Advice on when to go back to work please

[Ribz]

Hello. My baby boy (1st baby)is currently 4 months old and my work have agreed to let me go back to work on a p/t (3 days) basis as I can't possibly cope with f/t away from him. DS will go into nursery for 2 days and be with his Nana on one day. I don't know whether to go back to work 1st June (DS 7 months) or 1st August (DS 9 months). DH and I have agreed we will give p/t a go and if we don't like it we will struggle with pennies and I will quit. I have heard that after 9 months it is harder for child to adapt to nursery- but then if I leave it longer I get more time with DS. Any thoughts/advice/experience???-is there a better time for little ones to start nursery???

Here is my experience it may assist. DD was 7 months old when I returned f/t. I was without a house at the time so DD lived with her Grandma for 6 weeks and I saw her first thing sat am and put her to bed on Sun evening. In the week I was woking away. We had been staying with my mum off and on for 5 months prior to my return to work. DD was in nursery for 4 shortish days while my mum worked. When DD was 8.5 months old I bought my house and DD came to live with me and I employed a daily nanny. DD adapted to all the above without the bat of an eye. Always slept through, always ate well.

For me, crawling was an important milestone in this regard - I put Dd into nursery at about 11 months, and it cheered me think that she was more expresive of her needs,and more able to help herself, since she was older.

I don't know the science - but I would think by 7 months you've missed that window when they're 'too young to notice' - so i wouldn't set too much store by that.

I'd go back in August.

• you get longer with him when he's really little
• you get more of the summer with him
• everyone's on holiday in august and it will be a more gentle re-introduction

DS started nursery at 7 and 1/2 months and LOVED it from the word go. Whatever happens I would build up to it slowly, leave him for an hour a few times, then a few half days, so its not such a shock to either of you

go back as late as you can but have ds going to childcare for a few hours each week beforehand for a few weeks, get to stage where he spends his first full day from you before you go back to work - then if there's a problem you can get there immediatedly.

with dd1, we didn't use childcare till she was nearly two (1.9 - i think) as we split our working weeks - this was probably the hardest for her but she settled in very quickly and desperately misses this childminder now. I also couldn't emotionally put my dd with anyone else at a younger age.

now we have 2dd's and they have a new childminder - dd2 is 5mths and just goes with the flow - we've been building up from 5hrs a week to one full day over the last four weeks because thought dd1 wouldn't settle (shes 2.11 now) but she has (took 5mins!) and dd2 has just slept. So, realistically I could have saved myself some money.

Am back to work next week but only doing 1 day for next 3 weeks, then 2 days for three weeks and then 3 days from mid May.

It's a major shock going back to part-time working and takes alot to adjust. - and you have to be very organised.