Have to go back to work but it's breaking my heart!

[Nicki1979]

I start back at work next week and will be leaving my 4 month old daughter with a childminder. Thought I would be at home with her until she started school but to cut a long story short, financially we cannot live on my hubby's salary alone. I don't get maternity pay and our income does not cover our outgoings.

I did try to find a very part time job but they are few and far between. I will be working 8:30-3:00 every day although will have all summer holidays off.

I have an almost 4 year old son who will be at preschool 3 days and with my mum 2 days which I know he will absolutely love but am so worried about missing out with my daughter.

Read lots of posts about mums going back when children are 9 months old and 4 months just seems sooooo young.

Childminder is good and comes very recommended and my daughter has had a few settling in visits but she is essentially still a stranger.

Has anyone else left their child so young?

My friend has and her DD was fine. It was very hard of course...but because the baby was so young, she had the chance to almost grow up with her child minder...she was too young to feel much upset if you see what I mean.

assume you'll be working in a school with those hours?

Yep. I did. But I did it through choice do slightly different. And it was 14 years ago when maternity leave was a lot shorter.

But my DCs are fine by the way. No long term damage.

It must be very hard though, if you want to stay at home but it's not an option. Your dd will be fine, it's you who will find it hard.

Are there no other options? I know you probably have been through this but no chance of cutting back, downsizing, finding out about tax credits, any benefits etc?

I went back when DS1 was 4 months because I had no choice and yes it was hard and I missed him, but truly he was fine. If you have to go back try not to feel too sad about it, once you get into the swing of it you'll be fine.

Mind you with DS2 he was 8 months and I still felt sad and guilty, but I think that is just how it is.

She will be fine, and you will feel guilty and will miss her but that's how it is! I'm a childminder and have looked after little babies, I gave them lots of attention and care. I have a little 6 month old girl now and every morning the mum has tears in her eyes, but the little girl is fine. She gets to play with other children, my 2 kids adore her, and she gets lots of tlc. Your daughter will be fine.