How do you handle work when your dc is always ill?

[Zoohouse]

I work in public sector (nhs) and have been back at work 3 months. In that time I have been off with my ds every 3 weeks or so. He's had chickenpox, tonsillitis x 2 and strep infection. So proper stuff that I've had to take him to GP for.
Work so far have been great, but I am now using my annual leave to cover his sickness and frankly, I'm worried about how to keep on top of my work load and not piss my employer and lovely colleagues off!
Does anyone else have experience of a persistently poorly toddler and if so, how do you manage your work? What is your attitude? Guilty or par for the course of employing mums?

"The good news, by the way, is that for all the working mums I know, it was only the first child that created the issues. Subsequent kids seemed to benefit from being surrounded by germs of their siblings and stuff like coughs/colds seemed far less frequent (anecdotally, of course. No idea if it stacks up statistically)."

I think it's also the PFB'ness which has worn off a bit once #2 comes along. You're just more relaxed with experience with regards to what is an illness which needs staying at home (i.e. infectious stuff or being very obviously poorly) and what isn't (snuffles)

Ah OP you have my sympathy with this issue! Since the jubilee weekend dd has had chicken pox, a chest infection, an ear infection, tonsillitis and a severe UTI resulting in me having lots of time off. I am an LP and ex has very little involvement. I have nobody else to look after dd and think I am holding onto my job by a thread! No advice but it is very difficult!

Quit?

not sure thats advice Sriracha

Sigh.

You're right, MPP but it is the elephant in the room, isn't it? There's no perfect solution, IMO. Just things to consider.

tbh I'd just carry on as normal. You can't help it, it's not your fault. do all you can to make sure that everybody isnt fecked by your short notice and then all will be fine.

Widow and still, sorry to disappoint you but ds is no pfb! One of 4 actually (I have an 11 yo and 2 step children living with us). I also work with sick kids, so please don't preach about "experience" and being "relaxed" to me or other parents in the same situation.

Jareth, that's probably the best advice tbh.

Didn't meant it as having a go, sorry if it came across that way - I know that I'm much more relaxed with my second child than with my first, and thought it may have not only be me.

zoo I am in a similar situation with job that involves constant tight deadlines and DH who is self employed. If he takes time off at short notice he doesn't earn and also risks annoying client. If I take time off then colleagues get bigger workload and I end up with stacks of catching up to do.

However I have found it is important to split the sick cover wherever possible, and to let your employer know this. I also think that ALL working parents go through this at some point unless they are very lucky and it's important not to stress about it too much. We live in a culture that tends to put work before family and our stress levels are high and productivity low compared to some other countries that have a more balanced approach. As long as you are doing your best you should try not to worry, the world of work does tend to keep turning even if you're not there.

It was a nightmare. I went through this DS1 (now 12). I also work in the public sector.When he first went to nursery as your son he was sick every month maybe for the first 12 months and then that was sort of it. (He's never had a day off school sick so it's like he got it all out of the way in the first year so it does get better).

Generally I would take one day, DP would take one day and if necessary GP would take one day (I see you don't have this option). Also I would ask to work a late shift (so DP had him in the evening)or change my rest days to accommodate. I was lucky in having a sympathetic boss and now as a manager myself I have no problem with changing shifts around when I can see staff are struggling with this issue.

At the end of the day, OP, if you are mostly covering with annual leave and it is OK in your contract or with your manager to take that at short notice, you may feel bad about your colleagues but they have holiday entitlements which they will use too in due course.

As with others ....

Split the days with DH - it isn't fair to burden your employer with all the days (regardless of whether DH is self employed or an employee).

Annual leave and unpaid dependants leave to cover day one then friend/family/emergency nanny from day two.

And just hang in there! My DTs were sick almost constantly for 4 months after starting nursery so every day felt like Russian roulette guessing whether nursery would take them or not. After 4 months things improved dramatically and they're rarely sick now. Anecdotally, people tell me that you either go through those 4 months when they start nursery or when the start school. So I'm hoping we've done our stint and starting school wi cause less illness ....

In the first month dd went to nursery she was off more than she was in. Month 2 it was about 50:50. Month 3 - Ill about 25%. In the following 14 months she's had one tummy bug, one chest infection, one lot of hand, foot & mouth and chicken pox and that is all.

You just have to wait it out.

Ironically we only coped with the first 3 months because dh was made redundant (in the go to work as normal on Monday morning, home never to return by 11am way) two weeks after I started back at work.

With illnesses since he got his new job we both take time off, my office is open from 7am so I do mornings from 7. H can work at home so he often does in the evenings. I have gone in on a Saturday one time. Chicken pox in particular was awful as dd didn't sleep, I was up at 5:30am each day and dh was still working at midnight but we made it through.

Good to hear from everyone that it passes! As I said, I have other kids but none have experienced continuous illness at this age.
Dh and I have discussed, and he accepts that he needs to do some of the sick leave too - you are all right; it's not fair on my employer that he doesn't (or me in fact).