Would you give a reference to someone you found a pain?

[Mo2]

I left a company a short while ago. One of my former team is also thinking of leaving, and has contacted me asking if I would be willing to give her a reference.

She is a complete pain in the Ar$*! Very self-centred, probably the most 'high maintenance' person I've ever had work for me, and had major sickness absence issues.

However we both still work in the same area, and I would rather not cause bad feeling between us.

How can I handle it?

• say no, but without a reason
• say yes, but only if a new employer contacts me directly
• say no, and tell her why!

Give a reference, stated only her good points, adding on the end, 'contact me for more info' that tells the employer there are negative issues.

yes if employer contacts you directly
great get out of poo clause imo

O this is a tough one. Say yes if a new employer contacts you but be as honest as possible with the new employer. A reference doesn't have to be positive!

Say that it could be a breach of clauses in the contract which came into force following your departure from the company (ie it could be seen as a form of poaching) and therefore you would be happy to however she would have to wait for 1 year from your date of departure for this no poaching clause to lapse.

Aren't you legally obliged to provide a reference, at least confirming the dates she worked for you and responsiblities? Check out the DTI website.

Wouldn't give an open reference, just say you'll respond to any request from an employer. Be very careful about any negative statements - can land you in hot water. Better to confirm basic details and not go into anything difficult - absence of comment on eg. teamworking will speak volumes. If you have sickness records you can give that info as it is factual.

Theoretically you have a legal responsibility to the future employer to be honest about the good and bad bits.

If I were you I would say yes but only if employer contacts you directly. Supply the reference on the condition that it contents cannot be disclosed to the subject (fairly standard practice) state the negatives but maybe try to put a positive spin such as, 'had significant sickness absences but I have no reason to believe this has not been resolved since I left'.

I imagine the new employer would contact her current employer who would probably supply sickness absence stats anyway.

Oh, I see you've left the company. Then you don't have to do it at all. Tell her you no longer have your records and it would be better to get one from the company.

A lot of people now only supply very basic factual references just stating start date, leave date, job title, absence records and whether any disciplinary action had been taken during employment. You could go down that route.

Hmm - yes, some good suggestions here.

It's awkward in that she seems to think that we are 'friends' - whereas not having her work for me is one if the best aspects of me having left as far as I'm concerned!

I agree with edam.

You shouldn't feel under any obligation to provide a business reference as you no longer work for the firm.

Unless you know her socially outside of work, you are in not in a position to provide her with a personal reference.

So, say no.

Say no. If you gave an honest reference, and as a result she failed to get a job, she could sue you (even if the claim would fail, it is a major PITA).

You could say that it is your own policy not to give personal references, or be more honest and say you would have to mention the sickness absence.