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Absence during pregnancy and manager bullying

7 replies

purpleistturtle · 15/06/2013 14:58

Hi,

I am 25 weeks pregnant, and have a full time job.

In the beginning of my pregnancy I had severe morning sickness and nausea (for which I sought medication) and had to have 8 out of my first 12 weeks of pregnancy off work as I simply didn't feel able to go in.

I also have taken a few days here and there off with vomiting and nausea, and this last week I've been off due to a severe pain in my rib cage.

During the first, long period of absence, when I first called my manager to tell her I'd been signed off by my doctor, she made the comment 'well that seems a bit extreme' in relation to my 2 week note. She arranged for me to see my employer's occupational health woman near the end of my
initial absence, and she barely spoke to me about my pregnancy and then pronounced me fit to work with a phased/gradual return to my full 10 hour shift over 3 weeks.

4 weeks later the nausea and vomiting had a brief return, and rather than travel the 1 hour bus journey to work with a bucket on my lap to spend my 10 hour shift in the toilet, I called in. My manager at this point suggested I 'seek professional medical opinions as occ health says you're well enough to work, so there seems to be some disparities'.

A few (I think 3) days later I went back in.

I've been at work since then until this week. I've been complaining of pain in my ribs for the last 4 or 5 weeks. My midwife says it may just be baby taking up room, or it may be some swelling of the cartilage, but it's not dangerous and I should take paracetamol if it gets really bad.

Well, this week it got really bad. Paracetamol is doing next to nothing, although hot and cold compresses have provided some relief over the last couple of days. Anyway, lying down is the ultimate pain reliever, and there's no way I could've sat in a chair for a full shift, so I called in.

Now, this time my manager has googled my symptoms and the swelling of cartilage the midwife has offered as a possible cause, made a diagnosis herself and spoken to occ health in my absence about it. Occ health advised her that her "diagnosis" can be pregnancy related but not always so my manager is now demanding proof from me that my illness is, in fact, pregnancy related.

I phoned my midwife to ask for this proof after advising my manager once again that there is no diagnosis and only opinion, and my midwife, understandably, said there is no proof to be provided.

What do I do? I feel victimised by my manager, who is making suggestions and covert accusations that I'm either lying or exaggerating and trying to take me down a disciplinary route because she thinks my current problem isn't pregnancy related.

I know she has targets and stats and that me not there means work not done, but I feel she is being unfair to me when I'm clearly already having a miserable time of it. I've tried to speak to her, but she just brushed me off.

OP posts:
SusuwatariToes · 15/06/2013 16:00

I don't really have any practical advice but that is really not on for her to be googling your symptoms and coming up with her own diagnosis. Especially questioning you're doctors signing you off is ridiculous. She needs to realise that while some women do sail through a pregnancy, some people truly are unable to work for long periods.

Alias78 · 16/06/2013 00:01

Just wanted to say I know how you feel. Your situation sounds quite similar to my own experience with my line manager. You could call Maternity Action and also ACAS for advice, they both have a helpline. I also suggest you keep a record of what your manager is saying to you with dates and times and go to HR. do you have a decent HR rep you could speak to?

In my situation HR intervened and while they didnt exactly haul my manager over the coals they did act as a "buffer" between me and her and it did lessen my stress. I went on mat leave pretty much ASAP though.

Rockchick1984 · 17/06/2013 08:58

Speak to your GP rather than midwife, see if they are willing to state it's pregnancy-related rib pain on a sick note.

Rockchick1984 · 17/06/2013 09:01

Oh, and its only 4 weeks until you can start maternity leave so that may be worth considering - I had a terrible time with my line manager when pregnant and I left at 29 weeks as I couldn't face dealing with her any more!

Alias78 · 17/06/2013 15:50

It's very sad the amount of times I've heard of pregnant women being treated like this in the workplace.

Madamecastafiore · 17/06/2013 15:54

Hi Purple, I really feel for you. I don't have any practical advice other than see if you can go to the Gp and get a sick note or one that says you are off with stress and it is her fault would be good.

I am pregnant too and came home today after being bullied as my manager just looked me in the face whilst I am standing there sobbing and told me she didn't have time to deal with it until Wednesday!!

bakingaddict · 17/06/2013 16:10

A doctor's note from your GP or consultant supercedes anything occ health says. Although your GP will only sign a sick note once your illness exceeds Day 7 otherwise your subject to self-certification. Having been off with long term illnesses in both my pregnancies I know that while pregnancy related illnesses are monitored they are not subject to the same workplace rules as ordinary illness and cant form any part of disciplinary procedures

My advice is go to the doctor with any symptoms and make sure the duration is long enough to be covered by a sick note. I was victimised like this in my first pregnancy and made to feel guilty for going to consultant appointments, it truly is despicable behaviour. Agree with Alias, ACAS are very good and well informed in these matters

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