have to work but it's so hard! how do you do it! ?

[boomboomfirepower]

I recently managed to get an apprenticeship in a field I have been studying for a year, which was very lucky as I need minimum wage because I am a single parent and have to qualify for childcare contributions.

BUT! My job is crazy hard, very tiring and im out of the house 8 til 6 five days a week. I'm a single parent and ds goes to his dads once a week sometimes more. I feel like I never see him and he hates me :(

Can't seem to stay on top of housework any more, I used to have an ocd style of household maintenance.

It's so hard to adjust. It's only been a month and I can't see how any other lone parents hold down a full time job and raising a child. It's insane! Please tell me it gets easier and the guilt goes away! Im so happy I'm not on benefits any more but those days seem like a blissful dream now!

I'm not a lone parent, but DH travels most weeks, so I'm on my own Mon-fri, and I'm on my knees by the weekend. Your doing an amazing job keeping going all weekend as well!

My only things to keep things under control are planning, and lowering standards!

I tend to get chores outside the house done on a Sat morning (with kids in tow), and cleaning on Sun morning. Then fun in the afternoons.

Before I go shopping, I look at what is coming up in the following week - so I can figure in birthday cards etc. I also collect together anything that needs to go anywhere over the following week, and put it on the computer desk - then I just need to remember the day!

Is there any chance of popping out at lunch to get some things sorted? Or, can you occasionally have half a day holiday - I've got tomorrow afternoon off, and have a really long list of things to get through, but know it will be easier on my own than with the kids hindering helping - they are 2 and 4.

It does get easier as you get into a routine, and I'm sure your son will get used to it to.

well done on your achievement.yes you'll get wobble but you need to hang on in
a month is still transition.you batch cook,lay out clothes night before etc
you focus on work,not on fluff and fold.a career will enhance you and son life.ocd housework wont

Well done for getting an apprenticeship in your chosen field! i too am a single parent, to a 3 and 16 yo. its manic, my shifts are over 7 days, with 1 maybe 2 days off occasionally. i work anywhere between 30-40 horks a week between 11 am and 11pm getting home. luckily i have a very flexible childminder and mum who look after my 3yo.
Ok, so you asked how do others cope... this is how i term my coping stratergies:-

• housework, is limited to what needs to be done, ie washing, ironing, hoovering, washing up, bathroom, tidy bedrooms. yep, sometimes it looks like a bomb has hit the livingroom where 3yo plays, and i just leave it until i get in from work or even the next day, the place wont fall down :-) *shopping i do online to arrive when im home, as i dont always want to use my time with 3yo shopping. *cooking, either batch cook or plan night before, salad/pizza etc. *pay bills online or by phone *petrol, gas, electric, are all bought commuting to reduce journeys.

The way i justify working mad hours is that i do get to see both dc during part of the day, 3/4 nights a week im there for stories, bathtime, bedtime with 3yo. I can get more housework done in 20mins than i ever could in 2hours. Why be ocd? my house looks tidy and clean, 95% of the time, and we manage, its a nice balance and does get easier with planning. best of luck.

Hang on in there, you will both adjust and when your little one gets older they will respect your work ethic and be proud of what you do, you are setting a great example.

Give yourself some slack, you now have to do everything a SAHM does and work fulltime on top, until you get in a new routine some things will have to slip, it is also exhausting working full time when you are not used to it, it does get easier.

Don't lose sight of the fact you are doing this to better both of your futures, as long as the house is clean it doesn't need to be perfect, rather than making everything sparkle spend the time on what really matters which is enjoying life with your little one, even if its just a trip to the park or something.

I'm sure your little one needs time to adjust too, my 2 complain about me working and ask why can't I be at home like so and so's mummy, but that's just kids for you, but when I recently got a promotion at work, we celebrated together with a meal out and they were thrilled for me and told everyone they knew before I even had a chance. I'm very open with them about what I do at work, why its important to work.

Forget the bloody housework and concentrate on your child and your work. Sometimes one will take priority, sometimes the other. Just do the housework when dust is several inches thick, and/or when you have visitors. There are more important things!