Seeing HR tomorrow and am starting to meltdown.

[Madamecastafiore]

Have been off of work for a month.

I tackled a lady at work about her racism and she and another lady who hates me (for no apparent reason) then put in complaints about me. I refuted all of the complaints and then put in an official grievance as IMO they are victimising me.

Anyway after I found out about the complaints (read an email not meant for me) I had to leave - I just cannot take this - feel horrendous - am having anxiety problems and have appointment to see specialist midwife at the end of the week and have to go back to doctors as she wants to keep her eye on me.

I can't sleep, haven't been able to eat properly, thought being off would be nice, could catch up with friends, watch films, red books, get stuff for when baby arrives but have done nothing - find it impossible to concentrate, can't keep still and burst into tears at odd occasions.

Anyway have seen occupational health and they have said I should not go back until this is all sorted out. So tomorrow I go in to see HR Manager and another manager who has been brought in to 'see if there needs to be an investigation', this manager also said that she sees the outcome as us all getting back to having a cordial working relationship - racist woman is just to apologise for her comments and I am just to forget everything sort of??

But I know I won't be able to - I feel under attack and victimised - they obviously got together and had a good old natter about how they could get me into trouble and put their plan into action.

I have no idea what the meeting with HR will cover - what they will ask me, what am I supposed to ask them etc. Have been advised or it has been suggested that I do not put in an official complaint about the racism but it is something that I want to do.

I am all a 2 and 8 now and am feeling more and more panicky and sick as the day ticks away.

Not sure what I expect you guys to do - just need a hand to hold I think.

Yes, good luck.

If you don't understand any of the questions they are asking or why don't be afraid to ask for clarification.

What you are describing is ongoing bullying which has culminated in this incident, no wonder you are upset.

UPDATE

It wasn't too bad!!

Day didn't start great though as we are having showers ripped out and replaced and the plumber had switched off the water - not great when the first part of you to show any stress is your bowel!! I used 4 different toilets before 10am this morning and thank the lord didn't have to go again as all cisterns were empty!!

Anyway, meeting was to go through my email response to the racist ladies email.

My friend was really great, really supportive and I think I would have ended up a mess in the corner without her.

I explained that my reaction to this recent issue was a culmination of one of the ladies making horrid comments for a long time and the complaint by racist lady and the stuff said by the lady who makes the comments was the straw that broke the camels back.

I explained every one of my points and on some of them the HR lady said 'If I were to play devil's advocate I could say' and then went on to make me look at some of the issues form a different angle - and although on some levels I agreed with what she said I also tried to put across that I think that if they did not have a problem with me personally the issues that they were bringing to the table wouldn't have been issues IYSWIM.

Anyway at the end of the meeting the HR lady asked me what I wanted to happen. I said that I did not think I could go back to my office or to the building - she said could I if the ladies were not there and asked if after all of the work I had put in setting up the organisation and new building whether I would be upset or feel pushed out not going back. I said no not at all, am pregnant so wouldn't be for long and to be honest it is just a building and a job.

So transpires that I am allowed to go and work at a different office and not have to go back to my current office at all. HR are taking the racism issue very seriously and are looking into my allegation of victimisation.

I burst into tears of relief when they said I didn't have to go back and everyone was taken a back at how much the thought of this had affected me.

I will receive a letter hopefully this week outlining all of this and have 4 appointments with different healthcare professionals at the end of this week and depending on what they say and what occupational health says will see when I have to go into work at the other office.

Thanks you everyone for all of your help and advice, it really did make a difference and having the water and asking for a break were things that I used today to give me time and space to answer certain questions and to get myself together.

Just have huge headache now and very sore eyes from all of the crying and the headache is relief I think, will have to have a nap before Luther tonight!!!

ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU.

Glad to hear it all went ok. You must be so relieved that you won't have to sit in the room with the two of them again. Well done you

Glad it went well.

Thanks everyone.

Feel incredibly relieved!!

But think have some sort of post traumatic tiredness. At least to ought I all hopefully sleep!!!!

Really all of you though thank you do much, your support and advice has been invaluable.

MCx