So, this time in 2 years I want to be going back to work or education (or both!), but other than knowing I have plenty of time to prepare, I feel like I have every other barrier in the way and I'm not sure which ones can be overcome. Sorry if this is a bit long and rambly, I just need to get it down and I could really use any advice.
Firstly, I have found a course/job/career path which I think would suit me down to the ground and fit around my family perfectly. There is a large accountancy firm in the city who had representatives at a career fair and they encouraged me to apply for their 'School Leavers' program and there were no age restrictions. This would give me a chance to have a salary while training so we could afford childcare or DH could be a SAHD for a while, I'd be able to learn on the job and presuming I could impress them, there would be a career at the end which could take me almost anywhere. Even if that is just renting a 3 bed semi near the nice schools in 10 years. I started reading into it and thinking 'yes, I could do this!'.
Then I found out I was pregnant 3 days later. This was a relief to be honest as we wanted a second child but I didn't know how long I was prepared to put my life on hold waiting to get pregnant. Said DC2 is due at the end of December and will be 18-19 months old in Sept 2014 (DC1 will be 3.6 and some months so eligible for 15 hours of free childcare).
However, I think the positions available are going to be really competitive and I don't think I look as good on paper as a fresh-faced school leaver.
I was part of the first group to take A2 levels in 2002 and pulled off BCC (Psychology, Maths, English Lit) which just meets their requirements. I've got 10 good GCSEs (A-C) including A in Maths and English Lang/Lit. Maths is my strong point, but I like to think my english skills are pretty solid as well. I've got a very chequered work history ? between the ages of 14 and 22, I was working somewhere or other, but then there was a bit of a rough patch. I've dropped out of university twice ? once at 19 from Computer Science (wrong course, to be fair I still don't know what the right course would have been but I just couldn't do the hardware and lost interest, even when I was doing pretty well at programming, maths and business) while I was working part time. Then when I was 22, I moved away from my friends and DH to study adult nursing, things happened and my mental health deteriorated to the point where I had to move back for support.
Over the next couple of years, I could put down that I managed 3 weeks working in a call centre and 6 weeks working in a cafe, but I don't want to face too many questions about why I didn't manage to stick to anything (I genuinely wasn't well enough to work, especially in jobs around people which A4E and the job centre pointed me towards). I was never actually diagnosed with any specific condition (not as simple as just a blood test), but after a couple of years, getting signed off so I had time to get better and a few different combination of pills, things were a lot brighter: I was under GP care and then I found myself an unpaid work placement doing admin with a large employer which I loved. The plan was to join the temp register, but I found out I was 20 weeks pregnant (yes, it was a bit of a shock!) and last minute, variable childcare didn't look like it was a real thing unless you had nearby family. So I will have a gap of 8 years in my work history where no job lasted longer than 8 weeks and there isn't a reason for the first 4 other than 'mental health' which I don't even know if I should mention or just claim the whole gap as 'caring responsibilities'. The first thing that people tend to ask is 'what were you diagnosed with?' and well, I wasn't. I can't answer that, it doesn't mean my problems were any less real, but generally people are less understanding something that they can't label.
I lack confidence, me and DH have very little money for any extra courses or to run a car or to pay for childcare while I do unpaid work experience, I have a really patchy and out of date work history, we have no nearby family who can help with regular childcare and I haven't been in education for years. But I really want to be able to get my family off benefits, be proud of what I have achieved and maybe open doors for the small ones to give them opportunities we just won't be able to afford if we keep with our current lifestyle (no pity party, but right now we can't afford holidays and a trip to visit a beach or soft play has to be planned around public transport and we can't access a lot of places).
I sent a message to the firm I am most interested in working with asking what skills and work experience they would value for the position and if they had any recommended reading, but they haven't replied. I am worried I may have been a bit naive (yeah, I was fishing, I don't have access to any careers advice and I rather hoped that the company in question would just happily hand out their person specification) and I'm just hoping they forget the message and it won't count against me.
I am really open to suggestions. To be honest, even if anyone can just point me in the direction of good career advice, that would be great. If people honestly think it's an impossible dream, then where else can I go with my background?
I am best at admin type work, but most of the admin jobs I see offered require more experience than I have and the best way to get the experience is by temping. I can't get last minute childcare if I am temping (although maybe I can in a few years time around school if I'm still out of work then). I would love to be a lab assistant, but just don't have the degree or even science A levels that the jobs I have seen ask for. I don't have many friends with careers so I'm not really 'connected' to find out openings that way.
All the free course here that the Sure Start centre offer (with childcare) are along the lines of GCSE foundation maths which I don't think would add anything to my CV (I've done one or two of the childcare courses they offer but I don't get much out of them other than a bit of adult conversation). I would probably be eligible for funding for further or higher education at the college but I would still have to pay 15% of the childcare costs and if DH is still in the same position, we just won't have the money (it's not a matter of saving in other places ? our household income can vary by up to £300 on a bad month as DH is on a 0 hour contract, our rent is £100/month higher than the LHA and anywhere else we moved privately, the commuting costs would be higher than the difference in rent even before moving costs and a new deposit are taken into account). I seem to be too old for most apprenticeships (28 when the cut off is usually 25).
I've looked into Open University, but I don't know how well distance learning would suit me (although their BSc(Hon) Economics and Mathematical Sciences course is tempting) and I'm not sure how well I could manage the logistics of any residential parts of the course. It's definitely a plan B, but I then wonder if I'd be better trying to go with a scientific subject like molecular biology (in another life I am a scientist, happily doing cool science stuff in my science lab ? I just always thought it would be a pretty cool thing to do). The local university has slightly higher grade requirements than I can offer and I would still have to find money for childcare and travel.
As this message is fairly detailed and this name is pretty new, I accept I may be outed and I am in Norwich with all the opportunities and restrictions this brings.
If you read all that, well done and thank you for any help or advice you can give. I'm feeling a bit guilty for spilling like that, but it feels like I have all this time to prepare but no idea what I really need to do to give myself a good chance of a future career. I always hoped I'd know exactly what I wanted to do when I grew up, but now I am grown up and still don't exactly know.