Heart not in job offered: what to do?

[RoseWei]

I went after a full-time post at the University that I presently work in on a casual, part time basis with all the uncertainty that that involves.

FT post is a lower grade, supporting students rather than lecturing, and, pro-rata, significantly lower salary. But it is FT and permanent. Got the job.

Trouble is - I am worried that it wouldn't be very easy to get back into lecturing following a year or so away from my present department & a year or so away from lecturing/teaching. (Or however long I remained in post before applying for higher level positions.)

Also, truth to tell, I'm not comfortable about it - haven't worked FT for a very long time (kids now quite a bit older), and don't see myself in this role. So why did I apply? Cos I was worried about the unpredictability of my present job (hours depend on student numbers) and the need to get a regular salary (DH is in a pickle - works but, again, not guaranteed days.)

Really, really torn. Haven't signed the contract yet though really need to to be fair to the new department. Worried that if I decide not to, it may go against me as far as the whole Uni is concerned - my present dept included. Worried that if I say yes, and look for a job that would suit be better (anyway) soon after I start, that wouldn't look good and references would reflect that.

Would like to go with my instincts and find something I really want to do or trust that there will be teaching hours next academic year - on the other hand, aware of my responsibilities as a mother, mortgage payer, the need to service debts etc. Any thoughts, experiences - gratefully received!

It's hard. I went back to work full time after a career break as I felt I should too but its not the job I was doing or what I wanted to do.
That said, it has worked out well. Given me the confidence to work full time again - I was surprised at how shaky I was once back - and I have been promoted since which helps.
Now in a much better place to choose what I want to go going forward.
Nothing is perfect but it may be worth it and lead to something that you want more in time?

Think about what you really want in the long term and how you can get there. Is your current department sympathetic to your position regarding the unpredictability of your hours, do they know about your desire to increase your salary? Is there any flexibility in the new job? Would you be prepared to do what it takes to somehow do both? Do you think both departments might work together somehow, perhaps job share the lower paid post and keep your lecturing hours? You would have to build a strong case and take the lead on how this would work, or perhaps if you opened the discussion someone might have a better solution.