You probably don't may remember me from posting back in January upon returning from mat leave (although it was prolonged to just over 1.5 years as I was signed off work for pg) that I couldn't cope with the workload and all the extra stuff I needed to do in addition to my time in school teaching (parents evenings, planning, marking etc etc)
I've been back now for several months and this week returning after the summer break I'm just feeling really down about how rubbish I feel I am in my job. Pre preg I just feel like I got all my classes to behave as I wanted and I had respect from both staff and students in the school. I had a very good reputation in the school as a teacher. Now I've returned from mat leave for some time, and given myself plenty of time to get back to teaching etc, I'm just finding I can't control the students and I have no idea why! It's like any respect I had I've lost. Sometimes I'd come home and cry at the fact the students just don't listen to me and I can't get through to them. I try different management techniques but I can't get through to them. I've never really had this problem ever before (apart from a short time with only a couple of classes soon after I first qualified).
It's really getting me down. I used to love my job and I'm a bit of a perfectionist and used to have time to do so much extra prep and work to do things as well as I could. I just can't do that now I have an 18mo, and I struggle to even keep my head above water, and feel like I'm constantly behind. I rely on family for childcare so my hours are limited to when I teach in school and I have very little time away from school to do any work.
Maybe this is just beginning of term-itis and things will settle down, but, tbh I haven't felt like I'm doing a decent job since I returned despite doing by best within the time I have. I've made a couple of serious errors in the last term (that I don't want to go into) and it's really made me feel down. I've always had confidence issues in my ability despite always having positive feedback in lesson observations. I just feel like any knack I may have had in the past has gone.
The reason for this post other than just a moan is has anyone else experienced this when returning to work? I'm feeling so down that I'll never get the students to 'get' me and my teaching and I can't believe how differently they behave compared to how they used to. I keep thinking I must be doing something terribly wrong. Or just any thoughts you had from reading this.
Oh, and I work just over 2 days a week, so it's not like I'm full time of anything 