Bungled job (promotion) interview and stressing about it.

[jamiesam]

Would anyone mind telling me to JUST GET OVER IT? Feel free to cut and paste!

I went for an internal job/promotion a month ago and lost out to someone who on paper is vastly underqualified compared to me. It has really knocked my confidence and left me feeling lacking in confidence in my ability to do my existing job. As well as arrogant (like I thought the job was mine) and humiliated (like everybody else must be thinking I'm crap at my job - since that's what I'm thinking)

It's still bothering me after a month and I'm struggling to find anyone that I can talk to about it. When I had the debriefing with my boss after my colleague was appointed, I'm ashamed to say I cried like a baby. Blamed it on my pg for his benefit. But honestly, I'm really upset and feel like an idiot and as if I am wasting my time at work.

Actually that was quite cathartic, but if anyone would care to cut and paste that would be really kind!

Are you pregnant? - if so it's your hormones, don't worry about it. Cheer up

Were you given clear reasons by your boss as to why you weren;t appointed?

I agree this kind of thing cuts to the quick when you are applying for external jobs, but internal must be even worse.

If all else fails, go & punch a pillow REALLY hard.

Thanks chaps.

I'm kinding of blaming the pg for my crap interview technique, but at the same time am concerned that I would bungle any internal interview from now on - which is a bit of a bloody pain actually, as my 'field' is pretty small and it doesn't help if I cut down my options.

Frayed, yes I was given clear reasons, which I guess basically amount to being unduly nervous and uncomfortable in the interview, and not giving full answers (to questions that both I and my boss know that I know the answers to iyswim, but what you say in the interview is all)

Cat, sorry you've gone through similar too. If you find a way to stop feeling so cr*p, do let me know!!

Really feel for you. This sucks.

I am always deeply suspicious of internal interviews. Always wonder if you are doing a good job in your current position, do you ever get overlooked for promotion because you are so good at existing job? IYSWIM.

Hello. I've interviewed internal applicants before who I suspected could do the job but who did such a terrible interview that I couldn't possibly justify giving it to them. I'd usually have to pass the person up for at least one other interview and I'd need to a) document their performance at the first interview and b) expect that I wouldn't be damaging my reputation by putting someone forward who was going to do a terrible second interview. Sorry, I know that's not very encouraging. Do you think it was discrimination because you're pregnant? That bit sounds alarm bells for me. I wouldn't do this, obviously but I wonder if it had a bearing? Has it definitely been offered to someone else? If not, it might be worth asking if you can re-apply - point out that you know you did a bad interview but that you'd like another chance. If they give you another interview, prepare very well. I would be prepared to listen to a case like this from an internal candidate that did well but had flunked the interview but only IF I hadn't already offered the job elsewhere, obv.

Sadly no, WWW, job was offered to another internal candidate (who on paper is vastly underqualified compared to me blah blah blah)

No, they didn't know I was pg, or at least I hadn't told anyone (although was already starting to feel/look vast), so I really don't think there is any discrimination there.

I MIGHT suspect discrimination because I'm PT and the person appointed is full time, but that doesn't really get me anywhere as I only have an unsubstantiated suspicion - and I did a crap interview.

So, I'm just going to have to learn to get over it. Hmmm.

If we lived in an ideal world, promotions would not depend solely on interviews. A better approach would be to choose various criteria such as experience, qualifications, company knowledge, and interview, and give them weightings e.g. experience 20%, qualifications 20%, company knowledge 20%, and interview 40%. The give each candidate scores for each measure and promote the one with the best total - i.e. not all dependent on the interview.

In the meantime, JUST GET OVER IT!

Thank you

Jamiesam, although I do sympathise with you, I take issue with your point about someone being "vastly underqualified on paper compared to me". I am vastly underqualified compared with most of my work colleagues, in that they all have PhDs and Masters degrees and I have 2 crappy A levels. Despite my lack of paper, I am working at the same level as them, and if I were to be interviewed for an internal job and lose out after interview to someone who got the job just because their paper qualifications were better than mine, I'd be very pissed off. If paper is all that counts, why bother interviewing?

Thanks for reply to MrsS, cat64.

MrsS - sorry if I expressed myself very poorly. I would hate for my colleague who got the job to find out that I had used that expression.

However, what I was alluding to was that I have 13 years experience in a related field and 3 years experience in current job (albeit only part time and including a period of maternity leave) whereas colleague has 'only' four years experience in current job (albeit ft and without the maternity leave!!!).

I think I should have said 'on paper she is significantly less experienced than me'. We both have the same qualification. She's just a lot better at her job than me and it's bugging me!

I think I've become that person in the office who is a waste of space and is never going to be given any serious work because they can't be trusted to do it properly.

However now I am wallowing, and I did ask very sweetly if you'd mind telling me to JUST GET OVER IT didn't I?

Your turn and time will come !

This happened to me a few years ago - when I was about to go on mat leave - and I was gutted - BUT - almost 6 yrs on I have a lovely daughter and a great life outside of work and the woman that got MY job is still the same - in same job, still single, approaching 40 and a workaholic. I look at her now working her long hours as I leave early to pick dd up from school - and I know it was for the best !

Concentrate on the baby and your real life - remember "work to live not live to work" and don't stress over it. Your time will come.

Thanks Norah.

You're right about leaving early/working long hours. I can't give work more hours than they contract me - and I love that! But colleague who got MY job (lol!) will be able and expected to do longer hours at the drop of a hat.