Childcare

[Firsttimemummy33]

I'm sure this is a common dilemma but the worry is ruining my maternity leave! I'm going back to work four days a week in October when my ds will be nine months old. He is booked into nursery which I have just started getting my head around. Now though I have the opportunity for him to go to a childminder who I have known for years. She had two children of her own and I would trust her 100 percent with my previous boy. I don't know what to do, my head says nursery is more practical because of hols/sickness of staff not being an issue but my head says he is be too young for nursery and will be happier with a child minder. His happiness is of course my main priority but I know I should be practical too :( advice please

I would always choose a childminder at this age.

I too would use a childminder especially as it is someone you know and trust. For a child of that age, I personally would prefer a more homely environment with fewer children.

I used a childminder at that age, the practicalities have been fine and my dcs have benefitted enormously from being part of a another family.

I chose a CM for my DS because I felt better about him being in a home environment. Yes sickness can be annoying but certainly my CM used her common sense with regards to DS having the sniffles than my friends' nurseries. They seemed to ring at the drop of a hat and expect pick up straight away for the littlest of things so it balanced out.

trust is the most important thing when someone else is looking after your baby so I would definitely go for it.

For me it wouldn't be about whether a childminder or a nursery is best. It would be one hundred percent that you know and trust one of the options...this is priceless imo.

Just to balance out other comments, I chose a nursery because it offered an environment we couldn't offer at home. We don't have grandparents nearby and all cousins are a long way away and a lot older too, so giving dc a chance at a more social environment seemed ideal to me - perhaps less at the start (9 months too) but very much so now, at 2. I liked the idea that they were open all year round apart from a couple of days, so we could manage our holidays to suit us. Our nursery has been very sensible with illness and never sent home unfairly. We also use our favourite staff to babysit. I think they are brilliant, it is like a second home and dc has very close bonds with one of the other children and has always loved the staff. There are of course loads of toys to play with, a huge garden with pets, and all that kind of thing - we've found we don't need many toys at home as that is what nursery provides.

For me, the choice was a gut instinct one, I visited lots of options and this nursery made me feel welcome and the staff were all delightful and friendly and the children were all busy and active - there was a lot of messy play going on every time I visited! This was not true of all nurseries I visited though - one or two I had an opposite reaction to.

Do you have a gut instinct for which way to go?

I've tried both and childminder was the best option for us. When i first went back to work after having my son who is now nearly 3 he went with a childminder. He settled very quickly and all went great. When I started my 2nd round of maternity leave before having my 2nd baby we stopped using the childminder as she was no longer needed, but about 6 months later put him in a nursery for just 2 mornings a week thinking he might enjoy it. It lasted a month as he never settled in that environment and hated going, he never really seemed to click with the staff like he did with the childminder (maybe it was just that nursery though?).

Now back to work again and both the kids are with the same childminder and both kids are very happy so I'm a happy mammy :-)

Your choice really.... I work 4 days a week. I felt strongly that I wanted DD to go to nursery for social interaction, structure etc. she went at 8 months. Everyone is different go for whichever you would prefer.

OP I am in a similar position. I have a place at a nursery that I guess is technically lovely, but I am feeling very drawn to a childminder route instead - I just don't feel comfortable about the nursery, and due to transport and location issues there isn't really an alternative. The nursery seems beautiful and the kids happy, I guess, but it feels regimented and a bit cold - and v alien to the chaotic warm environment she is used to at home. So I am ogling oter options but all very unsure

But one thing I AM sure if - we should go with our gut instinct on this, whatever feels right. Many have told me that gong back to work is agony but MUCH easier to bear if you just feel solid about the childcare chosen, listening to your hunches for your particular case.

Another vote for CM at that age. I went back when DD was 8mo and felt so much more comfortable leaving her in a more homely environment with one carer. I've never had any problems with reliability, and the only time she had to take a day off at very short notice she has introduced us to another CM who lives a street away who has taken DD a few times. It might be worth asking your CM if she has an arrangement like that? Also I've found her much more flexible if I am running a few minutes late etc.

However it is entirely about gut instinct. Go and see the nursery again, go and see the CM's house, and go with what feels right.

Thanks for all the comments, the reasons most of you went with cm are the same ones that make me feel more comfortable about this for my son. The nursery is great (and very expensive) and I'm sure he will be ok there but I want him to be happy more than anything. I'm meeting with the cm next week and if I'm happy with everything am sure this will be what we choose. TBH though at the moment I can't imagine leaving him with anyone, I knew it would be hard but never dreamed I'd feel like this - and I love my job! :(

OP I so agree - I can't imagine letting dd ini childcare - and like you I never expected to be so reluctant to do it in return to work... Loved my job totally.

I think i would do nearly anything to avoid putting her into childcare:/ - have looked into selling house and quitting job... But even then wouldn't survive on one income . Woe. Hopefully we will all adjust! Good luck with your decision x

Thanks mummyofsunbeam - you too. We have no idea how these beautiful little miracles will change not just our lives but ourselves completely! x

Each to their own I think with this one. Both mine went to nursery at 9 months and were very happy. However, we moved across the country and chose a childminder; one of the reasons for this was because it was much cheaper. Didn't work out for us though due to many reasons - kids now back in nursery/afterschool club ( and far more expensive) we are all much happier. As others have said, it is often an instinct and if something doesn't work, for whatever reason, you can always change. Good luck with returning to work.

My dd was very happy at nursery (went at 5 months) but I can recall they called me to collect her frequently initially. Threw up once? Home for 48 hours. My boss got a bit snotty about it. A CM might have been a bit more forgiving in the early days. Once we got past that stage the nursery was fab. I am not talking of genuine illnesses here btw. One runny poo, one sick and out the door sort of thing.

CM.

Could you do both? Eg 2 days each?

I visited the CM today and just knew immediately I was much more comfortable with the idea of leaving my ds with her. Am following my heart and have made the decision to choose CM over nursery - especially when my baby is so young. Happy days :)

Hurrah! It's a great weight lifted, isn't it, when you feel happy with the childcare you've chosen. Glad it turned out to be so simple in the end.