RETURNING TO WORK IN LONDON - LIVE IN SURREY - how do you manage??

[Butterfly81]

Just want some general advice re. going back to work and the dealing with the commute. Childcare arrangements are still being confirmed but not sure if 9 - 5 is going to work better than 10 - 6. What a nightmare....panic attacks....

Don't know if this will help,

I have just gone back to work from maternity leave (this is my second week back, DD is 10 month). I live in Surrey and commute to central London, I work 4 days a week (in London 3 day and at home 1 day). I work from 9am - 5.30pm and have a nanny from 7.30am - 7pm. When I was looking for childcare, I found that no nuseries or childminder will do such long hours, so nanny was my only choice.

It is been really though to leave work on time at 5.30pm everyday but we don't have any family near by so I have no choice. Work has been ok with it so far but I can see it can be stressful if we have a deadline.

However, it has not been half as bad as I thought it would be. I have been having the nanny for half a day each week for 3 months to get settle DD in. I feel the 3 days in London is the right balance and enjoy reading during my commute. In in ideal world I would love to have a short commute but my job will not be as well paid outside London.

I'm not sure what specifically you are asking but there are probably thousands of women commuting from all over Surrey to London for work so it's certainly not impossible! I have done various combinations of days over the years as our boys have been growing up. I presume 9-5 or 10-6 are your working hours with commute on top. How long will that be? I am guessing that, depending on what kind of childcare you use, you will need at least 8-6 and probably longer. Nursery will be difficult as most close at 6 and most childminders want to finish around that time, certainly not easy to find ones who go on to 7. For longer days out of the home, a nanny is probably your best, although expensive, solution. Can you afford a nanny? Or a nanny share with another family?

Will you be working full-time? If there is an option to do some work from home or work in the evenings in order to spend some time with your DC, I would grab that.

It's also good if possible to have some back-up plan for what will happen if you need to go in early for a meeting, get stuck on the train (not a frequent occurrence on my line but tends to go in phases - nothing for a month, then twice in one week) or have to pick up your child from childcare. Do you have a DP who can do some drop-offs/pick-up? Any local family? Or friend who would help out in an emergency?

First answer is that in most families, one parent does the drop off (working 10-6 ) and the other the pickup (working 8-4). If you are a single parent then yes it is much harder. When I was a simple parent I made sure that one of my office days was Thursday as it meant the ex had to do the school/nursery run that day iyswim.

Some nurseries in Surrey do 730-6.30. It's much easier when they are younger, when they are in school it is much worse.

How far out are you?

I work near Liverpool Street Station - live near Woking. I live with family but they cannot care for bambino full time and I have hardly any help anyways, she has been largely glued to me. So childcare am looking for 3 days a week, not necessarily complete full days but inlaws can help a little bit on either side of the day. I am hoping to do drop off so I can at least feed her breakfast and spend time with her before I go.

Work won't let me do 4 day week in office and 1 day at home so am thinking of doing full time for 6 months and then go part time, 3 days - will see what they say.

It will be really really useful for you if your inlaws can do the pickup/ drop-off thing at one end of the day - will give you more flexibility in terms of what childcare you choose. And also peace of mind when southwest trains goes t**s up!

Could you maybe work slightly shorter days than the standard 8 hours? I think this will make things much easier for you. Maybe you could take a shorter lunch?

I have just gone back to work after 2 years off with my two children. I also commute in from Surrey. It's a bit of a shock to the system but not nearly so bad as I imagined it would be. You can do it and you might even enjoy having some 'you' time e.g., on the commute, at lunches.

I live just outside Guildford and commute into London. I found it really hard to adjust to commuting again at first, but like everything, you get used to it after a while.

Am lucky that my husband takes my daughter to school, she goes to childminder after school and my husband picks her up at 6.

As someone else mentioned, the commute CAN be a good time to read and relax a little!