Dear all,
I am a new member here, and I feel so happy to be here to share my issues with you virtual friends.
Here goes my issue... I am a mother of a 19 months old toddler. I work for the United Nations and my work includes lots of field trips that makes me go home a little later than a normal working woman (Normally I back to home by 7 pm). Btw, I am a Sri Lankan, living in Sri Lanka and working in an area, which is very far from my home town.
I took a very long maternity break for 01 year, and then resumed with my career after the first b'day of my son. I then took my son with me to the town where I am posted with this new work. I hired a nanny and bought my mom over here to train the nanny according to my son's requirements. I too was there at some points to train her.
After almost 03 months training, my mom left to her home. From that point onwards, I started leaving my toddler alone with this nanny while I am away for work. My husband too works in the same town, but his schedule is far complicated than mine, hence he won't be home before I come back.
I cook and clean... Do all the house hold chores before and after my office works. I never tasked any works to my nanny other than looking after my kid. It is very difficult to get a nanny in this area, and also its a big task to train them. Again, it is a nightmare to find a trust worthy person here to leave your toddler alone... So, I was so pleased and humbled to have her, hence treated her like a goddess.
After some months, I started hearing from my neighbors that my son cries and screams and become so silent after a while. They asked me to monitor whether my kid is being beaten up by this nanny. I was shattered to hear this and asked my son in a very soft way... He started pointing out his hands and legs with a sign of "beating" and "pinching" by the nanny... God... I cried a lot after knowing this.. hence I asked one of my good neighbor to have an eye on this.
The next day, the girl told me the same.. and that was enough for me to get the nanny out of my home. I tried finding someone else, but failed... Now I had to resume my job again, as I had taken enough leave for family matters.
I then decided to leave my kid with my mom at her home, and I am sure (confirmed) that my mom and sister takes care of my son very well.. He too enjoys it a lot, and puts on some more weights after being with his grand ma...
It makes me feel happy and comfortable in a way, but on the other hand I feel so empty to be alone in my home without my kid. I go and see him during the weekend.
All went well, but last week, he was so attached to me, specifically he wanted to be with me all the times..even in bed time, he looked for me... My sister was telling that he searched for me all over their home on Monday when I came back to work here.
I feel guity for making my child uncomfortable and longing for his mom/home... But in the war affected place where I am working, I can not find a day care or play school.. so I have to fully depend on nannies.. But I dont dare to take another nanny and trust her...
Advice pls
Ida