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Career gone how do I cope?

10 replies

handbagCrab · 18/07/2012 07:29

My role was restructured when I was on mat leave. I've gone back and another type of worker has been given my job and I'm now in a lower role. Legally, it's ok because my position was a temp contract. But I feel morally and the way it's been handled, it's frankly shite.

I've gone from being top of my game, doing lots of good things to now being way down the ladder, no opportunities for career progression, no line management responsibilities. Other staff are avoiding me and I feel utterly demoralised.

My line manager who has avoided me as much as he can has said either I have to write this as a positive narrative in my head or leave. The positive being that I may be able to go part time now I'm in a lower role.

On paper it sounds really good. I still earn a good wage, should get three full days a week, my job is interesting and not right back at the bottom, I'm starting a new course with a long term view to career change. But, my team who I recruited and nurtured are sniping, there's no steerage, all my initiatives had been appropriated by other colleagues so I feel I'm having to start again, I'm expected to support the person who now has my job and toe the party line.

I just feel like I've made a terrible awful mistake or that I'm really bad at my job but no one ever dared tell me so they waited until I wasn't there to do all this. I have no friends in the work place, no allies in management and I feel no one cares about me or my interests at all. Because its a caring role I find this a real stark contrast to the ethos we promote.

Can anyone help? Should I leave when I've done my 13 weeks, stick it out til I find another job, stick it out until Ds starts school, or something else? We could scrape by on dh's wage but I don't think I could afford my career change course then. Unfortunately it's not the kind of work you could just turn up and do bare minimum, and I'm not that kind of person anyway.

OP posts:
LCarbury · 18/07/2012 07:34

I would say stick it out until you find another job, rewrite all the positives, yes, but in terms of your skills and your ideal job and then go and get it!

Himalaya · 18/07/2012 07:46

It sounds like they know they've done wrong by you, maybe not legally but morally, and are avoiding you because of the cognitive dissonance you cause to their view of themselves as nice, fair, liberal people.

I think you have to stick it out until you can make a positive jump.

An0therName · 18/07/2012 17:33

how long have you been back - its hard when ever you return to work from mat leave - so it may get easier
did you feel you had friends at work before your mat leave? how long had you been there?

I would look for another job now - leaving without a job doesn't sound a great option or waiting till DS starts school

VickyWurt · 18/07/2012 18:11

Stiff upper lip. Keep going, keep looking. The cream always rises to the top - if you were once top of your game, you will be again.

Do it all with a smile and spring in your step.

handbagCrab · 18/07/2012 18:47

Thanks :)

Had a terrible day, spent most of it in tears. My new performance manager has set odd targets that are too low for my level but really easy to say I'm not meeting. It's hard to describe. It feels like a way to say either I'm not competent because I'm not even meeting lowly targets or to say I should be paid less as the role I do is lesser. She also didn't know half of what I did/ do and I don't know if this means I'm not doing it any more or what. She asked me if I had a job description. We agreed it would be out of date if I did. I'm so angry. I didn't apply for another job because I was assured I was a valued member of the team when i was on leave. I just don't know anymore.

I didn't have any real friends at work before but plenty of people to say hi to and chat a little with. I'm probably being oversensitive but it's all too much and at once. My line manager has stepped up a bit after I cried in his office for an hour but it's a bit too late as he goes on Friday!

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 18/07/2012 18:50

Sounds like a horrible situation.

Many years ago a line manager wanted my guts (for being a lot better at my job than he was) and set me tasks that were not appropriate to my seniority on the team, knowing full well that I did not know how to do them (why should I? They were technical tasks for a different sort of employee). And then slammed me on my performance review. What can you do in such circumstances?

An0therName · 19/07/2012 17:31

sorry should have said sound horried but crying all day sound like a lot - do you think maybe a visit to the gp might be a good idea

Ohdearwhathappened · 19/07/2012 17:40

Oh I feel for you I really do (check out my other thread under this name which is one I have changed to recently)

I feel you should stick it out since you have an escape plan but first and foremost please remember this is not your fault

handbagCrab · 19/07/2012 20:05

Sorry bonsoir that your experience was so rubbish. I do think positions of responsibility appeal to the wrong sorts sometimes.

another I'm watching myself for the signs and I'm not depressed, well ATM anyway! I haven't cried today so that's a good sign :)

ohdear thanks I'll check out your thread. I spoke to a telephone support service yesterday and they pretty much said the same thing. It's really hard not to internalise it all and believe its my fault and I did something really bad. I'm trying though :)

Thanks to everyone for your support Thanks

OP posts:
PooPooInMyToes · 19/07/2012 20:09

That's really shit op Sad

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