Complex, direction needed. Flowers & wine on offer!

[BitStuck]

Sorry this is an EPIC, complicated tale. and for anyone who perseveres!

I'm breaking this into two posts, one setting the background and the other to outline the current issues.

PART ONE

A few years BC, I developed a part time hobby business in my qualified area and worked part-time PAYE in a different field. Both roles were social/community orientated and together, were my way of returning to work having been signed off for about a year recovering from burn-out. This had occurred through intense family tragedy and caring commitments of a family member with a serious long term illness, who relied on me for a great deal for support due to bad experiences with their care (serious complaint, judicial review in our favour). I had full support from my DP & Dr and my PAYE work enabled me to make some good out of the tragedy my family had been through.

I folded the hobby business when DC came along and developed the PAYE role further, with on the job training. After a while however, I gave up my job due to both mine and DP's overlapping requirements to work away more and more, together with a period of more intense caring issues.

I am now keen to return to work after a total of 3 years SAHMing, and here is where I need the wonderful advice and support of the lovely MNrs.

Returning to my old job, even freelance, is out. Too intense and emotionally draining and I need a fresh start and ideally gradual re-entry. I may return at some stage, as I still feel I have something to contribute.

So I'm looking at my original area (linked to hobby business) which is competitive at the best of times. I looked at this last year and submitted a project idea to an authority in the field. This was initially to gauge potential and source support and contacts. It got passed around with all positive feedback and I was invited to submit an expression of interest for start-up funding, which was unexpected and really encouraging.

The project concept is pretty unique, has scope to develop and is an area I am passionate about. It will also be likely to be part time. However, I wasn't able to progress at the time (due to health & caring issues) but it may be possible now, if it weren't for several ishoos....

Part Two to follow!

PART TWO

Right, now for the ishoos:

1. Revisiting the project plan feels very difficult, like I need a bit of hand holding as keen to ensure I learn from previous mistakes, and to go over figures before submission. TBH I am lacking in confidence, mostly due to having been out of action for such a while, having stalled the process already and a history of stop-starting myself. But I know I will always regret it if I don't give it a go, or at least explore it a bit further.

1. It may be a tougher one to start since we have gone back into recession, as it is leisure related, but with societal value (which is where the funding element sits) but it will stretch me, taking me out of my comfort zone to set up a company or vol org (requirement for funding) which is all new territory (previously a sole trader).

1. It is likely only to ever be part time, will mean working weekends with a big investment of start-up time (which DP is wary about). I've no idea how we will be affected by the change in benefit system as we currently depend on HB & TC.

1. I am concerned setting something up on my own will leave the project vulnerable to my caring circumstances.

Other Options
These aspects lead me to think perhaps I should bin it and look to be part of an established team doing something else completely, who can take me on with full awareness that on occasions, I may need time off to deal with family emergencies, which may happen more often than for other employees.

It's possible I could seek this in a different field entirely, one option through a private and growing company who interviewed me a few years back and really liked me (final 2 of many). They obviously chose the other candidate but seemed keen to want to bear me in mind for future vacancies (they didn't have to say this so hope it wasn't a fob off). They don't however know about my caring commitments or DC.

Impact of Caring
A lot of progress has been made over the years in terms of my relative's ability to manage their illness and things seem to be stable at the moment, but various situations can and do occur where my support is needed, although full relapse/hospitalisation is often avoided. I am trying very hard to help move my relative into a better position/outlook, but it is slow progress since it is very complex.

So it's here I am conflicted, because I feel I am not being fair on an employer/funder if I am not open about the challenges my caring role may present, based on the history. Particularly if I were to find employment with a small firm or charity with few resources. But I also feel this is a negative way to view a person's recovery and future - i.e. dependent, as with the right treatment and support the illness should be manageable, though always with risk of relapse, particularly since previous care issues.

A lot of people would say not to mention anything until having accepted an offer but tbh this would feel wrong, like I was hiding something, so as I am easily read I probably wouldn't get an offer any way! So many businesses are struggling and I would want to be in a position to help not hinder.

I guess I am struggling to find a path through that is realistic but not pessimistic.

So where do I go from here? I feel like I need to express all this in RL but don't know who to! I think I need a mentor, or coach or something

< crosses fingers for slightly less hardcore rightwing responses than seen on here of late >

What do you reckon?

(there should be a bottle emoticon)

All responses truly valued and apologies in advance if I am slow to reply.

My take is that, I think whatever anyone comes up with, you'll have a reason why that is not the perfect solution. You're looking for the perfect solution to a complicated situation and that doesn't exist. I do this, I research and research and research, get stacks of information, and then look for the answer. Only it isn't there. Because nothing is ideal. From that I've learnt to instead think what does my intuition say, what feels right, what feels wrong, then do that are put all other options out of my mind and never beat myself up for that choice. I still do the research thing, but I guess I've made peace with the decision making bit. Is that at all helpful?

