Travelling for work, leaving baby at home - any experiences?

[MissMitten]

Hi,

I've just gone back to work after maternity leave; my little one is 9 months old. I have to travel 4 or 5 times a year for work, usually for 4 or 5 days at a time, sometimes up to a week. I'll probably have to travel again for the first time in a couple of months and I'm a bit worried about leaving DS for so long. Will he be terribly upset? Is he going to give DP a hard time while I'm away? Will he even remember who I am when I get back? Any experiences?

Thanks!

I've never had to do it for work but have left DS with family for 3 nights around 12 months old so me and DH could go away for our anniversary, DS was fine with us when we got back (although after initially greeting us, he sulked for about 15 mins) so long as you trust the person looking after him he will be fine. I was far more upset than DS was

I travelled for work from when ds was 6 months old, and he and dh were (and are) fine. He certainly remembered me, and the only issue dh had was that ds was used to being bf at night, but he just dealt with having ebm.

DH and I have an agreement that he never tells me anything stressy when I'm away (cos I can do nothing about it), which he is v good about. Unlike the dh's of some of my colleagues, one of whom seems to relish telling her about how the kids are ill/missing her etc, and can never remember how to use Calpol

I started rehearsals full time when DS was 9months and was on tour for 3 weeks 5 weeks later. He was looked after by a mix of his dad, my mum and child care. Since then whenever I direct I arrange rehearsals so DS goes to my mum's over night two nights a week (she's a saint!) and also rehearse at weekends when his dad is home, hasn't affected our relationship at all and in fact has created a really strong bond between DS and his nana and daddy due to so much one on one time

Don't worry, you'll both be fine

I've done this a few times and it's all gone smoothly. Key thing has been making sure dh understood 'normal' routine and sticks to it. He and Dd have been fine every time, I'm the one who frets!

I've done this and never had any problems from the children, they adapt fine. I first went away when my twins were 7 months and it all went very smoothly.

Oh, thanks everyone! This is very reassuring. And thanks for the practical tips as well.

I travel semi-regularly although only in the UK or Europe. I also swan off for weekends away with the girls

My top tip is FaceTime. DD is 18mo and really interacts with me via it now. It's great.

I travelled v regularly, once/twice a month Mon-Fri for work in a previous job. It started as soon as I went back at 7 months and was all long haul so no opportunity to get back if there were problems.
Facetime/Skype is great, but the timezone differences can make life quite tricky. We often did a short call just before DD's bedtime (they'll only be engaged for a few mins and then tootle off), and I would call later and talk to DH when she was in bed and he'd had some food.
It's occasionally v tough in the early days if they are teething or a bit poorly and they are cranky/wailing on the other end. Never for you but you do feel a bit :( and then some.
In all actuality - it's tougher on your other half. They have no flexiblity on their start/end times while you are away unless you have built in into your childcare so consider that carefully. By the time, they get in, do bed and bathtime they are often quite late sitting down to eat themselves and obv can't pop out for a takeaway/beer with a friend. It's a bit relentless for them.
I negotiated a few regular days working from home as a trade off, put in place a flexible arrangement with childcare so my DH could have some time to get to the gym or just have a late one at work if necessary, and did some menu planning.
By far the biggest impact is on your relationship with your DH, and how it makes you personally feel to be so far away from your DC. It did fantastic things to my DH/DC relationship though. I'd just come off mat leave and while he was great to pull his weight, he did look to me for guidance on everything. Suddenly, he had to decide whether she needed nappy rash cream or not, what to give her for dinner, what she should wear etc[worth leaving spares with the CM :) ]
Best of luck and enjoy the "rest" when you do travel. It's a nice opportunity to watch some crap telly and paint your nails in the evenings.