Short (3 mth) maternity leave in new job

[pali1978]

Just found out I'm pregnant. Very happy but also very anxious as am about to start new job. I don't think I will be able to take more than three months off as (1) I need to show I am totally committed (as a new joiner and as I am hoping for a fast track to promotion which, if I achieve it, would give me more flexibility for number 2 (if we are lucky enough to have another); and (2) I will be unpaid on leave as will not have been there long enough even for SMP. Some people might think re (1) I have my priorities wrong but if I step off the gas in my career now, it is likely to impossible to catch up in a hugely competitive field. Does anyone out there have similar experience? Either on starting a new job pregnant and/or on taking a short leave in order to keep ahead in your career? (We will be able to afford a nanny or nursery which will be necessary as my husband works long days and family unlikely to be regular carers).
Thanks so much in advance.

Not 100% sure what you are really asking about.
If it's "Will it be OK to go back after 3 months?" then of course it will be. that's what maternity leave was for everyone until recently - certainly what I took with all 3 of mine.
Not sure that it matters "what other people think" as long as you and your dh are happy with your choices.
I also got a job when I was pregnant with my 3rd, but I did discuss it with them at interview and they appointed me knowing I was going to defer the start date, so slightly different in that I hadn't started, and I was open and honest and they still thought I was the best candidate, even though I needed to defer the start date.
Not sure if any of this answers what you want to know ?

Would you not get maternity allowance?

As a nanny I have worked for mums who went back to work when their baby was around 3 months old. Hard going for the parents as still in the sleep deprived stage.

Career is important so if the only way to keep that going is to return to work quickly, then do so.

thank you both. and yes, I guess my question was will three months be manageable. As soon as I was offered the job I told them I wanted to have a baby and couldn't defer it. They said that was fine though it was made fairly clear to me that a long leave wasn't realistic. They have also made clear to me they think I am the best candidate they have seen in a long time and even before I told them, I think anyone interviewing a woman in her 30s, recently married, must realise there is a good chance they'll be pregnant before too long. A week after that conversation with them I found out I was pregnant. I guess there is an argument for telling them before I start but my preference would be not to bother them with that from day 1 and to make a strong impression first. I am afraid, and sadly, justifiably so, that at least some people in the office will judge me but at my age, and having been told my fertility is suboptimal, we didn't feel we had much choice but to go for it (obviously not expecting it to happen so quickly).
I think I probably will get maternity allowance - which will help. But we have very much a two wage set up (mortgage based on two incomes etc) so a long break would be tough (though, if I thought it would be realistic in career terms, I'd do it).

Yes it's perfectly possible, and indeed you may find your baby settles more quickly and easily into childcare than they would at around 9-12 months which is when separation anxiety is at a peak. So it may be a blessing in disguise. I returned at about 4 months and it was fine- I continue bf too until well over a year.
Don't worry about what anyone else may or may not think , it's your career and life after all

I was recruitd to my last job when 5 months pregnant. It did not put them off (and I had a 1 and 3 year old and a full time daily nanny). I took I think 5 weeks off with him - it was over a summer - and went back full time. It was my choice and they paid me full time in that period and we already had the nanny there are home looking after the others so child care was fine. It worked fine. He's now graduated although I have younger twins now too. More importantly in those 24 years my career has gone very very well and so much has stemmed from that decision to carry on full time work. I was able to express breast milk at work and all the children breastfed for at least a year.

I started my new job at 4 months pregnant and told my boss in the first week as my stomach was already massive! Things were quite hard for me as to my surprise my bosses took it really badly. I thought they'd just shrug and say these things happen. But I was recruited when I was only gone one month pregnant so impossible to tell them then.

I made a big deal about only off for 6 months instead of the whole year. Now I'm due back I'm wondering whether to take the whole year or not.

Do u have to say 3 months? As that is really short. My old boss took 4 months but that wasn't counted as mat leave, she counted that as working from home. Maybe you could start after 3 months from home for a month? Just to give your body a break more than anything else.

