Colleague 'blew the whistle' on boss to protect me - feel awful

[lololizzy]

I have a fairly new manager who got off to a very good start.Very conscientious and a real people person. It all changed when this summer she started an affair with a married man in a company two buildings down (not connected to our business).
Since then it's been a nightmare, and everyone is covering for her workload or having to cover if anyone rings for her. Reason being that she's conducting this affair in worktime. I don't think she ever sees him out of work hours. She's so obsessed, her brain has gone to mush and standards are slipping, she doesnt seem to care about the job anymore, and makes a lot of mistakes as well
We all like this woman , this is the problem. But we're all getting fed up. We never judged her for the affair, none of us are perfect. The problem was her literally taking it to work (he's in and out of our building all day, or they're meeting up on the street or car park).She will disappear for hours at a time, and often wouldn't announce she was popping out.
She's never talked to me about it (has to one colleague only - ironically the one to blow the whistle ) but obviously she knows we all know (i mean , he comes to our kitchen several times a day to have coffee with her, and we are a small space!) and they are not discreet anyway. The small amount of time she's in work her mind isn't in it and she's just texting or phoning him.
So it came to a head today, when area manager rang and wanted to know why figures are all time low. Why such and such hasn't been done, etc. I ended up taking the rap for it, and I work really bloody hard. I am performance monitored., so what she does (or doesn't do) is reflecting on me , big time. Manager is off all this week btw. Also she had left me a rather snippy note, which was very hypercritical. ( concerning things she's actually done wrong herself, or wrongly accused me of doing, etc)
Colleague (who manager had confided in) saw i was annoyed at the unfairness of it all, also she's sick of having to cover for her or do her workload (this colleague is elderly too with health problems)
So when i went out on an errand today, this colleague made a phone call to our line manager and told them everything. This line manager will be talking to our area manager (the one that gave me the grief this morning)
I know the shit's going to hit the fan, big time. I am dreading the fall out, to be honest. I know i'm too soft but did she (whistle blower) do the right thing? Should we have approached her (manager) first and warned her to keep her personal business out of work hours, instead of blabbing something so personal that could potentially get her sacked for gross misconduct? Should we have asked her first, to stop involving us?
Also that the colleague did it out of a sense of duty to me. So if she walks (due to 'betraying' our manager) , i will feel responsible and i have lost a good workmate (not to mention having more workload). If they both stay, there'll be a bad atmosphere because the woman she confided in her blew the whistle on her.
But, we couldn't go on like this. It's been hard for months and I've had to keep my mouth shut.
It's horrible because i get on with everyone i work with. I just want to be able to go in and do my job. I hate all the gossip and politics.

It hunk your colleague was right to do so

Perhaps she had mentioned it to the manager already

This is a workplace, not a social club. Your manager seems to have forgotten that she needs to do some work for the business to make money so they can pay her!

This is your livelihood on the line. There is no way you should be taking the rap

Your manager is has behaved appallingly, your colleague did the right thing.

• is

I agree, your colleague did the right thing.
Maybe she could have talked directly to the manager first, but as she's away this week that wasn't an option.
Whatever the fall out, your conscience should be clear because you didn't make the call and you didn't break her confidence.
The situation could not continue as it was.

Your workmate was more responsible than a manager and a team put together: of course it wasn't wrong to blow the whistle!

As for having "taken the rap" : why? Are you actually crazy?

Sorry to be so harsh, but I get fed up heating about irresponsible behaviour at work which managers allow. A manager who actually created the problem deserves a (metaphorical) kick!

i took the rap because I was put on the spot (having to explain why figures were shockingly low last week and the place is such a shambles etc) but I tried dropping a few hints and sticking up for myself. She's (A.M.) certainly got the message now

Your colleague did the right thing. The shit will hit the fan, and it will be your managers fault, not yours.

Thank goodness someone on the team did something about this. It was absurd to allow the manager to put everyone's jobs at risk in such a reckless manner - she clearly couldn't care less about any of you or your families, so why are you worrying about her getting into trouble for acting like an irresponsible and selfish teenager?

