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Original poster

URGENT All come this way please and help me out of this mess

24 replies

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 14:53

I am having to return to work next week after maternity leave for 2 weeks before I can hand my notice in, there is no way at all out of this. So DH and I decided that as my work was 200 miles away I would go and stay in Nottingham and he would take time off work to look after ds.

DH spoke to work weeks ago and they said they would try and get him the time off as holiday but DH made it very clear that he would take it as unpaid leave, he has just been called into the office and has been told that he can not have any time off at all holiday or unpaid parental leave, his work have stated that they feel he thinks my work is more important than his, he has explained to them that I am only returning until the purchase of our house goes through (morgage reasons) and that if I don't then we will be pretty much homeless.
They have now gone off to speak with head office.

Does anyone have any ideas about this, I believed that either parent has the right to unpaid parental leave and as he told them weeks ago he should be allowed to have it, they keep saying no your wife is the main carer, I am sooo angry that they can do this to us.

Please any help would be appreciated.

OP posts:

Original poster

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 14:57

PLEASE

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Original poster

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 15:00

Anyone...................

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Flum · 25/04/2006 15:01

I believe you have right to request parental leave but they do not have to agree.

Did he request it in writing?

I think the 'main carer' argument is irrelevant.

I ain't no lawyer though.

CHICagoMUM · 25/04/2006 15:02

\link{http://www.direct.gov.uk/Parents/Employment/EmploymentArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=10029416&chk=l73N%2B3\This may help} .

BadHair · 25/04/2006 15:09

Like Flum says, either parent can request unpaid parental leave, but the employer can refuse if they have good grounds, eg not enough office cover.

However, to make a sweeping judgement about whose work is the most important is not on. Whose work takes precedence in the household is not relevant to this situation.

Can your dh ask for a specific reason why his request was turned down?

Original poster

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 15:11

Thanks for that you 2, I have now found out that he can take parental leave, he definately gave them 21 days notice but didn't do it in writing, they never said no at the time and even stated that they would see if he could have it as holiday (to get paid) and it is just now 3 days before he is due off that they are telling him he can't have the leave.

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FrayedKnot · 25/04/2006 15:12

Their decision on whether or not they will allow him parental leave has nothing to do with you, your job, or any other arrangements / commitments.

he is entitled to it under law and from what have read his employer cannot refuse it, only postpone it, for up to 6 months, for legitimate business reasons.

However, he should have put his request in writing giving them 21 days notice, did he do this?

Is there any way you can delay your period of work?

Original poster

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 15:12

thanks bad hair, he just said it was because they have discovered no one can cover him, but asv I said before he is due to start the leave in 3 days.

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Original poster

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 15:13

N I have to go back next week or we will lose the house we are buying due to morgage reasons.

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FrayedKnot · 25/04/2006 15:17

I would ask his employers to clarify if they are refusing his request outright or whether they are postponing it (they have to give him a date when he CAN take it).

This may make them think because if they refuse him he can take them to tribunal.

FrayedKnot · 25/04/2006 15:19

PS some sites including TUC say you DO NOT have to put your request in writing, but it must give 21 days notice.

But if he e-mailed it to someone I would get him to print a copy off incase.

Original poster

flutterbee · 25/04/2006 15:27

He has been speaking with personnel about it for well over 21 days but now his line manager is saying no, he is a useless f* anyway I have just relayed the law to dh who is off to find him, it also stated that they have to give 7 days notice to change the leave which they haven't done and dh has decided that he will go off sick if they refuse and deal with it all on his return.

After 6 years service no sick time and continually covering when needed I am disgusted they can treat him like this.

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BearsMum · 25/04/2006 16:35

Your local CAB will be able to help with advice and/or to negotiate with the employer on your husband's behalf. Someone else 'official' tactfully helping to point out what the law is can sometimes work wonders.

littleshebear · 26/04/2006 14:53

Phone the Equal Opportunities Commission's helpline and see if they'll give you any advice - number on their website.

crunchie · 26/04/2006 15:19

flutterbee I wouldn't suggest he goes off sick as it is gross miscounduct and they could sack him for that. They know that he wants the time off, so try (I know it is hard) to do this legally, otherwise how can you make THEM stick to the rules.

Original poster

flutterbee · 28/04/2006 14:02

DH has been told he can have one week off but then has to go back to work, they suggested that he finds someone to leave ds with if I am still 200 miles away

DH will be going off sick with stress if we need a second week and it will not be gross misconduct because he really is feeling totally stressed and it would be up to them to prove he isn't stressed which they will be unable to do and if they really really want to take it any further they will have gross misconducts of there own to worry about after some of the things they have said to DH. I'm hoping they do make a fuss because I am really in the mood for a fight at the moment.

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ggglimpopo · 28/04/2006 14:04

What about a back up plan - a maternity nurse or someone so that if he cannot get the time off you are not scuppered.

Alternatively (whisper) could you go off sick?

secur · 28/04/2006 14:06

make sure any sick leave is backed up by a drs sick note, that way he is covered for misconduct - i know my gp would recognise how stressed out I was after a run in like htis had taken place...

crunchie · 28/04/2006 15:35

fb, sorry to suggest the gross miscounduct thing, I just felt your dh's company would be really strict on this. Get a dr's note and you should be OK, but I am still sure they will try it on. It sunds like they are that sort ofcomapny

crunchie · 28/04/2006 15:35

Peachyclair · 28/04/2006 15:55

Hi Flutterbee.

we're also going throyugh something similar arond shifts, Dh is applyng for flexible work but has faced problems because of not being female. However, it's amazing whata few ACS print off popped in an in-tray will do, and DH has his meeting next week with his boss (and an interview the day before with another company, plus a grievance meeting as he put in a formal complaint about his maanger at the request of personnel)

see what you can get that's from poeple they find scary, deffo recommend ACAS, and enclose a copy with anything you send or take to meetings. ACAS website really easy to use.

Original poster

flutterbee · 28/04/2006 21:05

Thanks peachy I will look into that if we need to, DH is horrified that he could have been treated like this, I'm spitting nails about the whole thing so I can't imagine how pi**ed off he must be.

I'm off on Sunday for about 2 weeks and the amount of time I am at work is non negotiable and is based solely on our house purchase completing, fingers crossed it will be very soon, dh and I have discussed everything further and by law he doesn't need to hand a Dr's certificate in for the first 5 days and if they were to even insinuate he was fibbing then we would be able to haul them over hot coals and they would be totally stuffed.

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Peachyclair · 29/04/2006 11:38

Hope it all goes OK XX

whiffy · 30/04/2006 09:59

although i thunk this firm is treating your dh like shit, if any of my staff pulled a week off sick stunt like you are planning on me and my team, i would have their guts for garters. they would get a formal written warning in an instant and i would have them out of my dept as soon as i could. and don't forget it would be on their records and in their references forever. its not worth it......strongly advise you to look at other alternatives...

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