working irregular days far away from home - baffled!

[thepeanutsparent]

I can't think what to do about this, and would be so grateful if anyone has any bright ideas!
My DS in 4 mo, DH is a teacher and I'm a university lecturer. The Uni I work at is 3 hrs commute away from home. They have offered me my usual days starting this October, which will be 3 days in a row for the 1st two weeks, mon- tues-weds, then odd days all over the place (1 day a week average) the rest of the year. Ds will be only 7 mo. I can't figure out if this is even possible to do! Dh leaves the house everyday at 7.15, returns at 6.30 ish. When I'm working I leave house at 5.45, back home 8.30pm. Should I take Ds down with me and try to find a creche there (I only work 6 hr day) or a nanny here? Do creche's etc even do such odd days? Because I'm a visiting lecturer, I have no job protection and there's MEGA competition in my sector. I'm 99% certain if I bow out this year, someone will fill the gap and I'll never get back in. Please if anyone can see a way through this I'd be so grateful. Thanks.

that is a tough one...
My ds currently goes to a childminder who can be flexible over which days people use as she keeps a 'floating place' free so that parents can use extra days. I don't know how common this is, but it could work for you.
BUT you also need a very long day (unless you find one close to your work)- would it be possible for your dh to leave work earlier on days you work to pick up, or do you have a friend or family who could do this and have ds for an hour or two?
Otherwise maybe a nanny share could work?
Good luck!

I would put an ad on somewhere like gumtree or childcare.

You may find someone who doesn't want too much commitment but would like the odd day here and there with a baby.

some childminders might do it - I would start looking ASAP
or as someone said some people might be happy to nanny share on that basis - again might take a bit of finding - contact would be the best way
If it was a bit nearer then I would say taking DS would be an option but that is a very long day for young baby
and I agree if your DH could get back a bit earlier it would help

Could dh use leave to cover some of the days too?

Thanks so mug for your inputs. I will def try to find childminder I think.
Haitch unfortunately he doesn't get any leave outside of school holidays.
Anothername thanks I was wondering if he would manage being taken with me.
I think actually now I might have to chance it and say I won't be back til after Xmas. DS is ebf and I cant see how we could keep up expressing for such long days. Hope hope hope I don't lose it entirely.

much not mug! Sorry!

Shame, thought it might of helped with flexibility.

hmm given the ebf - you could try taking him with you until xmas - could you stop over a friend - sometimes - to help with the long day and find some childcare there -maybe university nursery - or again nanny share - then look for CM after xmas - it would seem a shame to risk your job - for the sake what would be not that many days actually - or would any relative meet you there? or have him at home sometime. I also thinking once a week - provided he takes a bootle and you are happy to give formula - you could get away with it but you would need to express at least once in that day if you away from first thing in morning
but I guess longer term finding work a bit nearer to home if at all possible is going to be the answer - or your DH finding a job near your job?

Thanks again. I've just found out there is a nursery at the uni and remembered a colleague had said we could stay with her so now thinking IF I can get him into nursery / v local CM then... Bring him up the night before, then the day starts at a normal time, pick up 5 pm ish and home to friends house in time for normal bedtime routine...? Last day he can sleep in train home in sling I think that sounds do-able? That way I can feed him at lunchtime and bottle the res of the day. I'm a bit clueless about nanny sharing though, how does that work?

I would take a buggy for train- at 7 months he could go in lightweight one - and its good for handing things off as well - 7 month might not sleep so well in sling as 4 month
nanny sharing - as I understand it you find someone who has or want have nanny - that is often the challenging bit - although in your case if its one day probably someone who has a nanny who would be happy to have an extra one day a week is what is going to work
and you pay proportion of costs - have a look in this section there are a few threads about setting them up

BTW the threads on nanny share are on the childminders/nannies section of mumsnet - and there are other helpful hints about finding childcare there

Were you doing regular days before maternity leave? If you are only taking 6 months then you are entitled to the same job on the same terms.