Taking the rap was an idiotic thing to do. Your boss is letting everyone down and you should thank the whistle blower for taking action. If it comes down to the higher ups wanting verification you had better make sure you back up what your colleague said.

What everyone said.
Your colleague has done the right thing.

Your manager obviously doesn't care about the welfare of her staff, as she wouldn't put them into this situation in the first place and allow them to take the rap for their slackness. So don't waste your time thinking of her.

I would support your colleague abit more - she has done a very difficult thing. She was right to do it.

Your colleague's assessment of the situation was correct. There are some things you could potentially take to a manager in order to raise concerns, but shagging some guy on the job and openly conducting an affair in the office is definitely not one of them.

You are not paid to take the fall for her. She has a responsibility to your employer that she has fallen down on extremely seriously. She's lost the plot and there should be serious repercussions for her.

Look at it this way: what your colleague has done is protect the company. That happens to have protected you too, and was the motivation for doing it. But this is a completely unacceptable situation that has to be addressed.

Line manager rang today and asked to speak to colleague.
She said (to her) that it is going to be termed / treated as Whistleblowing (the official name for it in my line of work, which will 'out' my line of work if any MNetters work in this company! We had a meeting recently just on Whistleblowing and had a whole campaign / awareness of it recently) and therefore taken seriously.
I think she will leave me out of it, which is a relief. I was covering other areas when most of this was happening (that sounds cowardly but it's a fact!) When I came back I realised something was seriously wrong and how the business was affected. As I am performance monitored it has serious implications for me, hence having to try and explain it to AM yesterday which I could not do fully due to some misguided loyalty to this girl.
The colleague will hold her hands up to it and not go anon. She said she could see how I was working very hard and could not stand to see me blamed. We have worked our guts out, so it is grossly unfair.
The A.M. will ring tomorrow to take statements from my colleague. She wants to know many details eg how long it's been going on for etc.
I still feel a 'bit' sorry for this girl having it dragged through the mud, but remind myself a/ she got paid to conduct this affair b/ when i had problems at work, she was never v supportive or sympathetic.
I guess i just hate confrontations and bad atmospheres and hope at least some dust will have settled when i return. However, for me, it could mean her being suspended and me having to work 7 days a week till they replace her (this happened last time was without a manager)

I am supportive of colleague. she has balls of steel! She has been in tears over this because she likes us both and feels guilty but couldn't carry on covering for the girl / doing extra work (she is elderly/ poor health) or seeing me suffer //be blamed when I work so hard and do things by the book. Colleague is 'wise older woman' been there, done that. Boss confided in her because colleague admitted to her that early in her marriage (when she was v young) she had an affair. But, colleague was trying to help and warn her...especially to keep it away from work. This girl (boss) is young, intelligent and attractive and it could ruin her life. Very strict upbringing, religion that doesn't 'allow' for this sort of thing, colleague was looking out for her. The girl's mother is condemning her and was ringing shouting abuse down phone. But boss dug her heels in even more.
The shit will hit the fan because boss confided in my colleague. So boss will see it as a massive betrayal. Also he (man involved) yelled at my colleague a few weeks ago. If he comes into our work and does that because of this, i will call the police. However I am going to be away for two weeks. I hope it is dealt with quickly . Would rather that boss was suspended until they make a decision, which i think is most likely rather than keep her on with it hanging. They willl need to get cover as will have no management there with her suspended and me on annual leave. More chaos to come back to!

Thing is, though, there's been no real breach of confidence. It has been blatantly obvious what's been going on, and your colleague should have involved the Area Manager when the guy shouted at her, never mind when all this came to light.

The fact that it could ruin your boss' life is completely irrelevant. No-one made her conduct an affair on work time. And actually the fact it was an affair is not the issue. The fact was, she was frequently absent, she was not focused on work when she was there, and she was pressuring her staff to cover up for her. Furthermore she's invited a personal acquaintance frequently into the office, who has proceeded then to be verbally abusive to a member of staff.

