help me remember things please

[aliasjoey]

I've been really useless at my work lately, and now on second formal review, my boss said pull socks up etc.

I don't know why I'm crap, love my job just can't concentrate, keep forgetting things. Am really terrified of losing my job and feel awful. GP thinks I might have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but I think thats not going to help me, I don't know what to do.

Sorry I always hate reading these posts on mumsnet where the OP is so upset they can't even spell properly but I'm shaking. I really hate myself, I could read the list of things on my job spec which haven't been done (letters, meetings etc)

Okay this isn't just a whine, I was hoping soimeone had ideas to help please. I already use the calendar on Outlook to remind me of meetings, and I have these little yellow notes which popup on screem to tell me about things. What else could I do? Is there anyone with a poor memory who has tips to give me?

I may not be back straightaway, I'm so upset right now but I will come and read if anyone has time to reply.

If you've had a formal review, has your boss given you examples of where you're going wrong? Is it that things are being done late / missed / not to the required standard / slower than colleagues?

Using Outlook for meeting reminders and the Note function is sophisitcated time management, so you're not useless at work. When we ask about time management in interview questions, these are the sort of techniques that we hope people will mention.

Give us a couple of examples of how you've been "really useless" lately and the cumulative MM mind will be able to give you some techniques to help.

thank you.

Okay, we have a meeting a week on Monday and I should have prepared some stuff for that & emailed my manager. I forgot/didn't know about the meeting.

Promotional visits are logged in our 'Promotion' subfolder on our works intranet; apparently I should also have been logging them in another subfolder in statistics.

Basically there were a lot of tasks written down from my last review, but I forgot to get a copy of it - so most of them hadn't been done.

I emailed a friend to ask her advice on whether to tell my boss about possible CFS - the boss saw a non-work email in my inbox and said it was unprofessional.

We're setting up extra promotional visits over the next few months, and I asked if I could not attend the meeting because I'd been run-down and didn't want to take on any extra work. Was told that it wasn't 'extra' it was part of my job, and made to feel pathetic for asking.

Sorry, that wasn't about forgetting something was it. Am I guilty of drip-feeding as well

Joey this sounds more of a training issue than inability / incompetence:

• Have you been told that you can't use work e-mail for non-work messages?
• Were you told into which folders promotional visits should be recorded?
• Why did your manager not give you the original of the tasks you agreed in the last review and take a copy for his / her own records? Yes, it would have been helpful had you taken a notepad in and made your own notes but if a manager expects you to do X, it's their responsiblity to ensure that you know about this.
• "we have a meeting a week on Monday and I should have prepared some stuff for that & emailed my manager. I forgot/didn't know about the meeting." How are you told about these? could your manager be able to view your Outlook mailbox and send you a meeting invitation so you do know about future meetings?

Oh, and being made to feel pathetic for sounding alarm bells as your stress levels is potentially bullying.

Still think this is an issue with you and your skills?

spend the weekend ignoring work and concentrate on getting some sun now it's finally arriving and catching up on sleep, maybe look at a decent multivitamin / iron tablet until you can get a decent diagnosis from your doctor.

Now you do know where to record stats - use the Notes function in Outlook to record key points - Promotion stats go in Stats folder as well as promotion folder etc.

If you need to take on the extra work, get the details of it and sit down quietly to break it down into manageable tasks - it's called elephant eating (how do you eat an elephant? one small piece at a time). Start with when X promotional visit is due and work back from there on paper, what needs to be done, in what order, until you record the first thing that you need to do, then plot these individual tasks into your e-mail calendar. Then start on the next visit and do the same, if there are any clashes between tasks for different projects you can move work around in your calendar to accommodate everything. Make sure you take short regular breaks from your PC, drink water often and get out of the office at lunchtime as these will all help you feel better.

I'll creep away now

Why do you think it's your fault for not doing these things? Sounds to me like it's just as much a management problem.

e.g.

• duplicating things in two folders. I tend to think that if you have to enter things somewhere twice, you've designed your process wrong. Someone will always forget, or the two copies will get out of sync
• not knowing about a meeting and stuff to prepare. Shouldn't there be a centralised calendar, agenda, etc accessible to everyone with details of stuff like this?
• tasks assigned in a meeting should be confirmed in writing/email after a meeting by whoever took notes. If I've had a meeting where things have been arranged, I'll always email with a summary of who agreed to what, as things inevitably get forgotten.

How about designing some flowcharts that show what needs to be done when something happens? Or be proactive about seeing where there are issues and suggesting more foolproof ways around them.

I have to agree, this sounds like a chaotic workplace, not your bad memory.

Certainly if you had specific areas to address after your last review, your manager should have made sure you had a copy of what they were.

I wouldn't worry about mentioning the response to the extra promotional work - it sounds like they are just looking for reasons to be negative about you.

just taken the dog out, and feel a bit better. Thanks to everyone who got back to me.

Re. the workplan, I think she did give me a copy but I forgot it? I think part of the problem is I get so many email and memos its hard to keep track of them eg. I did have the one about the meeting a week on Monday, it was sent about a month ago but it had slipped my mind.

Re. the duplication of folders - I agree it is daft, but I guess they are used for slightly different things. But there may be a way of merging them - I will look into that.

