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Returning to Work and the process of change - how much support did you recieve?

6 replies

RuthT · 17/04/2006 18:50

I recently returned to work after 8 months of being a stay at home mum and although it has broadened my views I intrinsically have not changed. I still want to go to work and although I love my child with a passion I could not 24/7 look after her.

Having said that I found the transition back to work extremely difficult. Week 1 I was a bit of a loon as my brain tried to work out what I now wanted from the job that had once been a substantial portion of my life.

Although I have a supportive line manager and partner I did not share, nor did they have a clue, of what I was going through.

I am sure that many returners turn around at the first day and either decide to leave or tune out.

I now wonder what support could be put in place for parents who return to work after a period of time off, and could that support enable more returners to work?

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shellybelly · 17/04/2006 19:16

I thought a majority of companies have some structure in place for parents returning to work, I know my company did (i'm now a SAHM btw) but when i first went back there were meetings before and after the event iyswim. However i don't feel that the emphasis should be holly on the employer I think that the employee should speak up if he/she is finding things difficult Grin my first week was a whirlwind and i left with my head spinning, thank god i don't have to do that anymore Grin

hows it going for you now then, coz i noticed this thread in another topic area, are you finding things any easier, hope you are Smile

RuthT · 17/04/2006 19:28

I find the actual work easy Grin

Don't worry not losing marbles or anything just amazed at what women returners have to go through. Managed many but never connected before.

Having spent over 35 years climbing the corporate ladder having a child is a bit of a shocker to this. When I was on maternity I really did not want to return, as soon as I did return to work I wanted to compete again. Although this felt different because I was stuck on 'hang on I want to compete but I want to leave at 5pm to pick up my little girl'.

I absolutely do not think it is the employers responsibility to manage employees back. However, having now completed the process myself I do wonder if a lot of women are left at the gates because they can't work through the process of returning. I know someone who did turn around and not walk in and another who left a high paying job after three months.

I actually wondered if a good way of supporting women returners is to work through the change process, e.g. what are you ending? what is the transition? what is begining?

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shellybelly · 17/04/2006 19:43

have you gone back p/t, i did and I did enjoy the work and the adult company but have to say I missed dd like crazy, it is really hard work juggling a career and family but if you find the right balance then its great, for me leaving work was an easy decision, financially we are better off and if i was really honest with myself I did want to be a full time mum to dd

what support measures do you think could be put in place Smile

RuthT · 17/04/2006 20:17

No, I have gone back full time. I worked 12 hour days up to my 38th week of pregnancy. On the back of that I don't think I could convince myself - let alone boss that the role could be done part time.

Thing is I do love my job and I couldn't give it up, and for me personally going part time would feel like too much of a compromise. Although if I have no.2 I think my views may change.

On the support thing, well I think there may be a few things, but I was genuinely interested in others views - hence the thread. Smile

I think line managers can chose to have a bigger part in this. Although I accept that everyone is different and the maternity laws are tricky. You can feel as a line manager constrained into doing nothing.

Basics, the line manager and direct report need to have a good, postive intent relationship or it won't work.

(Some of the threads on the mumsnet seem to be individuals who have got themselves into a negative pattern Sad, they lost contact with work/people and think that the situation is worse than it is. They then tar all of work with the same thought and do not want to contact anyone, they assume negative intent.

So another would be as an indiviudal assume positive intent.

There could be a parents return to work net group in companies, or in nct groups.

I think for certain groups companies could invest in coaches for women returners.

Other women in the company who do have children could talk about thier experiences more openly, the tough decisions they have personally had to make. Role Model

The ex CEO of Coca Cola was a young female with 2 children who resigned saying you can't have it all. Although she is now a non exec of other companies and paid a wedge to present and talk. So it seems maybe you can but just not in the same way!

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Broadie · 18/04/2006 13:19

I returned to work 4 weeks ago, having finished 7 months off. Up until DD was 4 mths old I could not see how I could leave her, maternal instincts told me that I needed to be with her. Practical instincts told me I needed to work, financial pressures are at the top of the list, but sanity, peace of mind are pretty much up there as well.

Whilst on Maternity leave I visited many times work with DD kept the communication open with my fellow employees. I had a meeting with my boss about 3 months before returning to discuss my options and prior to this meeting worked out what I could financially and emotionally deal with.

The result is a 4 day working week, in the first week I ensured that my colleagues has realistic expectations of my new mum status. I am still bf'ding and express 3 times a day. But I am doing my work and leaving to get to pick up my daughter in time at the end of the day.

I get up early to spend 2 hours with my daughter every morning, everything is packed and sorted the night before so we sit and play for 2 hours. we spend Wednesday's together, no housework, no errands - just us and we catch up. In the evenings we have about 1 1/2 hours working towards bedtime.

My work have been very supportive. When I fell pregnant I suddenly became very assertive and protective of my new baby - and I will assert myself to protect the time I spend with her every day.

The other key thing for me is finding a childcarer who I swear must pee liquid gold! she's amazing and has made the whole process much better.

I don't think its just about the workplace. You need to have all your ducks in a row emotionally and financially - this includes the workplace and your childcare.

Just my 2 pennies
debs

RuthT · 18/04/2006 19:43

Have agreed that it is not the workplace... however....

this is about what companies could do to encourage women returners to work. Not just the usual stuff of part time etc.

If a company really values a diverse workforce what could they do to shift the current situation.

I am looking at the possibilities, accepting that it is still an individual process and choice

How many really diverse companies do you know and how many say they want to have a diverse workforce?

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