how do you deal with gossip at work

[taytotayto]

i was having some issues at work which i thought were all cleared up. but last week i left the office but forgot something and went back for it. two colleagues were deep in discussion when i walked back in and looked like rabbits in headlights. i asked a question which they both (funnily enough) repeated back to me. like they were trying to cover something up. i picked my mobile up and one of the women watched me leave the room before she spoke. strange i thought. im almost certain they were talking about me, i feel very isolated and left of of the click but that doesnt bother me really, what bothers me is instead of telling me if im doing something wrong they dont tell me but gossip about it. (thats what caused problems in the past).
what i want to know is how do i discuss this matter of them talking about me , do i just come out and ask them if they were?

No, in my experience they'll just lie and twist things, so my advice brazen it out, keep your head held high and carry on as normal, but always being aware and never forgetting what they've done.

How awful for you though it's horrible isn't it, been there. Don't let the bastards get you down

it is not nice at all. I have experienced it. and found there is very little you can do really. apart from make it clear you heard it, if it happens again. Somehow.

I recall feeling sick when I walked into a room of about 8 colleagues having their usual 'lunch club' after an incident when I was violently abused by a client, and as I walked in the room, which should have been full of gossip and laughter, went silent, and then a colleague said 'oh and i managed to get a cheap flight to majorca!' or something similarly inane and random and then the discussion started again. it was a split second of stare, silence, continue. and I expect it carried on again when I walked out after getting a chocolate bar. they did not even say hello as they were so caught out. So, depsite, shaking and feeling that sick deep down feeling I said 'ok ladies?! enjoy your lunch!' and walked out.

I am sorry you have had to experience this.

thank you both for such supportive advice, sometimes i think its only me that has shit at work and i tend to feel im the problem. i must admit this is the first time ive had trouble at work. ( i recently moved teams as this team cant keep staff, wonder why?) ive always loved my job. im so low in mood now that i went to see gp on friday and now im on antidepressants.
i dont mind anyone talking about me if what they are gossiping about is correct but i was told indirectly that they were talking about something i didnt do correctly a few weeks ago. it turns out i had done it but no one wants to gossip about things you do correctly. and to top it all one of the women started the rumur to distract from her not doing her job right. i hate going to work for the first time in 20 years.

Tayto,

It's horrid, but I think you need to be able to put on a nonchalant face and brazen it out. Big friendly smile and 'Gosh, you lot look guilty as hell!', smile confidently again, and breeze out.

Have to go - will post shortly again.

And another thing, the only person who should be appraising you on your work is your line manager, not your colleagues. Would it be worth speaking to your line manager and asking for some one to one feedback on how you are doing, what you can do to improve etc?

Try not to worry what other people think of you (I know it is easy to say). Asking them about it just shows them that you feel insecure, and gives them power. Don't make it easy for people to run you down.

How do you know they were talking about you a few weeks ago? I am always deeply suspicious of people who have told me about 'what others have said'.

beryl. i was accused of not doing something but of course in a nice way but when i asked for more details it was brushed off. i told a woman who works part time that ive known for years and she doesnt get involved in the gossip. she said oh yes i did hear them talking about that but i switced off when i realised it had nothing to do with me. she admited it was me they were talking about. i was furious. but said nothing to them,

Tayto, honestly, you need to try to ignore this - speak to your line manager to see if he or she is happy with your work.

Incidentally, do you work in the Tayto factory

no i dont but hones to god sometimes i wish i did

I'm not so sure about working in the Tayto factory. You might get hit by a double-dip recession.

[ROFL at my own joke]