Not sure if the workplace is chaotic - most things are documented - its just me who doesn't remember to read the bloody documents. I agree about this though: "Oh, and being made to feel pathetic for sounding alarm bells as your stress levels is potentially bullying"

Thanks for all your ideas, I feel a bit calmer now.

So what does it mean, aliasjoey, that you think she gave you a copy of the doc and you forgot - did she email it to you, or print it out and give it to you? Were you given the impression it wasn't anything you needed to worry about or refer back to?

For emails with the tasks for a meeting a long way in the future (which, I have to say, I would have not only forgotten but probably deleted by now as we have a strict mailbox size which is next to useless challenging) you can set up an Outlook task with the email in it, and a reminder to pop up a few days before the meeting (or as long as necessary to sort out the tasks).

Dealing with a busy inbox is not easy; it's a learnt skill and it doesn't sound like they are very intent on helping you. Nearly everything everyone gets is chuff, in my view - I would ruthlessly prune anything that doesn't require action to keep your inbox manageable. Do you have instant messaging at work? It can be very useful to use this as an alternative to email for anything that's a back-and-forth chat (obviously we mostly use it for gossiping but it's also good for chewing something over and then reaching a conclusion, before that's typed up in an email).

Do you work from a to do list, or is there never time to create one because of the day-to-day madness?

It does sound as if your concentration isn't great, and this can be a real problem with chronic fatigue, so do keep pursuing a diagnosis. It's really important you spend this weekend recharging your batteries and not worrying about this situation!

This might not be relevant but a memory trick we were taught at uni to help us study was to imagine yourself walking round your house and give each room a part of what you need to remember, break it down into small chunks. So maybe your going in your front door, so what is in you inbox...then the living room what do you need to do for meetings etc you have to fit it to meet your needs but it helped me with my exams, hope this helps.

Also maybe invest in a wee digi voice recorder, make notes to yourself listen to them before doing the task, list your tasks etc. It helps your memory to have the double whammy, ie speaking it and listening to it back. Repeating what people say helps to encode memories. It also helps confirm things so no crossed wires and makes sure youve got the just of what is being asked of you. Waitresses do it all the time, read back the order.

People can generally hold only 7 items in their working memory, so chunking things together helps, we do this with phone numbers, eg 0141 440 xxx instead of 0 1 4 1 etc.

Two ideas here

• do you think you may be dyslexic or dyspraxic? I have managed and worked with several very intelligent capable people who have been diagnosed as adults, who have gone into meltdown when trying to deal with the sort of tasks that you describe. I find it difficult to organise myself too, I have found it helps to mentally rehearse my day as I drive to work so that I am prepared when I get there. I also try to stick to a timetable so that I fence off time to deal with each task
• you must be under stress with this going on, and I know from my own experience that my memory and ability to organise myself falls apart when I feel stressed and out of control. I literally can't think. It might be worth finding out if there are stress management courses that can help you cope. Try Mood Gym.

And remember that this doesn't mean you are a useless person or crap at your job, you come across as someone genuinely trying to do a good job! You need a hug , a glass of wine and a good cry and then come out fighting xx

Sorry to hear you are upset with what is happening.

I used to have a fantastic memory but appear to have lost it when pregnant and it hasn't come back. I am a plc board secretary so my role requires me to ensure all meetings are properly planned and all points followed up ie I am the one doing the chasing up! So whereas I used to just remember things I realised this wouldn't work anymore so had to use some basic tools:

-To do list. Either written or electronic. With dates on. I used excel and sorted list by categories, recurring monthly tasks are easy to just copy down

• Put every meeting in diary immediately I set it up/accet it, otherwise would forget to do it. If papers/prep needed then block out a specific block of time a week before meeting. I also ensure I have a clear 30mins-1hr between meetings in case of last minute prep/printing needed

-Meeting follow up points - added to my to do list immediately after meetings

• Email management - my inbox is always empty as I spend 1/2 hour first thing each morning filing them in folders. Red flag anything that needs action at a later date.
• old fashioned paper day file. Expanding wallet or lever arch file with a section for each day of the month and put papers in the right day (when you'll next need them) as soon as you get them

HTH

Thank you SO much for all your ideas and suggestions!

tribpot re. the notes which I forgot from my last review. I probably believed that I would somehow remember everything we discussed, so didn't look too closely at the written notes! Obviously I was wrong... I will keep a copy nearby and refer to it regularly. However, my ordinary job spec/ongoing tasks etc was 4 pages long; the extra part about not being on top of my work was another 2 pages... it does all feel like endless paperwork sometimes.

I think I have to be better at putting into my diary and outlook every meeting/presentation/promotional event as soon as I find out about it and as someone said there is a link to the Notes field.

Yes, there are way too many irrelevant emails. I'm thinking about diverting some of them straight into Junk - but worry in case I miss something in the 1-in-a-million time that it turns out to be important.

I don't usually have a to-do list because... the 'big scheme' (my workplan) seems too huge, and the little everyday things are already in my Outlook. But I probably need to start looking at doing this properly. I like the idea of setting aside a specific time to prep things. And I am NOW going to write down all of these ideas for Monday.

I think one of the problems has been that I feel so overwhelmed instead of tackling the issue I just hide

Thanks again

joey