Good luck with it all!

Thanks! I think the reality in my work/given I am aiming for promotion in the short term is that 3 months is about all I can sensibly do. Of course, I could just delay my career path but I'd rather push on and, if I get the promotion, life will be so much easier if/when we have number 2 :) But you're right about starting at home to begin with. I think I will try to do a day or two a week from home to begin with.

I hope my boss will be OK about it. Will be 10 weeks when I start and planning not to say anything till more like 16 weeks (to give me a chance to show how good I am...) After they offered me but before I accepted I raised the subject of having children, saying it was on my agenda. They were not surprised and said it was fine (though told me she took 3-4 mths for her kids). I don't think she'll be expecting me to turn up preggers but there's no good time for these things and frankly, having put babies on hold once for my career, I am not risking it again.
Hope you work out the best thing with your return to work too. These things are tricky but really they needn't be so awful if everyone is sensible and accepts every woman's right to have a baby.

Is 3 months doable? I think most mothers would find that unbearably early. But not everyone of course.

Will you find it doable? No one can say. I think you need to be mindful that there's no way of knowing for sure until you have your baby.

I found it hard to leave my baby for one evening at 5 months. I'd booked tickets to see my favourite band while pregnant, I thought "of course it'll be easy to leave DS for an evening at 5 months, why wouldn't it?" But the reality was very different from what I'd imagined; there's no way I'd have wanted to work then.

I'm not saying it's not possible. But that you shouldn't underestimate how much your priorities can change when you become a mum. You may be breastfeeding for example, and find that denying your DC the health benefits of BFing is something you don't want to do. Or you may just find that your instinct simply won't let you leave your child at 3 months. Sure, some others have done it, but many more would much rather not, given the choice.

I'm not saying you should start planning for a long mat leave now. But that you just don't know how you'll feel until you're there. Please be very wary of backing yourself into a corner where you make it harder than it needs be with your baby if in the event, that's what you want to do.

Yes I believe it is possible, it is what I did, going back when both mine were about six weeks. I had a full time nanny and as the MD this was as long as I could be away from the business.
This was my career and my choice, yes it is hard when you don't get a full nights sleep, however mine settled well and were only on 1 night feed by then so it worked for us.

I would just say, there is no sense here that anything your husband does will need to change. Even if you go back at 3 months you can still, if you manage your hours well, see something of your baby, whereas he working 'very long hours' may not. Don't just assume this is the way it has to be - get him to think about how he plans to work in the future, just like you are having to.

No experience as such but had lots of plans in action and when DS was born I just wasn't interested in them as much. Hope it works out for you though op.

I would be careful about committing to anything as you really don't know how you will feel. I am surprised that going back a couple of months later would have a huge impact on promotion. It is better to go back when you are truly ready for it than going back and resenting it. I went back before i was ready really and I think it impacted by work badly (so that years down the line I am still doing damage repair!)

But 3 months was standard mat leave until very recently wasn't it? It's only recently we've got used to a year.

bigkidsdidit I read your post, and though 'Nah, it's been longer than that' but was when I googled. This timeline is informative - 1999 before everyone got 3 months' leave! Shocking.

I went back at 4 months, having worked till the day ds arrived. It honestly wasn't that bad, even though he woke lots. I was breastfeeding, so he just co slept most of the night and I got a good amount of sleep.

We did prioritize time with ds - tried to bring work home rather than work late (though nursery hours kept that under control), and no socialising without him. This has let us be a family - which dh saw a lot of men opt out of when he was in the city

Just remember that if you do say 3 months at the start you are legally entitled to change it if you change your mind. (They need 8wks notice).

And as snazzy says it is worth exploring the issue with your Dh too. It shouldn't fall all on your shoulders. My friend took 5mths and her dh took the following 4mths meaning baby was 9mths when nursery started. Plus baby has excellent bond with both parents. I'm almost thinking we should have done that too.