Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Am so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

93 replies

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 10:08

Apologies now because I'm going to have a rant and a weep.
I'm due to go back to work in september after taking a year off. I'm a teacher and I took the councils half pay maturnity leave which means that I have to go back to work or I'll have to pay the money back. And we can't afford to pay it back so it gives me no choice at all.

However I had hoped to go back part time. A colleague and a friend of mine whose baby is 6 months older than mine has just gone back to work. She applied for part time but was refused on the grounds that our head doesn't believe in job share and that she had no-one to do a job share with and that he'd have to advirtise. However if i applied and put her down as my job share partner then we might be able to.

So I was fairly happy that this was what would happen.

But yesterday she rang me to say that she's just found out she's pregnant again, and the baby would be due in october - which means she definitly won't be coming back to school in september. She absolutly hated going back full time and said she wouldn't be going back at all even if she wasn't pg. I'm not angry at her at all. She's a good friend of mine and I fully understand how she hasn't been able to cope with a full time teaching job abd bringing up a baby so I've no hard feelings at all about her.

But it does mean I probably will have to go back full time or have no job, no money and owe the council thousands of pounds.

I've done nothing but cry since I found out yesterday and didn't sleep a wink last night. I really really don't want to leave my ds with a stranger just because I have to go back to work.

The irony of it is the deputy head only teaches about 2 days a week and the rest of the time has various supply teachers in to cover her 'very' disruptive class. If I were to be that cover thenthe children would have a much more balanced and structured education, but my head has made his views known and when I've said I think my ds deserves to have his mother for a much as possible he said

'well there's always the holidays'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I hope ds does all his mile stone bits during the hols, when I'm not planning, assessing, doinging records, writing reports or preparing then.

OP posts:

Uwila · 29/03/2006 11:07

Unfortunately, I'm afraid you are not alone in this dilema. Lots of women leave their kids with strangers because they have to bring in some money. Can I get out my violin and whinge about the cost of living inthis country?

I applied fro flexible working for after my DS was born (last May). I wanted to keep a 40 hour week but work 10 hours Mon.-Thurs. leaving Friday for me and my kids. But, it was turned down. I was offered 4 days at 8 hours per day, and I said no thank you becuase I wasn't interested in a permanent change to my contract that made me part time and gave me a reduction in pay. So, I said never mind and I work 5 full days a week.

Lots of people are turned down for flexible working. It is a joke. Another case of the gov't appearing to have done something for working families when in fact they haven't done squat.

Okay, putting the violin away now...

oliveoil · 29/03/2006 11:20

in a way, it could work in your favour.

Your friend may have kept her pregnancy secret so you could have gone into the meeting non the wiser anyway.

If he agrees the job share with your friend, that is one hurdle over. Never mind that you know it can't happen.

If he agrees to a jobshare, surely he wouldn't be able to backtrack.

bundle · 29/03/2006 11:28

uwila, i don't leave my children with strangers, the nursery workers who look after my youngest daughter are friends, i have known a lot of them for 5 years or more, so cut the silly emotive language.

it's a pity that more employers aren't imaginative when it comes to flexible working: 28% of my department (in a large organisation, admittedly) work flexibly. it's viewed as a positive because our work stations "cost" about £10k/yr, and hotdesking by parttimers helps to reduce those overheads. having said that one colleague came to my dept as a "refugee" from another dept because her boss couldn't be bothered to let her work 3 days a week. Because my boss is so flexible (a woman, of course) I am flexible back, I changed the days I worked on to work on particular projects that I enjoy, and that's helped her in return.

agree with olive, get them to sign on the line sharpish...

Uwila · 29/03/2006 11:58

Bundle, read the original post: "I really really don't want to leave my ds with a stranger just because I have to go back to work. "

Her words, not mine.

"Silly emotive language"? Are you criticising that her emotions are involved here?

compo · 29/03/2006 12:06

This happened to a friend of mine. She didn't go back, told them she didn't know she'd have to pay any money back (which was a lie, she cried on the phone etc etc) and they agreed that she could pay the money back by £5 a week I think it was. You could of course convince the gp you've got pND and get signed off sick for 13 weeks

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 12:17

Yes I probably did use silly emotive language because at the time I was feeling rather emotional!

Thats allowed now and again surely!!

OP posts:

FairyMum · 29/03/2006 12:19

When are employers going to wake up to the fact that flexible working is the way forward? IMO flexible and part-time should be a right for new mums AND dads. Both me and DH work flexi and in return our employers get loyal workers who woudln't dream of changing jobs as we already have a perfect balance.

edam · 29/03/2006 12:29

Have you looked at the Dept Trade and Industry website - think the bit you want is called Tiger - for the rules on handling requests for flexible working? Your head must abide by these rules or he is stuffed and asking for a tribunal. Do speak to your union. You need to put your case forward, anticipating and meeting any potential objections, leaving the head as little wriggle room as possible. Agree that your friend's pregnancy could be helpful in that you can get him to agree to the principle of a job share - then he will find it difficult to backtrack.

