Help! Have I made the right decision?

[OneLargeGreenLeaf]

I'm going back to work in a couple of weeks and my baby DD will be 9 months old. I'm going to be doing just over 26 hours, which was going to be split over 3 and 1/2 days. This is a minimum I can do in terms of bringing home enough money.

My DD will be looked after by family 1 day and then in nursery the other days (7:30am-3:30pm when my DH will collect her). On the half day, I wouldn't be able to get back to pick her up until about 1:30pm, which means she'd still have been doing 6 hours at nursery.

In the last few days I've contacted my manager to request I work my hours over 3 longer days and she's agreed to this. This means I'll now have 2 whole days with my DD, which I'm really pleased about but I'm worried about the realities of what I've signed up for.

I have a 45-55 min commute into work. Working longer days, this means I won't get home until 6:30ish. My DH is lucky enough to finish work early so he'd be able to pick her up about 3:30pm. But my DD seems to need a lot of sleep and an early bed time, so it's very likely that she will already be asleep by the time I get home. I'm also breastfeeding still, so will miss the before bed feed (I think I'll pump to keep my supply up for the days I'm with her). I'll have to leave the house early too so I'd probably not get a chance to be the one who takes her to nursery or spend more that 30-45 mins with her in the morning.

All this makes me feel very sad and guilty that I won't really see her at all for 3 days :( . I'm also worried about fitting everything in that I need to do in work, as some of my job is linked into the school day so it'll be a push to get all my work visits done. Also, I know I'll be very tired going back to work anyway but even more so with doing long, v busy days (and DD still often wakes for a feed at night).

I'm hoping that the sacrifices I'll have to make on the longer days are going to be worth it to have that extra full day with my DD. Has anyone got any thoughts on this or personal experience of something similiar? I was really happy at the thought of the 2 full days with my baby and now I'm feeling worried that I may have made the wrong decision.

I think you will be fine. I went back to work full time when my ds was about 10months, but it was compressed hours so I did 35 hours over 4 days. I carried on bfing him until he was two, without having to express.

It's normal to worry, lots of fathers don't see their children Monday to Friday with no feelings of guilt.

Enjoy your lunch breaks.

I feel for you, not an easy decision. Do you have to do that many hours? Can you get tax credits? I am due back to work in dec and will get home at 6.30 after full day but only work 2days and I'm happy with this decision (will have one hr with her before bed). Not sure how will feel in reality but that works financially for me. Have to look at finances with nursery and what a half day will cost etc

Thanks so much for responding Jesse, that's really reassuring.

daisy, unfortunately I do have to do that many hours. Thanks for your suggestions but I have been through our finances with a fine tooth comb. We don't qualify for tax credits, even if I dropped the half day. Hope all works out with your work arrangements for Dec.

It sounds like your boss is prepared to be flexible about how you fit your hours into the week. This is a really good sign, as if it isn't quite right, then you can ask if you can shift it again. I went back to work when my child was 5 months old, and did 18 hours, but I can't remember how many times I changed my working pattern over the last 7 years! I am so grateful that all the different people managing the different programmes I worked on were so flexible with me. Good luck

Thank you Clockless. You're right, my manager is being really flexible :)