Juggle kids and job - how?

[ladyjess]

DS1 is 2.5 yrs old and ds2 is 9 months. I quit my perm job after having ds2 and took a contract job. 3 days a week project management role, paying loads so went for the money.
well, the contract is up in 3 weeks and they have decided not to renew as they realise they need someone full time to do project management.
Even though I know PM work is hard to do part time as things can't just stop on the days you are not in, I just feel such a failure not being able to manage being a mother and working.
Obviously we will miss the extra wage but we can manage on dh's salary.
I just feel so rubbish! I have never not had a contract renewed and I feel like I have lost my touch in the workplace.
My kids are my main priority and they will always come first so if one of them was ill then I would stay at home and miss work.
How do other people cope with this? am i just totally crap? have i lost any brain cells that were previously there pre pregnancy??

just feel so shit about it all and keep doubting myself and my abilities. I used to be a good PM, I know this but now I just feel like a crap mother and a crap worker.

boohoo!

Poor ladyjess, just wanted to offer you some sympathy. I too rapidly fell from being employee golddust to sh_t on the soles of employers' feet when I went from fulltime childless employee to parttime mother and worker.

It is not you, most definitely not. It is unenlightened attitudes that still prevail, sadly. Some roles are more conducive to parttime that others. Unfortunately, employers take the piss and discount the pay on such roles drastically. I have contact with the PMs in my company's IT department and they told me that informally the company did not think a PM job could be done parttime. I do know of a pt IT analyst but those roles are few and far between.

Try not to let them make you doubt your abilities - it is so hard when you have so much on your plate. Give yourself a break and reassess your options, but don't write yourself off.

thank you bs! made me feel a lot better.

that is the trouble, i could find a less pressurised job but it simply would not pay the money. my childcare bill for 3 days a week is £1000/month!! so i need to be taking home a load more than that to make it worthwhile.

my husband is very tight so i am dreading having to ask him for money to buy my (essential) Christian Dior cleanser!! sorry, only joking - in case anyone was about to jump down my throat
telling me not to be so spoilt! i will stock up on it now before i run out of cash. hoho

i have decided to take the next 6 months off with the boys and reassess the situ after that. not looking forward to being skint but am looking forward to some proper time with the boys and a fantastic tan over summer. yay!

hi ladyjess,
i wanted to offer some sypathy re the whole used to work long hours and buy premium brands and now find the whole thing doesn't work with part time hours and being a mum!! i think the best way to deal with it is to wait till the kids are older and or in school (atleast that cuts down the childcare cost and they can enjoy their afterschool childminder/nanny time more - i went to a childminder and i remember enjoying it more once i was about 3).
i was at a wedding this weekend and had a really interesting conversation with 3 other mums. only 1 had gone back full time and the other 2 like me are staying at home 'for the time being'. we discussed it and thought that it might be different in say 5-10 years time with lots of 'stay at home mums - previously career women' who want to return to work and that the longer career break will become socially more acceptable...
that said you might continue to find other contracts and freelance work you were not expecting. i tend to agree with blueshoes and think that, if they haven't taken you on again, its got much more to do with unenlightened attitudes and nothing to do with you being a crap worker.

The problem is that to work outside the home is acceptable now but nobody has thought to force employers to have a social conscience. What is supposed to happen if children are ill? We are entitled to time off for our own illnesses but where is the legislation that allows a parent to take time off to look after a sick child? Why should there not be paid leave for this? And why can a PM not work part-time? For example there are patients in hospitals that need 24 hour care. Nobody says that there has to be one nurse in charge of that patient and that she must work constantly without a break until that patient goes home. She finishes her shift, liaises with another nurse and between them they manage to ensure continuity of care. Can any HR department honestly say that there are projects out there more important and complicated than human lives and that if a PM works part-tome the whole thing goes belly-up. That is poor HR management, and not a reflection on you at all, Ladyjess, I hope they realise their mistake.