What path should I choose?

[Bubblicious77]

This is the first time I have ever posted so really sorry if this is long and rambling!

I have a 7 week old little girl (my first) and am currently on mat leave. I have been totally overwhelmed by how much I love her and how much I love being a mummy.

Prior to becoming a mum I had a really good job which I enjoyed. It was very demanding and involved round the world travel. It paid very well and I earned more than my partner. It has always been assumed that I would return to this job on a 4 days a week basis. However, I am now finding the prospect of returning to this job (after nine months) terrifying because I cannot bear the thought of not seeing my LO very much. I will have to leave the house every day at 7.45 and will return at about 6 (on a good day). It makes me feel so sad to think about how much I am going to miss out on.

We are about to move house so this is my one opportunity to change everything because we could choose to down size and I could try to get a lower paid 9-5 job for maybe 3 days a week. The other option is to buy a great family home that would rely on me continuing to earn at the level I have previously. I am more inclined towards the first option as more than anything I want to be a good mummy. However my partner is not impressed with me as he thinks I am giving up my career / good pension etc which I may never be able to get back in to once children are at school etc.

I guess what I am asking is am I only feeling this way because she is still so little? Will I be ok about not seeing her so much once it is time for her to go to nursery? Will I regret giving up my career once she is a bit older and not so dependent on me?

Really sorry if I sound totally pathetic. I just never expected to feel like this and would really like some other opinions on it.

Give yourself more time. It is overwhelming when they're so little and so new; your hormones are still all over the place, everything is so intense. I felt exactly the same and just couldn't imagine putting my son in childcare. When the time came, though, I really wanted to go back part time and after the first few days it felt totally natural.

I'm a SAHM currently and definitely want to get back into the job market at some point soon.

Sorry for brief reply, bored children tugging on my arm!

Thank you Exasperated that's really good to hear. I should probably just be grateful to have a job and concentrate on enjoying my mat leave!

Firstly it is very early days,.,so give yourself more time. However from my personal experience it only gets harder to leave them as they get older. I have 2dcs and found it ok when I first went back to work, as the older they get the more they kinda want you and become more able to say this.
Both me and more recently my dh have taken payouts to ensure that we have better hours so we can both be at home more for our dcs. And they both love having us there more, we feel better, so everything is more enjoyable. I know not everyone can do this, but it sunds you may be able to.
They are only little once, IMHO do all you can to be with them as much as you can. Enjoy them.

Paycuts,,,not payouts! We wish.

My advice would be DO NOT get a mortgage now which relies on you maintaining your high salary. You can delay the decision about your job, and even go back to your current role, but that way you won't be "trapped" and can make a decision later. Also you may find that DH will see things differently once he experiences the reality of you both working.