Thanks Alice, that was quick!

I do know what you mean. My intuition has been telling me it is definately time for taking action so I'm not sat here overthinking it all lol. I don't know why I am putting so much pressure on the decision. I guess I am raw still from having had to let work/projects go in order to be there for my relative (which I don't resent) and aware of the real impact of this, on myself and others.

Hesitant to put myself back in a position where I feel I'm letting people down all the time. But hoping (wildly?) there my be other aspects and sources of support I haven't considered yet.

Do you/anyone have experience with the funding side of things - is there anywhere I can go for impartial support in putting a funding bid together? Having another view on the project plan would really help.

As would knowing people's experiences of discussing impact of caring roles with employers / and or funders.

There used to be places to go for advice. I imagine there are less now the Tories have had their way. I can only suggest google, but yes such things do exist. There have been projects specifically focusing in helping women in that way.

Oh yes - I guess CVS would be a good place to start if I go down the vol route (if they are still there).

I forgot about them - used to work in the same office as one years ago.

I guess I'm really leaning towards the company route and not thinking of myself as a charity yet. How do people decide which way to go?

What I really could do with is someone setting my project up for me and offering me a job on it in about a years time when I've dusted the cobwebs from my brains

I wonder how many people that has ever happened to, not many I should think.

You know you could be a social enterprise? Middle ground and more zeitgeist I'd say. Although I've not heard the Tories mention them, but they have all the hallmarks of being their kind of thing.

That's another good suggestion I hadn't considered

Does social enterprise = CIC?

I must say it does probably fit into that kind of thing quite neatly. Has potential to get local businesses involved and working together for the causes of the funding authority.

Can I be one on my own do you know, or do I need a board?

Thank you Alice, coming to MN with this was a good idea to give me a shove and get thinking proactively, rather than forever procastinating.

And don't feel obliged to answer all my questions btw- as you identified earlier - I am the sort who will always have LOADS and has to have answers to them all before taking any decisions in case I've missed anything

I blame a book I once picked up in order to help improve my decision making called Decision Thinking or something. OMG it's an OCD procastinators dreamcometrue nightmare as it totally validates the deep thinking processes around the actual making of decisions. Reckons they are totally different skills and you need both skill sets to make proper business decisions

Don't know what CIC is...

Not sure re social enterprise board but I would wager you'd need a board. You'd need to be able to demonstrate that there was wider community engagement and that would be one way. Am speculating slightly though.

From one procrastinator to another, stop it and get doing! the perfect solution isn't out there. Once you get doing, things will work themselves out and you can do step at a time rather than have every answer to everything at the start. Planning good, but there's limits.

Hello bitstuck it sounds like you are in a similar position to me, I am currently operating freelance, but setting up a social enterprise to carry work forward in the future.

Do go to your local CVS, ours is very good on funding, they have huge databases of potential funders. In terms of mentoring, I think you'd be better off identifying someone like an old boss, or senior partner from a colleague organisation, people in the vol sec are usually v happy to do that sort of thing.

In terms of social enterprise there is advice on legal structures on the Internet, but basically you can be a sole trader, a LLP (limited liability partnership) or a company limited by guarantee or a CIC. The only thing you really can't do is have shareholders that get a dividend from the business (that includes you as a sole trader btw) as all profits should be ploughed into your social purpose. But if course you can pay yourself whatever you choose. Only some of the structures (CIC & clg) require you to have a board.

Wrt your caring obligations, I would think if you are working for yourself then you are not obliged to tell anyone else, funders won't want to know, they would factor in the risk of you being a one-man-band when deciding whether to offer you funding, after all you might fall under a bus for all they know.

The only word of caution I would have is that the funding environment right now is very tight, but that doesn't mean that there isn't still funding out there for good ideas.

Hth.

Alice

Hello TheFowlAndThePussycat, thanks for your reply and info, also very helpful.

A good thing about my project is the start up costs potentially could be quite small, esp if I see development time as a hobby/interest/investment in self. So the getting funding thing has delivered a whole new set of things to think about.

It would make a lovely college project, and there is a local college with links to the funding authority, so I should also make enquiries there- I might get help from students? Or become one again........total refresher of skills and a self-made job to walk into at the end of it?

oh here I go again Alice

Yes. Support from previous vol sector person would be great. I can think of one, and if they are willing to help me, then that does give me the totally inpartial viewpoint I need, instead of taking it to someone who may have a vested interest in the project outcome (which would be another private sector employer I can think of in the same area), which may potentially skew the wider/social interests. Which is another excuse I have made to be stuck and not do anything

Good luck with your project