Also try the Equal Opportunities Commission for advice on this.

But why do you have to job share anyway, can't the school just appoint a part-time employee? Check that out with union.

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 12:48

Thanks edam - it's good to be doing something constructive instead of feeling sorry for myself (silly woman - iknow!)

OP posts:

gomez · 29/03/2006 12:52

I actually wouldn't agree to a job-share if you want to work part-time - the concept and the constraints are very different.

The Head can't just say it will be too difficult, he has to prove it, so that might require him to advertise the post for example and then fail to attract suitable candidates. Increased administrative costs are not allowable as reasons as far as I understand. Within the school their is a precedent of a teacher (i.e. depute head) not undertaking a full weeks teaching contract - the reasons are immaterial if the Heads argument against is that it disrupts the children.

Be clear about what you want, don't let him bully and make sure you follow the corret procedures which will allow you to appeal and involve the LEA if needs be.

Good luck.

edam · 29/03/2006 12:55

You are NOT silly, it's a very distressing situation. Second Gomez, think he can't push you into job share as the only option. But check DTI website and union.

Uwila · 29/03/2006 13:18

Of course you are not being silly. Parenting is very serious business.

Blu · 29/03/2006 13:39

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 13:45

Thanks for all your comments they have been very helpful and I feel lots more positive.

The frustration i'm feeling is about the thought of being made to go back full time by an unhelpful head when my dp and I can afford (just) for me to be part time.

Have rung my union and had to leave a message on the amswer phone - so I'm hoping they will contact me asap.

Don't suppose if anyone knows if the unions go on holiday (like the schools) over easter for 2 weeks?

OP posts:

Uwila · 29/03/2006 13:45

Blu is right, you don't need to think of childcare as strangers. There are lots of lovely care providers out there. You just need to choose one you are comfortable with.

bundle · 29/03/2006 13:46

thanks blu, of course I wasn't calling her feelings silly, it was the use of the word stranger which I was calling silly. I have been incredibly lucky wrt flexible working and would wish the same for everyone going back to work, honestly. Indeed, one of my colleagues now works part-time, term-time and spends all the school holidays with her daughter. My SIL is a teacher and she works part time and is head of her dept. I think once employers take a leap of faith and see that it can work, and want it to work, then it will. (my boss is off today because her elderly mum is sick, tbh we all just pitch in & help each other when anything domestic comes up)
I really hope jmum6 can sort something out.

bundle · 29/03/2006 13:47

I have a friend who works for Amicus, I don't think they have v long holidays, so they should be around.

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 14:05

Has anyone dreaded going back full time but then found they actually enjoyed it?

OP posts:

RedTartanLass · 29/03/2006 14:17

I went back to work on Monday, and loved it!!! I work in the same town as you. Came back happy and refreshed!! A lot easier than being at home with 2 wee ones!!

Honestly! However, now off sick!!!

Emma7 · 29/03/2006 14:32

Only just found this thread. I am in a similar situation but have only just gone on maternity leave (baby due 22nd April). I asked my head before I left if there was any chance that I could go back 3 days a week - he said that with PPA cover etc it was a strong possibility. I am in a slightly better position as I am in a school with several part time teachers already and the head knows that it works. But someone has to be first in your school and if it takes a battle then so be it you will be helping others in the future. Definately use your union - I have found them helpful in the past. I don't see how he can refuse your request really - he is probably hoping that you will just back down.

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 14:33

Oh dear!! You work in Wiltshire?

OP posts:

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 14:36

Hi Emma7 thats good, I've friends who jobshare and others that cover PPA so I know it works.

I'm still waiting for the union rep to ring me back, so fingers crossed!

OP posts:

anniemac · 29/03/2006 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Uwila · 29/03/2006 17:26

Oh yes, when our nanny says DS sat up today, I say "No he didn't. I wasn't here." :)

So now she says things like "DS didn't pull himself up today. Just thought you'd like to know."

Original poster

jmum6 · 29/03/2006 20:32

Uwila and annimac - good points. I've calmed down a lot since this morning. Ds has taken ill throughout the day, he's now being sick and has a fever which has kind of put things into perspective a bit.

Will try to go back part time and will use the union but at the end of the day I want to be with ds more than work, so will go back for the time it takes to pay mat money back, and then who knows - I'll either have hated it and leave or find I cope well and stay.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4