07/2013 11:44

Hi
Confidence comes from your self image so start from there. It's not only about mindset but also the way you dress. Invest in a good work wardrobe and dress for success as they say...My colleague was in a similar position as yourself but when she started to power dress even though all of us at work dress fairly casually, she got taken seriously by our boss (a woman) and became very confident. She's now in a higher position than me when she worked under me!! Her secret was she copied our boss's style and bought some dresses from this website www.jeetly.com/ which nobody had ever heard of but she was petite of course.
Her answer to me was 'casual dress reflects casual minds' so you need to be one step above the rest.

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 25/07/2013 15:32

OP, I'm in exactly the same boat!! Still got little DCs (3 and 1) so can only work part time, but I hate my current job and there are very few others that I can even apply for. I used to just go from one job to another, feels like I'm a million miles from that now.

Sorry, don't have any practical advice although you did say you were struggling with direction. Have you thought about doing some sort of away day to identify what you want out of your career? I think I need to take a step back and work out exactly what that is for me. Then I might be able to work out which type of job fits.

neveronsunday · 25/07/2013 23:08

I could have written your post.

Am completely in same boat - desperate to feel fulfilled but completely lacking in confidence.

Will be back tomorrow.

Chippychop · 26/07/2013 05:53

Same here. I'd love a WFH role but what that is the question...
Here's a selection of local businesses/services that The mums at school do Hairdressing/handmade 'stuff' for the home you never knew you needed, ladies clothing. Kids clothing, upholstery and curtains making, chef/caterer, cards

But still I can't think of anything...

Bigwuss · 26/07/2013 06:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Potteresque97 · 30/07/2013 14:44

Have you tried taking to your boss about the next step at your current work? If they are not offering any advancement, did you have any people you used to work with you could look at on linked in? It might give you an idea what new skills they have, and ideas about what you could do that would work in your area. Otherwise, sometimes I look through job adverts to see what various jobs I'm interested in are asking for in.

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