Working and living in 2 locations during the week, can it work?

[HerdingSquirrels]

It's a few months until I return to work, but I'm still no closer to figuring out how I'm going to manage childcare/work/commute.

The problem is the commute (1.5hrs, often longer when there's holiday traffic/an accident). So in an attempt to avoid a daily commute, we are considering staying in the city (in a flat close to work) for the 3 days I am in the office, with DD in nursery there, and live at home for the rest of the week (working from home and using a childminder). DD will be 1 year old.

Does anyone split their week like this, is it feasible? Would a baby cope with it?

Bump

to be honest the constant changing would unsettle and annoy the hell out of my dd and I. you're probably best Staying in a bnb 1 night on your own and commuting the others

I have no experience with this, but know several people who commute/live separately.

one couple whose kids are adults now, used to live in separate homes. One would live in the family home and the other in the 'London' home. As the kids got older and went to London, the kid who was working in London would stay with the parent in the London flat (iyswim).

The family continued to function. I think you need to be prepared though that that's the kind of relationship you want/can live with/thrive on.

Another family - father had a medical rotation in a different county, the mum lived in the family home with the then baby/child. Dad rented a flat somewhere. They lasted about 2 years. Mum quit and followed dad to his rotation, with kid. Then got pregnant with 2nd kid. V happy

Another family - the mum commutes 1.5 hr by train. Stays over one night a week in London. works 4 days a week.

If it were me, I would situated the baby with one parent, and the other parent commutes.

Oops, I missed the vital piece of information.

DH and I would always be together! So we would both travel into the city and stay in the flat together (we both work in the city) and spend the rest of the week together at home, working from home.

We wouldn't be staying apart from each other (I agree, that would be very difficult to make work!!).

No idea about the moving backwards and forwards during the week but I can say that a 1.5+ hour (3+ hours a day) commute is doable in case you go down that route. You just need to think of it as your 'me time' and use it as an opportunity to separate your home life and your work life. I drive my 3 hour daily commute but if you can use public transport so much the better as your time will be more your own iyswim.

I did this for a bit over a year. Lived in one location with DD who attended CM while I worked and then came home for the rest of the week/weekend. DH wasn't always with us though as he travels extensively with his job and that was a big factor in the reason we set up this arrangement.

It's pretty exhausting, you have to be really organised and the time you have at home never seems long enough but it was a solution to a problem and it worked reasonably ok for a while.

I'd do it if you're desperate and its a short-medium term measure. I don't think doing this indefinitely would work for me.

Good luck, I have always found the return to work/child care juggle brings out my creative streak

Thanks everyone.

It's only this week that I've realised that the commute would mean either DD being in childcare from 7.30am - 6.30pm or being in the car for 2 hours (public transport isn't an option). Either way, I would barely see her. I know there are probably plenty of mums out there saying 'but that's what we have to do and we manage', but it's not for me.

We can't afford to move back into the city (long story why we can however manage 3 days a week) and there's no work where we live. I can't see any other way around it, unless I can negotiate a role with the team in the States, leave the office early and work in the evenings .

I'd better get organised!

Good luck squirrels! Whatever works for your family will cause the least stress. I think it's easier to accept a situation when you know it's the best option for you

Hi Squirrels. I do something similar - I spend Mon - Wed in Kent where DD (16 months) is in nursery while I work, and Thurs - Sun in London doing baby things. It works really well for us - she doesn't seem unsettled at all. Babies adapt to whatever sitauation they are in - much easier while they're smaller. Hope it works out for you xx