Is it me..............??

[mammasmadhouse]

I have worked in my current post for 3.5 years. Earlier on in the year I applied for another post, which I did'nt get. I told my boss about the interview because where I work is very much old school and there were people there who I know he has dealings with. After a day sulking it was made clear that he was ticked off and the majority of the office knew this too. I was quite honest and discussed why I had applied etc and he said that he would look to change my role. He took an element of my work off my saying it was too basic and told the dept he was looking to create a role for me - never happened. On mumerous occasiosn he has said he will review my jd (I have never promted him) but again never happneed.I recently asked if I could apply for a post on a secondment basis and was told I could but that my return route could not be guarenteed, but I could look to take on xyz and be potentially upgraded.
I feel so de skilled and undervalued at the moment, and am generally exhausted by trying to work out whether it is him or me . He does like the sound of his own voice and generally thinks he is gods gift and like people to pander to him rather than be honest which I found out to my cost,but never in all my years of working have I felt so unworthy and I really dont know what to do anymore. Driving to work this morning I felt so upset at the thought of another day but I am not sure if I am being over sensitive about this. Any thoughts...??

Have you pro actively asked him what he's going to do and when etc rather than just waiting for him to take the initiative (you mentioned he said he'd change your jd - have you followed up on this in 1-2-1s?). Are there projects / pieces of work you'd like to undertake, if so can you suggest to him you would like to do these?

Sounds like he may be lazy and you need to drag him along a bit? If there is still no progress I'd consider other options in/externally.

Good luck!

Are you familiar with setting "smart" goals? Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timebound. Perhaps work out yourself what you want within your current organsation - eg promotion, or a sideways move: there should be JDs freely available to you. Then work out how you would achieve this, and by when. Eg, 'create a project to resolve this issue, and if I spend 50% of my time on it then in 3 months time the benefit to our section will be blah blah '; or 'join Section Y full-time for 6 months to learn about system Z, and the experience and knowledge I come back with will enable me to set up a system in our section to solve [insert his biggest problem here] and deliver [insert business benefit here].' Then arrange a meeting with your boss, and make a proposal to him along these lines.

He probably has neither the time nor inclination to manage your career for you (and why should he?). But if you present him with a plan, who knows where you could be in 1 year's time? Good luck.

"I told my boss about the interview because where I work is very much old school and there were people there who I know he has dealings with". Surely the interviewer could not tell your boss as this information is confidential is it not? Would it not be against data protection for the interviewer to reveal the names of the interviewees?

3 huge glaring problems leap out from the OP:

1. "I told my boss about the interview because ..." - no one should be telling your boss gossip about who's applying for roles. If they do, you take it up with them. You don't march to your boss and basically announce you're looking to move elsewhere. That's the sort of stuff people did 30 years ago. Not now. Loyalty is to yourself, not your boss or your company.

2. "I recently asked if I could apply for a post on a secondment basis" - why were you asking his permission? Isn't the role open to applications? Why would you need his ok?

3. "On mumerous occasiosn he has said he will review my jd (I have never promted him)" - why haven't you prompted him? It's in your interests to. By all means don't remind him weekly, but at your regular catch ups (monthly, quarterly, whatever) this is the time you should be raising it as a point of information.

In essence, the OP appears to think that her manager is the one who will steer her career path. OP, it's not. Not only does it, most likely, gain him nothing (aside from an employee who disappears off on a secondment or whatever), unless he's being ranked in a 360 review or YOUR performance impacts his... he's probably got more important things to be doing than steering your career.

Take a stance on where you want to go, how you need to get there, and then come up with the SMART goals that have already been mentioned. You might also want to note "Needs support of X" alongside each goal. Because if a goal depends on your boss, you need to flag that. And reiterate again and again what you need from him.