Those are all facts, not speculation based on a private confession of having an affair. She should be dealt with on the basis of these facts, of the failure of her professional responsibility. The length of the affair is not the issue. The length of her misconduct is.

I think it is extremely likely she will be suspended pending an investigation.

How the hell did her lover dare to shout at someone in his lovers workplace! This all sounds like it has been extremely damaging.

In my line of work I would be suspended just for bringing a non-employee into my workplace.

It sounds like the place is already in chaos and the longer it was left the longer it would take to clean up.

My Dad always said about work 'don't shit on your own doorstep' ie keep work at work and personal at personal. Your boss should not have been having an affair at work and she should not have been confiding in your colleague. Totally inappropriate

Jesus this all sounds horribly stressful for you both. And your boss as well tbh. What a nightmare. TBH as hard as it all is now I think it is good that it has come out into the open. Hopefully they can resolve it (and you won't be left in the lutrch if you have no manager for a while).

our business is retail (his is not) and that is how we first met him, as a customer. Well, browser, I don't recall him ever buying anything. So that is how he comes into our workplace. However, over the last few months he just saunters into back room, office, kitchen and yard. Boss and he spend most of time out on service road / yard. He yelled at colleague off the premises. Boss should've been working, colleague needed her. She called to her over the fence but in a jokey fashion (using nickname she uses on everyone inc me, said affectionately) which he took wrong way (to be an insult) and erupted. Absolutely lost it. This happened by but off the premises. Next day he came in tail between his legs and profusely apologised to colleague. She accepted ( i wouldn't have) but now we know he has another side to him.
I am pretty sure i will end up working 7 days a week for a while because of this if she's suspended. Maybe 6 if i can grovel to get one days cover (so hard,area very short staffed) but i doubt less than 6 a week. So am really going to make most of this hol!

The main reason business has suffered so much, is that since her affair, only a small percentage of stock has gone out. I was covering other stores most of the time and then had a week off so I wasn't really aware. Came back and didn't recognise the place , the chaos or how poorly stocked. Got questioned by A.M. yesterday , who is very concerned. Told her i was v concerned too and not happy. After that call, colleague made the whistle blow call.

I think the most annoying thing is, her frequent disappearings without telling us. She would be in and out all day long, meeting him or going to his work. She would just disappear without telling a soul. As we have a back door, it was easy to do if we were all in shop. And there were a few near emergencies and we did not know where she was exactly. Or we'd have to lie if someone phoned for her. Also the job is very responsible (eg vulnerable / SN adults or teenagers on work experience /placements) and she would leave them unattended. Even till unattended once, so customers could not pay. That was the last straw really and we should've spoke out then.

This could not continue and I think the colleague who whistleblew can see everyone suffering and thought enough is enough.
Hope it gets sorted out calmly and sensibly and everyone behaves like adults and not love-sick teens.

mmmmm I'm wondering if you work for same company as my DP...

To set your mind at rest, it's called whistleblowing everywhere, especially in the public sector. Hope you get your time off ok.

Thanks, Will get my time off, it's the coming back I'm worried about, as was in this situation for most of the last year, having to work 6 or 7 days a week due to staff shortage!

erm..you can say NO sometimes!

You sound very conscientious though.

What a good job your colleague has reported this, because you seem to have been something of a doormat. No-one wants a confrontation, but taking the blame for falling productivity when it's nothing to do with you if full blown stupid. Really. You need to start standing up for yourself.

Never mind the affair, your boss has been utterly negligent of her duties! Your colleague has done the right thing - you shouldn't have needed to warn the boss about the consequences of her actions, it's blatantly obvious that she's not doing the job properly and even in her hormone-addled state she must have known that. She was taking the piss royally, first by her actions and then by just expecting you all to cover for her.

Good for your colleague doing the right thing.